Paternal grandparents annoyed at me

[MamaOl93]

My son’s paternal grandfather and step-nan.
I asked them if they wanted to meet up outside, they said yes but asked if that meant they had to still socially distance.
I said yes because of the current rules about restrictions but that I was happy for them to cuddle him before the 17th of May if they took a negative lateral flow test on the day.
They’ve now come back saying they feel disappointed and won’t be seeing him as my family can hug him...
But we’re in a bubble!

Also. I kept saying that I was bringing it forward but they don’t want to take lateral flow test before cuddling him.
They’re both super annoyed at me and this is the first time they’ve been this way with me, now I feel like utter... rubbish

I assume you are going to LFT yourself and possibly your baby before their visit as well as you are also a risk to them?

If they are vaccinated and your son is not high risk then it is perfectly safe for them to hug him. Especially outdoors.

We have been covid cautious but following the science. Some of the uk rules seem a little bonkers tbh.

Can't blame them. We aren't bubbled with either set of grandparents but haven't stopped them hugging when we've met up. I'm not stopping toddlers cuddling their grandparents, especially now they are all vaccinated.

[quote MamaOl93]@BrilloSolar I’m just very covid cautious and I haven’t let anyone who isn’t in our household bubble to go near my boy, my nan and gran hasn’t hugged or been near him either, it’s not like I’m singling them out but they’re making it sound like I am 😬 x[/quote]
You can’t compare. Great-grandparents don’t have priority as grandparents. I do think you’ve treated them poorly. Is covid less of a risk if your family passes it on?

Lateral flow tests aren’t reliable.

The grandparents are presumably vaccinated and are therefore less likely to have COVID than you or your son.

Your son is at lower risk than any other demographic in the entire world.

Your own family have been allowed access to their grandchild whilst the paternal family have not.

You are in serious danger of causing a family rift that will never be forgiven.

I’m not surprised they are so upset.Like everyone else has said- there is no magic date that all of a sudden it’s safe to hug!Lots of diseases are transmissible without any symptoms initially that would probably be far more likely to make your child ill.You are just as likely to pass Covid on as them- in fact even more so if you haven’t had your jabs.

Magically when you wake up on the 17th of May, everything will be back to normal.

I’m not surprised they’re annoyed. Hopefully for you, your sons future wife doesn’t hold you to a different standard to her own family.

You’re talking about “protecting” your son. Even though you’re in a bubble, others still pose a certain risk. Are your family doing lateral flow tests each time they see you and him? Somehow, I have a feeling the answer is no.

SakuraEdenSwan1- 👍👍👍

Hopefully for you, your sons future wife doesn’t hold you to a different standard to her own family.
This is a good point. It's probably best you don't model the two-tier family ranking system you have developed as your own son grows up or you might never get a look in with your own grandchildren.

God, everyone in this thread is being awful to the OP. It's not wildly unreasonable, in the middle of a pandemic, to do one's best to follow the laws and guidelines set down to limit its spread, even if they do make life pretty shit. And the OP is actually proposing bending those rules in order to facilitate her in laws being able to spend time with the baby; she's just setting the situation up in a way she'd feel comfortable doing that - it's not like she's asked them to, like, climb Mount Doom and bring back a flower that blooms once every hundred years first. If her in laws want to cut off their noses to spite their faces then whatever.

@MamaOl93

17th May is when you can actually hug someone outside your bubble *@Vetyveriohohoh*

What?

I think you've got wires crossed somewhere?

17th May is the anticipated date for indoor hospitality to open, but social distancing to still be in place.

If you don't feel happy to hug now (I am not doing that btw, I'm observing guidance) why would you do it on May 17th when cases are not likely to be any lower?

But surely nothing will magically change on 17 May...

The negative test is a valid point, yes, if they can then it makes sense they test negative and so do you. It should be that everyone is safe, him and they, and you.

As for no symptoms etc - we had covid and no symptoms and tested negative till the symptoms arrived. You test negative till symptoms arrive. So a test is not an assurance you are covid-free. Just saying.

If it was me I would let them see him and I can understand how they feel. But I live in Scotland where children under 12 aren't expected to socially distance.

The reason we’ve been keeping grandparents and grandchildren separate was to protect the grandparents, not the grandchildren.

I think it’s so ingrained in parents that every decision they make has to safeguard their children, they keep forgetting that it’s not the children that need to be protected from COVID.