If you had a baby/toddler who wasn't very affectionate...

[JustReallyWorried]

...did they become more affectionate over time, and if so when?

My 14 month old DD doesn't really like cuddles and it upsets me a lot! My mum tells me I was the same, yet I'm a very "cuddly" person now, so I'm hoping things will change. Anyone? I absolutely adore my little girl and just want a cuddle. I can't help but feel a bit robbed when I see how my friends' little ones wrap their arms around them

Mine is nearly 3 and a lot more affectionate over the last 6 months or so than before. But still very much on her own terms!! But she will now ask for a cuddle if she's upset, or will sometimes stroke my hair or face or lay on me or kiss me or occasionally cuddle me and put her arms round my neck. Not super frequently but fairly regularly. When she was younger she really wasn't cuddly at all tbh apart from wanting carrying around!

DS1 wasn’t a particularly affectionate baby or toddler but now he loves a cuddle but still not keen on being kissed on the face much or have his head stroked etc.
DS2 was a cuddly baby, cuddly toddler and now as a 7 year could do nothing but cuddle. Wants to be close to me all the time, wants to hold my hand etc, wants me to scratch his back, stroke his hair would have his face kissed all day (I could go on but you get the picture).

DS1 wants to sit next to me on the couch and will cuddle in but gets overheated and doesn’t enjoy being restricted as much.

Is she very independent and active OP? My dd1 was exactly the same at that age. She just wanted to be on the go all the time, doing her own thing. If we wanted a cuddle, we'd have to make it into a game! It definitely changed as she got older. I can't remember at exactly what age it started to change, but she had definitely become much more affectionate by 3 years old. She developed separation at that age too, whereas previously she was unbelievably confident and sociable and would walk into a room full of strangers without a backward glance at me!

Yes, she's constantly on the go @Somethingsnappy! It's like she's too busy to bother with us And like your DD she is surprisingly confident with other people, despite not seeing many due to lockdowns etc.

Thanks everyone, I am now hopeful that I will get my cuddles at some point

My son was like this, didn't really like cuddles or sitting on laps. Even as a baby he didn't like to be held or rocked to sleep and preferred to lie by himself. Around age 2.5 he became very affectionate though.

My eldest has always been cuddly, but my younger son has only become more cuddly since about 4. Too busy trying to work out how to move (and move fast) until that point.

Are you still around OP? How is your DD now?

I'm having a similar "issue" with my 18m toddler too and feel exactly the same as you did. He does like to be held to e.g. look at something (planes/trees/food being prepared) but, apart from his nap time routine, he doesn't like to be cuddled. Very very rarely he might give us a two-second cuddle but then he's off again. He will laugh and play with us though. The only time when he will cuddle and cling really firmly to us is when he's scared or shy (i.e. at the doctor's or when meeting new people). Obviously I literally shower him with my own affection and lots of kisses, but usually I'm just being pushed away.

It just makes me feel so sad. I love him so much, constantly think about things he'd like, but I don't feel like I'm getting much back. It breaks my heart. Recently I've noticed I'm even trying to avoid saying "no" to him in fear that it will make him want to hug me even less. It's bonkers.

I know he doesn't get it, I obviously don't expect him to, but I wonder if anyone has been through something similar and it got better?

My 4 year old DS is super affectionate. It wasn’t until he turned 3 that I started getting the snuggles from him. He was a wild toddler before then.

Oh wow, thank you for replying! I'm glad you said it was only at the age of 3 that he started to snuggle. So perhaps there's hope for me 🙈

But in the meantime, did you continue to give him your snuggles/kisses to the same extent or did you back off and wait till he became more snuggly himself?