2 nearly 3 year old outbursts

[Mummaof3boys30]

I’m lookin for a little advise, so a little back story my youngest is 2..3 in September as a baby he never settled rarely slept an when he cried it was more of a scream than a cry anyway fast forward he’s a great talker better than my 4 year old but he seems to go from one extreme to the other for as long as I can remember, he still rarely sleeps I’m lucky if he’s asleep before 10pm each night he just bounces/has so much energy he’s constantly on the go and then seems to crash there never seems to be any down time, an he is up at 4am everyday without fail, but my point is he can be happy playing laughing you name it an the next minute he will literally be so angry screaming shouting throwing things attacking people picking things up that he shouldn’t be able to an throwing them sometimes at people, if you remove him from the situation he will keep going back regardless until finally he quits, anything simple from wanting to sit in a certain seat to him putting a toy down an someone else picking it up can set him off, if he gets wet an you don’t remove his clothing can set him off His brothers are the complete opposite, I was just wondering if there are others that are going or have been through something similar an could offer a little advise because I’m at my wits end timeouts don’t work I’m very firm with him during these episodes so not sure what more I can do please help a mumma out!
I do apologise for waffling on lol

That was a bit of a difficult read without sentences. Can I just check - your son goes to sleep after 10 at night and is up at 4 in the morning and has tantrums? Does he nap at all?

Tantrums are completely normal for toddlers and if he is over tired they are much more likely. What is your bedtime routine like? What happens when he wakes through the night? I have a really gentle approach to sleep but @FATEdestiny has a stricter approach which maybe more useful. HV can be really helpful too with sleep issues.

The book how to talk so little children listen is helpful with tantrums but ultimately they happen when little children become overwhelmed with their emotions and their lack of logic means you can’t reason with them. I really think focusing on sleep should be your first step.

Is he constipated?
In pain?
Sensitive to textures ?
Can he communicate well?
All behaviour is communication suddenly acting out for apparently no reason might be there is a reason such as stomach pains?
Try to record exactly when and how this occurs
What does hv say?
Does he go to nursery?

Ok if hes only going to bed from 10pm till 4am that is not enough sleep for a 2 or 3 year old. Hes most likely chronically overtired. I think you need some help with this routine and behaviour, it sounds beyond what's 'normal'..but I'm not a professional.

Overtiredness is the problem. Do you have any sure fire ways of getting him to sleep? Eg driving? For a few days maybe take him out driving at 6pm and when he is thoroughly asleep take him home and put him to bed. After a couple of nights of proper sleep he might be able to be put to bed normally. If you can't get him to sleep driving or any other way could be worth seeing a GP.