Ex want to take daughter in a day trip but he doesn't pay maintenance consistently

[Snowball21]

Hi,
My ex didn't pay anything towards our two teens for the first year when we split. Nor did he communicate with them.
Now, 1.5 years on, he's moved nearby and does take my DD out for a few hours sometimes on a weekend (my DS doesn't want to know him) and I would never stop that.

But... he has a full time job but still doesn't consistently pay maintenance each month, I'm usually left paying all bills, train fare, school dinners, clothing etc.
Today he turned up to pick her up in a new designer jacket, he got paid end of April but has sent nothing to me and Im sick of asking him about it.
Now he wants to take her down to England to visit his parents (who don't bother trying to have a relationship with the kids and haven't seen them for years), I feel I don't want to let this happen given all these circumstances. Am I being unreasonable?

Why are you asking instead of going through CMS?

He's got a normal job? Paye?

Claim child maintenance.

Firstly get your payments sorted through child maintenance. Secondly as your child is a teenager, it should be their decision whether they go or not. It’s not pay per view, you don’t stop the child spending time with them because they haven’t paid you. Saying that, the child may not want to go if they have no relationship with that side of the family.

Agree with pp it's not pay per view, child maintenance isn't him paying to see his child. His relationship with them is a totally separate issue to his relationship with you and paying his child maintenance. If she wants to go then I think she should go, but you also have the right to simultaneously sort out the issue with maintenance, maybe try going through the courts if you've tried speaking to him

I’m actually team ‘has money and doesn’t contribute to his child’ makes him an awful dad so too much contact not actually good for the child. However id let this as long as you know she will be looked after, and say never again if he doesn’t take care of her- decent food, teeth brushed, doesn’t lose all her things. And go through cms for maintenance, why on earth havent you done that??
If there’s something she needs you could say sure, I was going to take her coat shopping as she needs one, if you could get one while you are in town x that would be good thanks.

I have contacted child maintenance several times telling them about his job, who he works for, the address etc but they always sent me a letter saying he has to pay just £7 pw. That was the amount they set when he was unemployed 2 years ago and despite me constantly telling them he's working they won't change the amount. I don't see the point of escalating to the next step for £7 pw.
I don't stop her seeing her Dad, as I said he picks her up for an hour or so most Saturdays, I also said I wouldn't stop that.