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Original poster

DD starting nursery at 5 months

13 replies

Sunshine1996 · 06/05/2021 10:22

I’ve had a lot of judgement but due to finances DD will be starting nursery next month, she’ll be just over 5 months old. I’ll only be in work part time, DD will be with MIL one day and the other 2 days will be at nursery. Feeling like such an awful mum just due to comments ‘I could never do that’ 😞 anyone had any experience and did your child settle quickly at that age?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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hulahoopqueen · 06/05/2021 10:27

I think that if it's the right thing for your family, then no one else's opinion is relevant at all! You've clearly put the thought into it, you'll see her at least 3-4 days/week from what you've said, I think if it's right for you then good for you!

cannotdothis1 · 06/05/2021 10:30

My first baby started nursery at 5 months old... I had a lot of judgement to BUT it was absolutely fine; she napped through most of it! She has had no attachment issues and just accepted it tbh. You have to do what is right for them; the baby needs you to earn money to keep a roof over its head. It is worse for you then it is for them, you have to do what's right for your family

Vicky1989x · 06/05/2021 10:55

Ignore everyone’s comments. They aren’t in the same situation as you and I’m sure it’s not been an easy decision. Your DD will love it, I’m sure.

Tbh, they’re most likely to settle quicker at that age as separation anxiety hasn’t kicked in yet.

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3-6 months old Babies & sleep Childcare & nursery Families

FTEngineerM · 06/05/2021 10:57

There would be judgement whenever you did it.

If it helps, we started 2 days a week at 8 months now he’s on 3 days a week (and one at MIL) at 10.5 months and we still get comments.

Smile, move on the conversation and remember literally nobody will give a shit or even ask you about this in a few years time.

CMOTDibbler · 06/05/2021 11:03

My son went to nursery full time at 4.5 months. No problems settling in, he loved his nursery carers (very stable staffing) and it seemed like it was easier on him than starting later when they are in the throes of separation anxiety. I've never had any regrets

Lysistratathereindeer · 06/05/2021 11:06

DD started at four months: I refuse to feel guilty for wanting to keep a roof over her head. I've had plenty of judgment for it though, loads of lovely comments from random mums in the nursery queue. Just ignore. As PP said, you'll be judged whatever you do.

RJnomore1 · 06/05/2021 11:08

I did, almost identical to you. She’s 16 now and a lovely happy secure girl who we Jane a fantastic relationship with. Find a nursery you are confident in and ignore the naysayers.

bunglebee · 06/05/2021 11:08

My friend in Paris only got 4 months of maternity leave each time, like pretty much all French women. Both of her DC had to go to nursery full time after that. I haven't noticed that the French are an entire nation of damaged psychopaths, have you?

RJnomore1 · 06/05/2021 11:09

Jane? Have!

Ohpulltheotherone · 06/05/2021 11:15

Your baby will be absolutely fine OP!

No one but you gets to decide what is best for your family and no one has the right to make you doubt your decisions or feel guilty.

You are being an amazing mum by putting aside your mum guilt to go back to work and support your family, having a stable financial income is SO important for both you and your baby.

Both of mine went to nursery young and both are now full time even though I could possibly manage on less hours. Both absolutely love it. Love their friends and enjoy all the activities.

I am giving them a solid start and a stable home life and I will never feel guilt for that and never should you. And anyone who even hints at it needs to be told straight to FO.

Ohpulltheotherone · 06/05/2021 11:17

@FTEngineerM

There would be judgement whenever you did it.

If it helps, we started 2 days a week at 8 months now he’s on 3 days a week (and one at MIL) at 10.5 months and we still get comments.

Smile, move on the conversation and remember literally nobody will give a shit or even ask you about this in a few years time.

You’re a nicer person than I because I certainly wouldn’t smile at a judgmental, derogative comment about my parenting or love for my children.

They’d be told in short sharp fashion to wind their neck in. Then I’d smile and move on

Fitforforty · 06/05/2021 11:47

DD1 started later and little many children struggled because it was during the stage when they experience separation anxiety.

ShadierThanaPalmTree · 06/05/2021 12:27

I genuinely believe nursery is really good for babies. The social aspect of it, with other children and adults is excellent. Babies who go to nursery young often develop faster than those who don't because they learn from each other. Plus, what a great example you are setting to your little one, don't feel bad op, you are doing what is best for your circumstances.

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