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Parenting

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Dd (13) being manipulated into a relationship with another girl

1 reply

vestastilly · 27/04/2021 07:25

My DS (15) has told me that my DD has told him that she is a lesbian and has a girlfriend who lives 150miles away. That is absolutely fine with me and I have no issue with it except that I feel 13 may be quite young to draw your line in the sand and the long distance relationship. What concerns me is that the relationship is with the cousin of a girl in DD friendship group who is very manipulative and controlling. There was an online bullying incident earlier this year involving the girl which was dealt with by school and there have been incidents where we have confiscated DD phone for a while as this girl has forced DD to call her and remain on the phone for 4 hours until she decides that DD can put the phone down. The girl was literally just making DD listen to her going about her day and wasn’t talking to DD.
I haven’t told DH about this latest revelation as I know he will hit the wall. I have decided not to mention anything as DS has sworn me to secrecy as he doesn’t want to break DD trust. I should add that DD will go to a new school in September which the girl will not be going to and I strongly suspect she will drop DD like a stone.
What should I do as I am worried that DD may be coerced into taking risks by these girls ? I must reiterate though that I am not concerned about her coming out as a lesbian if she truly is and isn’t just being forced into a decision by this girl.

OP posts:
AIMD · 27/04/2021 13:04

Oh wow that does sound worrying that another person has so much control over her. I don’t have any specific advice but just wanted to say it is understandable You are worried about the relationship given it involves that controlling person.

Is it her being coerced onto online activity you are worried about or will she travel to meet this person?

It’s good that she is talking to her brother, maybe he can keep you quietly in the loop about what’s happening so you can step in if you need to. Presumably you have talked to her about phone issues before given the past incident, I wonder if you could revisit that with her.

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