how do you make friends when you're studying?

[beansmum]

I have no time to make friends! I'm at uni full time and in my breaks I'm either feeding bean or studying (or on MN). I went to a mum and baby group for a while but it's during the week so can't go anymore. I feel really isolated, can't go out drinking with classmates and don't know any mums.

Any ideas?

Hi Beansmum

Can you not go out with your classmates because of feeding? If any of them live close perhaps you could invite them over. I'm sure they'd understand.

Can't think of anything else at the mo but will try. I do understand it must be a difficult situation. Do you have any pre-uni friends nearby or have you moved to go to uni?

RD xxx

i took a year out so all my friends have graduated now and moved away, the few that are still nearby are busy adjusting to work and being all grown up and I haven't seen them in ages.

I can't go out in the evenings because there is noone to look after bean, so even if I wasn't feeding i'd still have to stay home.

I'm going to see if I can find out if there are any other student mums at uni, i'm sure there must be. Maybe I could start some kind of lunch group or something

that sounds like a great idea. I'm a 2nd year and I had some time out yesterday to have my DS and so now I'm back with all strange people who have been together for a year so I know how you feel. It's horrid sitting there with no-one to talk to!! My saving grace has been finding another student mom on my course. We don't have time to see each other out side of uni but at least we have someone to talk to in lectures, have a coffee with, etc and it's someone who understands your situation.

How old is Bean?

OMG totally lost my brain...yesterday - I meant last year the birth took longer than yesterday by itself!

had some time out yesterday? that was quick!

bean is 22wks

does the uni have a creche? if that's where bean is at least you have an easy way of spotting the other moms.

the nursery I use is on campus but it's not run by the uni and i haven't spotted any students yet, some lecturers though.

I don't really know how to go about finding other student mums, any ideas? If there was a lunchtime group for parents would you go? Still think it would be a good idea to start one.

Place an add at the nursery board, that may help. Alternatively you can visit the student union to see if there are any student parent organisations.

BTW, I have also found the experience of studying very isolating. I think that many of the friendship done at the university come from spending a great amount of time in company of the same people but if you are not living in the University or don't have time to hang around at cafeterias it is a bit more difficult, specially because you only see the people few hours a week. But try to find a parent group, I'm sure there should be one, and you will find that is easier to engage with somebody who has similar experiences to the one you have that trying to understand why all those things that seemed so attractive before children seem a bit silly once you have your little family (change of priorities, I guess)

hi beansmum - how's it going?

by chance I got talking to someone on my course who has kids and is in a similar position to me. It is really helping as it's nice to have someone to moan to about lack of time, fitting everything in, stress of kids and studying, etc, etc...

hope you've found some other student parents to socialise with. the lunch group sounded like a really good idea. any success?