ASD/Aspergers? Girl-5

[Mumkay1995]

Can anyone give me some advise about my daughter. She is 5 and waiting for an assessment for her mental health due to anxiety, but I believe her behaviours indicate more than just anxiety. I don't want to self diagnose her, but I've been told by a health visitor she sounds like she is very sensory orientated due to some habits of hers. Has anyone else's daughters around 5 been diagnosed? What were your signs? Now we are on the list I feel I'm finally being listened to, but I feel awful exploring this avenue out of fear of judgement :(

I'm sorry you've not had any replies. If you post in the SN section you might get a few replies from the lovely MNers in there

Fear of judgement by whom?

I'm autistic and would have been autistic at 5 but it wasn't picked up until I was an adult so you're doing a great thing by exploring all the options. Anxiety is easier to see by people who look for mental health issues but looking at what might be underlying the anxiety, takes someone who knows what to look for. Is it CAMHS who will be assessing her? Might be worth mentioning autism before you get to the assessment so they can send you the relevant screening forms.

My son is 3 and has an ASD diagnosis. I’m happy for you to message me with any questions.

My dd1 was diagnosed when she was 3/4, her main symptoms were anxiety and phobias, mainly her phobia of women and water. She was a poor sleeper, a unsettled baby, could make her self sick if she didn’t get her own way and had many sensory issues with clothes, food and touch.

Please don't feel awful about trying to get to the bottom of your daughter's anxiety. If she has ASD (or any other diagnosis) then it is better to know so you can support her in the right way, remember any diagnosis is as much a signpost as a label. Outcomes are so much better when you, schools etc. and above all else your daughter can understand what is driving her anxiety.

Regards judgement, as a mother of more than one child with ASD, I honestly don't give it much thought. I assume ignorance if I or my children are judged.

The landscape and understanding of ASD, particularly in girls, is changing very very quickly though and there is much much more understanding than there was even a couple of years ago.

However, I do understand that there is a process to accepting a diagnosis (if you get one) which has positives and negatives and makes one confront one's own ideas of SN etc. so be kind to yourself and recognise you are being brave for putting your daughter's needs before everything else.

Dd2 was diagnosed age 3. I knew from very early on that she was different. Tbh, autism wasn't on my radar as I wrongly assumed that autism predominantly affected boys.... I'm a whole lot more clued up now!
For all I knew something was different it was easier to get on the diagnosis road once nursery started to flag things up too.
She had Al sorts of sensory issues, repetitive behaviours limited vocabulary, echolalia and pica(hair raising on a few occasions). Sleep was a nightmare and the one I'm most grateful for only being a phase was poo smearing.
Children and people who are asc are amazing. Wherever they are on the spectrum they all deserve our patience and attempts to understand.

How is she with other children? My dd was diagnosed with ASD at 8 but I already had concerns at 5. At that point, she was still playing alongside the other children rather than beginning to develop friendships. She was 7 before she really started playing with others and even then she would only play if they were playing what she wanted.

She would also get obsessive over things (but nothing unusual - it was things like Disney princesses but more intense than most children). Her obsessions didn't last long though.

Her eye contact was also poor and she didn't pick up on social rules naturally. We would constantly have to tell her to say hello and goodbye to people. She would answer questions (when relatives tried to talk to her) but wouldn't even turn in the direction of the person and gave one or two word answers.

I hope you get the help you are looking for. My experience is that the diagnosis process is variable depending on area. I teach in one area and I don't think my dd's impairments would have been severe enough for a diagnosis there as they seem to have to have significant challenges before a diagnosis is given (and ASD girls often don't cause problems at school). We lived in a neighbouring area and the diagnosis team were really on the ball and knew a lot about how girls with ASD present differently.

Make sure you write down any traits you are concerned about before you go to any meetings. I kept kicking myself after meetings because I'd forgotten something.

And apologies to my dd - I wrote ASD not ASC. She prefers ASC as she doesn't like the idea of having a disorder.