PLEASE somone tell me it's possible to bring up a whole heap o'kids on your own and survive?

[itsazoohere]

Because I'm terrified. I'm not looking for sympathy (well maybe just a tiny bit) but I do need to hear that it's not the end of the world to be suddenly single?

I don't want to say too much, but it is possible yes, and in fact it can be very very rewarding doing it yourself!

Hold your head high, take a deep breath and accept that things will be zoo like! Revel in it rather than fighting it and ask for help when you need it!

Can I ask what has happened or would you rather not say? Either way Ihope things go well for you

I've been on my own before, but that was just with two dds. I'm now facing having a baby in may when my littlest will be only 15 months. DP's gone, and I can't take him back (not that he wants to return anyway). It's things like the breakfast/school runs I find daunting. We used to have a good routine-he did the breakfast and animals, I made sure the girls were up and dressed and dealt with the baby. Plus he worked evenings (pub work) so I was spoilt with help with housework. And he cooked!
Can't even begin to get upset at relationship ending, am just so scared at thought of getting more pg whilst looking after others (especially baby) on my own.

I did it with four - the youngest was under one when I left him.

Far far easier alone and happy than with an unreliable miserable sod!

You will cope just fine. What are the ages of the older children?

Yes, it sounds daunting. I can understand you being worried!

All I can say is that you will cope, the little ones will be hard, but they are not that little for long. Are your dds old enough to help? If they are old enough sit doan and explain that you are going to need help and that teamwork is going to be a big thing! Get them to do things for themselves. Give them jobs they will find fun to help you withthe little ones - picking out clothes to help with mornings, encourage them to all clean their teeth together so they can help the littlie whilst you sort out the baby....

Above all don't get tied up with feeling that everything has to be done at a certain time, it is not important whenthe ironing is done (in fact you would be surprised how litle you really ned to iron!) Children can clear their own plates and scrape them. Older children can play with younger ones to keep them amused whilst you make tea. Make sure they do their share of feeding animals etc.

Anyway, I am not sure if you are ready for this kins of advice yet, I hope it is of some help? I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation, it sounds like a lot has gone on and you will need to deal with this at some point. Make sure you have someone to talk to if atall possible!

Phew that was a marathon - sorry for rambling

12 and 7. And they are lovely (most of the time!), adore there baby sister and thrilled at the thought of another. I know I'll cope, because I HAVE to. I guess I'm just tired and emotional. Like everyone, I hoped for happy ever after. I hate the thought of this new baby not ever getting the mum/dad combo it deserves.

I can so relate to the baby thing, felt so gutted when I was pregnant about that... but you will overcome that feeling and actually I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how straightforward family life is without a bad relationship going on at the same time.
Good luck

Unfortunately, relationship was great (most of the time), so can't be relieved it's over. But am trying to stop being so hormotional. Whilst distracted on mn, 9 month old found chocolate hobnob under sofa and is now covered! Looks so sweet though. Made me laugh rather than cry.
Thanks for all the kind words, you've all really helped.

Oh I see... sorry that must make it harder. But I still think it won't be as hard as you fear, the older ones will love it and you will be so experienced at motherhood I am sure it will be a breeze ( well as near as possible...)
I a single parent to one child and virtually every day I wish I had stayed with my ex for longer to have more!

It is possible I did it with 2 and was pregnant with he third .
Hope you are ok x

And the 12 year old will help out loads - my 12 year old is excited about the baby coming in May and is really grown up about giving me a hand. We were on our own for the first 2 years, and it wasn't the lack of father I worried about, but the lack of children - I tried to make sure he had opportunity to mix with other kids. Yours will all have each other and you'll be such a strong family.
xxx

Thank you all! Feel much better today. Notjustmum has it spot on with reason we give birth. Me and my girls are all strong, we have all been here before (not that I'm proud about that) but I know we can cope. I think I was just very wobbly-I'm sure I'll be like that again before the baby arrives! As long as we're together, we'll be fine. And I have mumsnet! I can even do the labour on my own-babyzoo was born with the support of mumsnet. The midwives may have only just reached me in time, but I was mumsneting all the way through!

My mum brought up us 4 (me 10 others 9,5,3) at the time of divorce. I think two of the most important things she did was...to always be consistent. If she said we were going home if we don't shut up in the car we did. She never made promises she couldn't keep...even the punishment ones . So we listened when she talked. The other was to make sure she looked after herself too. This unfortunately only happened when a friend told her she deserved a life too. I remember helping out a lot and not resenting it because i love my mum and siblings. We laughed a lot and didn't care too much about housekeeping and stuff.

I think it is better (perhaps even easier) with more children rather than less. We did tend to look after each other emotionally which an only child can't

Good luck

My mum brought us up (4 of us) on her own after the divorce. Also, she got virtually no help before the divorce from my dad so it wasn't that different! You WILL be OK!