Is it possible to have PND when DD is 16 months old?

[Stressed80]

Hi, I am so down, and have been on and off since my DD was born Jan 2020, I don't know if it is PND or just all this C19 crap and becoming a first time mum in it all with my partner and myself having no support and stuff.

I have gone back to work end of Jan after being off the whole year and whilst my partner is a fab Daddy, and I love my DD so much, I keep feeling miserable like I should not have gone down this path in life and I'm going to ruin theirs by being a bad mum/girlfriend. I feel like I am impatient, unfair, ungrateful and just horrible.

I'm not suicidal at all, just very, very tearful on a regular basis. Depression is a front runner in my family and although I have previously had counselling, I'm scared to go to the doctors as I don't want medication like my mum who has been dependent on it for more than 20 years. My other half is probably sick of me being a mess and I'm also scared of saying to him how unhappy I am because what if changing that means us splitting up?

I don't know what to do and if this will get better after Covid restrictions are all lifted and we can go back to normal.

Yes it could be. Go to the GP. Medication is an option but you can try for a short time and their are other options too.

Yes mine lasted till DS was 2 years old, therapy helped.

It sounds like you need help to make your life better, and that will make your DD and DP’s life better too.
Don’t be scared of taking medication long term. My DP has anxiety and medication was literally life saving for him, he has been told to take it for life. It’s like the medication is supplementing something that is missing in his brain.
But you need to commit to taking them for some time to see the full effect. We saw a small improvement after one month, but it was six months before he was fully better 💐

yes. I had it for years after my oldest was born. He was an extremely, extremely, difficult baby, and then toddler, to have to look after. it was horrific. Don't do what I did and hide away from help. Go to your gp x

The important thing is you recognise you're depressed, whether that's post-natal or not, I don't think really matters. Because your child is over one year, you won't be seen by perinatal mental health services anyway.

Go and chat to your GP - they will be able to signpost you to sources of support and talk through medication. Obviously, you don't have to take it, but I personally found it really helpful when I had PND. I came off it slowly less than a year later, so there's no reason to think you'll be on it forever (not that there's anything wrong with that for some people).

Good luck and I hope you get the support you need. Talking never makes anything worse in the long run

Please don’t be put off by your mums experience; just because you start taking them doesn’t mean that you’ll be dependent forever.
Going to the GP doesn’t necessarily mean anti depressants. I had cbt after my second child was born (I’d also had it about 7 years ago) and it was really helpful and even now a year later I continue to use what I’ve learnt. It’s been a tough year and a very difficult one to have a baby in so a lot of people need a bit extra help

Hi All,
Thanks for your replies. I took the advice onboard and spoke to my GP. I have a referral for CBT which is going to take about 6 months and in the mean time I'm having a little time off work and starting some counselling.

Some days I have felt awful, today I have felt better. I know I still have to get through a lot but a good day all the same. I also think I've accepted that as much as you can love your DC, you don't always have to necessarily love parenting every day and its nothing to feel guilty for.

I know many, many people are struggling at this time and I hope they reach out to things like this to get the ball rolling for getting help or venting or whatever.

😊 Xx