How on earth do you get baby to fall asleep in cot?

[LemonPartA]

My DD is 9 months old, she's always been breastfed or rocked to sleep in my arms, i have never been able to just put her in her cot and have her fall asleep on her own. How on earth do you get them to do that??
Its not been much of an issue so far but I need to start preparing for when I go to work and other people try to put her down for naps, I can't expect her grandparents to rock her to sleep I think their arms would fall off.
We have just moved her into her own room too which is tiring enough.

I didn't, when I left her with her dad at about a year she just curled up next to him and slept and the childminder later day next to her or put her on a bed and sat in the room with her (and the other kid a similar age) till she fell asleep. 🤷‍♀️ annoying but they act differently for different people, still bf to sleep at 2.5 years.

I’d try to create a really strong bedtime routine so she learns to understand what’s happening. It doesn’t have to be fancy - just a short book, feed, and cuddles, then put her into the cot drowsy but awake. If she starts to fuss when you put her in the cot, put a hand on her belly and softly shush or sing.

We broke away from rocking to cot sleeping.

It's different for everyone but what worked for us was starting with daytime naps as it's always easier than practicing in the middle of the night when you just need them to go to sleep-I think everything is harder in the night.

We started by moving to them getting to sleep with them in cot with us touching them. So a bit of rocking then in the cot with hand held or on chest. Then did more of the latter and less rocking. Then in a similar way transitioned from
having hand on them to just being in room. Then being in room less. Then moving to try at night.

It was a long process mind. Saying that once it stuck has been fine!

Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work though or you try something else that doesn't work either. It's different for every child. I think sometimes we con ourselves into thinking there is some secret and in reality what works for one won't wall for all.

And good luck!

We were also feeding to sleep. Would you consider introducing a comforter? We did around this age - a thin Muslin square - that she associated with sleep and helped her settle.

We had a bit of a nightmare with this, well, still do sort of 😂. Ours is 10m and always needed lots of assistance to get to sleep so we started just not helping him. Laying with him in a room that he can crawl about in be safe until he just flopped. Now we just hold his hand for 2 minutes and breathe really deeply and slowly, maybe a lullaby then he goes to sleep on his own. We’ve just redecorated his bedroom and taken the side off the cot so hopefully we can get him sleeping in the cot now (previously been in our bed/mattress on floor). We also don’t take him up to bed until he’s pretty much asking us for sleep by rubbing eyes and whining; before we’d try and preempt the wake window and that just failed because he’d still be up for the same length of time except fighting slew rather than having fun/learning stuff.

I have never worked this out either, I would have instructed GPs to do a buggy nap instead!

This is how my 2year old still goes to sleep. For other people she falls asleep for naps by just lying down, or a buggy or a sling. Don't worry. Different people find their own way.

God knows OP. I'm in the same boat as you at the same age. "Drowsy but awake" my arse.. DD can be as drowsy as you like but the minute her bum touches the cot she wide awake, standing up and howling 🙄. All my antenatal class seem to have sleep trained (or had naturally good sleepers) but I just can't face it. I'm trying the suggestions from Huckleberry (I paid for the extra advice) which is to move from rocking, to rocking with less movement, then (somehow)in the cot with patting etc. We'll see how it goes 🤞🤞🤞

@RMarieClaire

We were also feeding to sleep. Would you consider introducing a comforter? We did around this age - a thin Muslin square - that she associated with sleep and helped her settle.

Yes i introduced a small muslin blankie a few months ago but she just never seems to get drowsy unless feeding or in the pram everything else is play time in her opinion, maybe I've just not given it long enough for her to fall asleep

@BertieBotts

I have never worked this out either, I would have instructed GPs to do a buggy nap instead!

That may be what they end up doing

@PumpingPamela

God knows OP. I'm in the same boat as you at the same age. "Drowsy but awake" my arse.. DD can be as drowsy as you like but the minute her bum touches the cot she wide awake, standing up and howling 🙄. All my antenatal class seem to have sleep trained (or had naturally good sleepers) but I just can't face it. I'm trying the suggestions from Huckleberry (I paid for the extra advice) which is to move from rocking, to rocking with less movement, then (somehow)in the cot with patting etc. We'll see how it goes 🤞🤞🤞

I've got that app too, find the nap windows brilliant but not paid for the advice. I think maybe I'm just giving up too easily

DTs never ever had a nap in the cot until they had just turned one. I walked and walked and walked or drove around the south circular... It was a lot easier than running up and down the stairs all the time and trying to stop one waking the other.

Once the started to consolidate sleep they suddenly got it.

The other thing that worked for us was absolutely nailing the nap windows. I used the Huckleberry app and that worked. Sometimes it would take her a while to settle but generally if I put her down in good time she wouldn’t be upset.