Angry 11 yr old

[Deedee121]

I'm finding my 11yr old very hard work at the moment. He has always been highly strung and hates unexpected change.

He is a sociable boy and we get excellent school reports saying he is clever, popular, gentle etc. He is the opposite at home. Cursing, shouting, telling me I sit on my arse all day long (I flipping wish).

I just want to know is this normal. He definitely is addicted to Fortnite and I want to delete it but I've read conflicting advice on deleting it.

I feel so defeated. His sister is 2yrs younger and is so easy to be around. She's no angel either but is manageable

I don't think it's normal for many kids but it's certainly normal for some.

You could be describing my DS. He's 9 and is an absolute horror at home. He swears and whinges and has no interest in anything but fortnite. He coped (or rather didn't cope) when schools closed. I work ft so we often had little option but to stick him on screens.

At school he is bright and engaging, polite and has loads of friends. He's even sensible enough of out the house to get himself to and from school alone.

But at home..... we try everything. Kindness, ignoring, strict discipline. There's no solution. It just washes over him. With the gaming we have strict limits and he loses access for poor behaviour and earns time for good. But h drives DH potty and he's definitely a stick not carrot person whereas I'm more carrot and less stick, which I think must confuse him.

I do think fortnite gives them skills rather than mindlessly watching tv. We are a member of Outschool and occasionally treat DS to a fortnite 'lesson'. In essence that is a safe space where DS and a few other boys play for an hr with a teacher present. It helps them learn control when they lose and the teacher gives feedback. No swearing either. Costs about $12. It's a us site but the teacher is from the uk. Often on a Saturday night. I'd recommend it as a reward.

No solutions but you are not alone. Dd is 12 and we have a fair share of issues currently but pre puberty she was a dream so I know we're not completely shit parents!

Thank you so much for replying. It can feel quite lonely when your child acts like this. I know I was quite highly strung when I was younger and was the perfect student in school. I've turned out okay so maybe there is hope for him.