Is my child expressing their feelings? How does yours?

[Mumcjw119]

I have a three year old boy who keeps throwing tantrums and I'm worried he is not able to express his feelings properly..

How can you judge how well your child expresses their feelings?
Do you ask them how they are feeling often? What is the best way you do this?

Help!!!

well, don't ask them, they won't be able to tell you.

Model it for them.
So, I want a banana, bananas have run out. throws themselves on the floor.
You model for them. (well, when they aren't screaming)
I'm sorry there are no bananas. You wanted one and it made you sad that there weren't any. It made you feel cross inside.

Accidentally knocked over something they have made/built.
You model - you spent ages building that tower and no it is broken. That is frustrating isn't it, it makes you feel cross because you spent so much time making it. .

Acknowledge feelings. Helping them to verbalise feelings, sitting with them while they express feelings.

On the other hand, it is fine for them to feel angry and when they are angry, if they want to shout and drum their heels on the floor, fine. But you don;t have to sit there, you can leave them to it, and say - when you are ready, I'll be in the kitchen, - and walk away and let them finish having a tantrum, and then when they are ready they will come and find you

A tantrum is an expression of feeling
They three years old
Put yourself as a three year old
What language do you have?
What ways do you have to express your feelings?
What have you been shown by mum dad or peers ?

Try flashcards with feelings and apps like apps.apple.com/us/app/itouchilearn-feelings-for-preschool-kids-free/id495848904

Talk when calm at her level
Role play with teddies and dolls

Agree with the role play and modelling. Also, The colour monster by Anna Llenas is a lovely picture book that likens emotions to colours and is accessible to his age to help him begin to learn how to understand his feelings age appropriately.

I think one of the worst things we can do as parents is to try and stop the expression.

So trying to stop the tantrum, teaches them that they are not allowed to feel this strong feeling.
But by saying, you are angry. I think you are angry because you don't want to go to bed. I understand. It is tough to have to stop playing and go to bed. You allow them to feel the emotion and acknowledge it. That in itself is often enough.
If not, then give them some time. I'll give you a few minutes because you are angry, and then we will go to bed.
Then either sit with, and be quiet, or go away for a few minutes, giving them time to express that anger.

I now have 3 teens and I only really got this with my third child when she was 4-5 ish. I so wish I had got it earlier, it would have saved me so much with ds!