10 year old poor attitude at school

[33goingon64]

My 10 yo DS has fairly consistently had reports from teachers about his poor attitude to independent work in class (since year 2). The latest revelation is that his teacher has been keeping him in for 5 mins every break time to finish his work, she has moved him to the desk in front of her and it has made no difference. When she raises it with him and he really tries to improve he can do it but then it slips back.

He is bright and academically pretty capable, I would say middle of the class. He's articulate and emotionally intelligent and quick at maths and understanding. He will join in class discussions. During home learning he applied himself well (again, my estimate would be middle ranking in terms of how hard he worked and how much work he produced). his teacher praises him for his imagination, good vocab, maths skills etc, so she's not being unfair.

At home he's quite dreamy, often needs asking several times to do things and forgets when we ask him to do things a certain way - but I thought that was pretty standard for a 10 yo (especially a boy).

I don't know of any issues worrying him - I'm pretty sure he would tell me. he has a few really good friends and likes his teacher.

I suppose I wonder how worried I should be - this has been a recurring theme for the last 4 years. Anyone with similar experience who'd be willing to share?

Anyone?

Have you tried talking to him about why he's not doing his work?

My 6 year old used to struggle getting on with work but her teacher realised the problem was that she found it difficult to follow group instructions. Now she is given them one on one after the instructions have been given to the whole class. Her teacher has worked with senco to find some other techniques to help her too, school have been great.

Hi. This sounds a lot like my son, 8 years ago when he was 10....(he does have ADHD but didn't require specialist support. Instead I think he just zoned out a lot.)
We tried a therapist for awhile, she was good, and helped reassure us that there were no major problems, but ultimately, it really came down to his personality. He never liked academic work, the school day just never excited him. The school he is was big and bustling, easy to get 'lost' in, and he just never felt a part of it. We debated switching schools, but ultimately he didn't want to go through meeting new friends all over again, (not that he had close friendships where he was.)
In retrospect, I think it would've done him good. In the end we did have to get a tutor before the GCSE's for some 1:1 support, and he passed all but one of his 10 GCSE's with c/b's and moved on to a college where it was smaller and more hands-on, active/outdoors. He seems much happier now, but certainly never as driven or motivated in his studies as I hoped.

Sometimes it is important to realise that the institution of school is pretty restrictive and just doesn't suit the wide range of personality types and developmental stages that kids go through. You have to think carefully about whether the 'problem' actually needs fixing or, if it even can be fixed with the resources and time you have available.
It is okay to be blunt/honest with your child and explain that not everyone likes school, but that doesn't mean there isn't something in it for him, and that if he is able to focus and work hard, in at least some subjects, then he will have a lot more choices in his own future. He will have more control, which is ultimately what they want, and what we want our kids to have- choice and control over their own futures.
Good luck.

Thanks for replying to this. Yes we've tried talking to him and he just shrugs and says he doesn't know. He did say he gets on with his work when he feels good so when I asked what makes him feel good/not feel good he changed tack and said it was too hard to remember what he had been asked to do... Yes I accept that he may not be fitting into the mould that school expects and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him. We've also said as long as he tries his best 95% of the time he is not expected to be on top form for every lesson every day.

I'm not sure whether to involve external people, therapists etc. It seems a bit heavy handed. Plus I have no idea how long it takes for something like that to happen through school.

I will keep thinking.

Can I ask what you mean about poor attitude?

Is he working too slowly?
Is he chatting to others?
Is he daydreaming?
Is he refusing to work?

Worth asking a GP for a referral, sounds like inattentive ADHD. If he is being kept in at break then there is plenty of motivation for him to do his work sooner so it sounds like he actually can't rather than won't. You could make a massive difference to his life by getting some kind of treatment, if that's what it is.