Transition from cot to bed

[SpacePug]

DS is almost 2.5. we got him a bed, set it up in his room. I hoped we could do it slowly, him getting used to it being there and eventually try him in it. Oh no, soon as he saw it , he cried when we put him to bed in his cot that night pointing at the bed. Okay, so we tired him in the bed. First night (had nap in the day in cot) went great, I read books, then sat next to him for an hour until he fell asleep, he stayed in bed til 7am. Great.
Ever since then it's been a nightmare. Second night (no nap during day), tried the bed again, I sat 1.5hours with him, he was getting up, messing about, so I put him in the cot. He was so tired he just fell straight to sleep. Third night (no nap again) straight in the cot, he cried and wouldn't sleep for ages but eventually went to sleep after we kept popping in and out. Today is the fourth day. I've put him down for a nap, thinking maybe skipping the nap is affecting him going to bed. I tried him in the cot, he began crying and shouting, so decided to try him in the bed. Didn't work, him getting out constantly is a fun game to him, so back in the cot and he's now gone to sleep.
So how do I progress from here? Part of me thinks get rid of the bed for now.
But normally 6 out of 7 nights he used to go to bed brill, we would put him in cot awake and leave him and he would go off to sleep no fuss. Usually once a week he might fuss where he wants to stay up late.

So what do I do now. Try with the bed tonight or just put him in the cot? I know he will cry in there and ask for the bed. We have a 4month old baby who we will want the cot for in a few months, plus it means I can't spend an hour+ sat next to him during the day to get him to nap as baby needs me. Not sure how to do this. Any advice?

Sounds like you need to be consistent.

Tell him that the cot is for the baby, he is a big boy now etc. Let him choose some new bedding for his bed.

Don't let him back in the cot, you need to persevere with putting him in the bed and keep putting him back in when he gets up. Don't engage with him other than "it's time for sleep." - and back under his blanket or whatever. It turns into a game but they soon realise that they won't get attention and you'll just keep putting him back.

I think you need to decide which to stick with. I had a similar idea of having the bed up for a bit, as my son had napped in his sister’s bed no problem, but also leaving the cot in the room as well, as a backup. I quickly decided it was best to dismantle the cot as it was confusing him for it to be there but for him to be put in the bed. If you need to cot in 4 months then maybe it’s best to go through the adjustment to the bed now, rather than when you have a newborn. It was quite a disruptive one for my son. He was so fine having naps in a bed that I thought it would be a breeze, but he obviously found the transition at night unsettling. We had a few weeks of disrupted nights. He went down ok but lots of waking and needing reassurance. But he got used to it.

I think you're right re needing to decide and continue with either bed or cot. He wants to be in the bed but apart from the first night he doesn't want to settle down and lay there even with one of us sat beside him. He has had a nap today so maybe will sleep better tonight 🤞 so I think I might try the bed and persevere as long as it takes, must be less confusing to him than being switched between both

Also the baby is already 3.5 months, sorry for the confusion there! But as well as needing the cot in a few months it's going to be easier doing this while I'm on maternity leave

He won't stay in bed is the problem, the night he fell asleep with me beside him he slept til morning, but since then getting him to stay put is impossible. See what tonight brings 🤞

Not quite at this point myself yet (DS nearly 2 1/2 so probably this summer) but I've watched lots of Supernanny episodes! One message always seems to be make it unexciting if they do get up having put them down for the night. So no talking or reacting, maybe just a "sleep time now" the first few times and put them straight back down. Then you can do a tactical retreat, so every night be a bit further from the bed until you're out the door and they're not getting up.

This is what I'm planning on trying, anyway!

I was horrified when my daughter climbed out of her cot 2 weeks before she turned two! So we had to get a toddler bed. It’s been a smooth transition so I’ll share what’s worked for us:
Got rid of the cot completely, bye bye cot!
Let her picI her own bedding and get excited about the big girls bed.
Got a small toddler sized bed so she didn’t feel too swamped
Made the room really really dark so if she does wake up she can’t see any of her toys anyway!
We stay with her until she falls asleep but she does stay in the bed. I’m not sure what the advice would be if he keeps getting out.
Good luck!

Had a little more success last night! Whether him having a nap in the day helped, I'm not sure. He asked to go to bed, so took him up, tucked him in, read his book each time he asked (same book 6 times) he stayed in bed, I sat next to him and it took 1.5 hours for him to fall asleep. He woke at 1am asking for dummy, but he didn't get up, I gave him it and left straight away and he went back to sleep and got up at 7.
I'm hoping i won't have to sit with him til he goes to sleep forever, and can eventually leave him. I like the supernanny suggestion, I'll look that up. So now I'm thinking, how do I do his nap today, might not be able to sit with him for all that time as have baby to look after too

He's napping....in his bed...after only 20mins of me sitting there!! 🥳🥳

Unless he's climbing out of the cot, I'd keep him in there for now, even if you have to get a secondhand additional cot for when your baby is in there. You can get them for peanuts secondhand and you'd probably be buying a new mattress anyway?

I never managed to get DD to nap once she had her bed, she'd only sleep if she was in the car or pram.