I feel like the worst mum

[AhaShakeHeartbreak12]

My 18 month old threw up a significant amount in his cot last night.

He had a cold, had a cough and I'd settled him to sleep and placed him in his cot at 7:45pm

At 9:30pm I heard a cough, checked the monitor and noticed he moved slightly in his cot but was asleep and I heard him breathing. I did think the cough sounded chesty but nothing looked out of the ordinary.

I wish I'd gone in and physically checked, he slept in his sick. He must've strained himself coughing and got sick and I couldn't hear it

I've not stopped crying all morning, I'm currently sat with him snuggled into me napping but i feel so horrendously guilty I can't believe I didn't just go in and check him in person instead of looking on the monitor.

He's got loose nappies but seems fine himself, I just feel like I've neglected him. I genuinely had no idea he'd been sick but I should of gone In

I don't even know why I'm posting, I just feel terrible and I'm so sad. He didn't cry out or sit up or anything, I feel like I've scarred him for life now I'm paranoid that it'll happen again and I won't hear him

Don’t feel terrible, I would have done the same as I assume if there’s an issue my kids would cry or shout.

Hope he feels better soon.

I found my kids had been sick during the night a few times when they were babies (they were remarkably good at going to sleep afterwards) and I promise you they are not scarred by it in any way.

'Neglect' is a huge word to be using, and not checking on your baby on at every little sound (and you did check anyway, on the monitor) is not 'neglect', it's frankly looking after yourself and your sanity, which is totally what you should do as a parent.

It sounds like he just went back to sleep, if he was distressed by it he would have cried and made a fuss, but he wasn't. Please don't feel bad - a baby doesn't know there's anything 'wrong' with sleeping in sick, they're not going to hold it against you!

You're not going to make yourself any 'better' a parent by feeling guilty or feeling you have to check in at the slightest thing, your baby trusts you and feels safe with you.

He would have been crying and awake if he was uncomfortable. Don't beat yourself up about it. Child will not be bothered about this.

Crying all morning is a bit extreme, might be worth looking into some help with your own mental health. You are certainly not a bad mum.

My second did this once, was sick and I could tell it had happened several hours ago when I went in to her. It’s hard to imagine for us as we feel so sorry for ourselves when vomity! But having seen a few bouts of vomiting in kids over the years, they just get on with it and play in between, eat if they feel like it, it often just doesn’t seem that big a deal to them. Not sure if that’s helpful but just to highlight that he will not have been lying there feeling awful but not telling you - probably just settled because he wanted to.

I think my hormones are making me a lot more sensitive to it, I'm 6 months pregnant and usually quite practical but I'm just overwhelmed by guilt. He was so smiley when I went in and seen he'd been sick, it was as if nothing had happened. I just cry at the thought of him sleeping in it and being confused or something or needing me.

Then my logic sets in and I know he's good at alerting me if he needs me, the night before he shouted mum because he woke up and wanted a cuddle, but I just feel so guilty

It's the first time he's ever been sick too, as in proper sick and not baby sick of that even makes sense

@Sally872 my hormones are all over the place today, I'm pregnant which doesn't help. I usually am practical but I just feel awful

Thank you for the lovely replies, I have no one really to talk to about it and I know I'm probably overreacting I just feel really emotional

You're over tired and catastrophising

Your baby probably had no idea he'd been sick and doesn't give a monkeys that he slept in it! It won't have done him any harm at all. You checked he was safe, he wasn't crying or distressed.

Be a bit kinder to yourself.

I once didn't notice DS had a nosebleed in the night despite going in to check on him. It was like a blood bath the next morning.

Aww, pregnancy plus the first ever ‘real sick’ I think are both grounds for feeling over emotional about this. Don’t be hard on yourself for that. Hope he keeps well and you have some cake handy.

This happened with my first once, I felt exactly the same as you. He's now coming up 14 and I think I can say with some certainty that he has no lasting trauma from this event - he's always been the sort who can sleep through an earthquake if that helps! Don't beat yourself up OP, enjoy your day with your lovely boy. Hope he feels better soon