My son has always been difficult since birth (cried a lot, sensitive, emotional), which is the total opposite to his older sister who is the happiest easiest child. My 5 year old son, soon to be 6, can be the most loving and sweet and caring boy half of the time. Really lovely that he makes your heart melt. However the other half of the time is an absolute nightmare to the point that this a problem at school. By nightmare I mean that at school he struggles to listen and follow instruction. The teachers have told me that he has in the past refused to participate in class with eg a writing exercise, even with the teacher helping him. I know exactly how he can be, as we struggle with the same at home. If i ask him to write a sentence he protests saying he can’t do it when he very much can. We’ll have a stand off for a long time, tears might be involved, he’ll go off and then come back when he’s ready to try again, and then he does it. It’s exhausting. He really struggles to persuade himself to do things he doesn’t want to do. At school they have told us that he’s not doing enough work to show what he’s capable of and we know he is very capable when he wants to be or feels engaged. I fear that if he carries on this way he’ll really struggle at school and I can’t imagine school will want a child that doesn’t follow instructions like the rest of the class.
School aside, at home my son is very emotional. He will get upset and cry about seemingly trivial things like his colouring sheet got crumpled or he isn’t using the right cup or bowl. We try to tell him it’s ok but he gets in such a mess sometimes that we try to fix or let him have what he wants. I don’t know if that fuels his behaviour. It’s like the end of the world sometimes. He find it hard to regulate his emotions.
When he had something on his mind, whether he’s playing with something, or wants to do something, he just can’t bring himself to stop what he’s doing and listen/follow any other instruction. I see this at home and I know this is reflected at school. It’s like he has a one track mind and has no self control. He absolutely has to finish what he’s doing.
I just don’t know if this is the kind of behaviour that needs addressing professionally? Or is this normal? I keep hoping he will grow out of it. I also wonder if we his parents are doing something wrong.
Does anyone have any advice? I wonder whether we need a super nanny type person to come and help my family? Or is this potentially more serious?
Any help would be much appreciated