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People pressuring me to have another baby

34 replies

AnimeChic · 01/05/2021 09:13

I keep getting told I should have another child and its selfish of me to not give my daughter a sibling. Truth is I don't want another child,my pregnancy was horrific I was in alot of pain and I have mental health problems.

The birth was also traumatic and for months afterwards my depression was really bad. Shes 5 months old now and things are just starting to get a little easier. I love my daughter to death and I couldn't live without her but she's enough for me and having another child I know I couldn't cope.

How do I stop myself feeling guilty for not giving her a sibling?

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BingBunnyIsAnnoying · 01/05/2021 10:12

Tell them to mind their own bloody business

Notaroadrunner · 01/05/2021 10:19

Your sister has a 10 year old and a 10 month old and is telling you to have another one after only 5 months of you giving birth? Tell her to sod off. You do realise it's not up to your family to decide how many kids you have - it's up to you and your partner.

Howshouldibehave · 01/05/2021 10:22

Who keeps asking you?!

This certainly isn’t something I experienced. I was just about finding my feet when DC1 was 5 months-I would have been bemused and told them so if someone told me I was being selfish by not giving them a sibling.

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Moomin12345 · 01/05/2021 14:31

Tell them to butt out. It's that simple. Unless you prefer pandering to the popular opinion and keep having babies until everyone approves of your reproductive choices. But then you'll hear you've wrecked the planet and contributed to overpopulation.

HolmeH · 02/05/2021 10:21

What a weird thing to say when your baby is 5 months old.. I ademantly did not want another child for two years after my first. Then I changed my mind as life gets easier out of the new baby phase (in my opinion). Who knows how you’ll feel in a couple years time but that is entirely your decision & no-one else’s. You don’t have to decide now that you’ll def have another one, you can have one on a whim anytime you like (fertility pending). Why not just tell them ‘oh very funny, I’ve got a tiny baby, def no more for now, this one needs to be sleep & be potty trained first but who knows in the future’ .. will that shut them up? And then if you don’t have any in the future, we’ll that’s just fine. It’s not always that easy to just get pregnant for everyone, tell them it’s rude to ask. They’ve no idea what you might be going through.

I’m an only child, admittedly I hate it now as an adult. But I had a wonderful childhood & I don’t begrudge my parents, they simply couldn’t afford more than one.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 02/05/2021 10:23

I do wish "people" would mind their own goddamn business.
Its entirely up to you how many kids you have. i have just the one and we're both very happy with that. He's 40 now.

Anonymum30 · 02/05/2021 18:04

I think we can feel guilty for pretty much any major decision we have to make as parents, which just shows how much we care and want to do the right thing. I'm pregnant with my second child and already feeling guilty that I won't be able to give my son as much attention once our baby is born/ that our baby won't have as much of my undivided attention as my son did etc etc. You've had a tough time of it, go easy on yourself and one day you might feel that you want another child or you might not, and either is ok.

Tambora · 02/05/2021 18:07

Who are these people?

Susie477 · 02/05/2021 18:21

When people mention having another child, just shut the discussion down, immediately and firmly. You are not the one being rude; they are, for not minding their own business in the first place.

If you do it properly, you will only need to do it once. It will sting a bit the first time, both for you and the person on the receiving end, but believe me it gets easier with practice. Wink

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