Thoughts on donor milk

[Missworry92]

Hi there
I have a 5month old baby who is having my expressed milk and formula as I just don't produce enough for him..I've tried everything to get it up but it's still not enough.
I've made a friend few months back with a girl who has a little girl very similar age to my boy. She has donated breast milk to a bank before and she's been through all the checks etc. She over produces and gave me some of her frozen breast milk for my boy.
As she has been tested do you think it's safe to give it to my boy?
She is not donating it to the bank because they did another check on some more milk She was going to donate and it had a tiny bit of water residue from the steamer and wouldn't accept it.
Would you give this milk to your baby if you were in my shoes? The girl is lovely and we get on super well just as I've only known her few months want to see what you all think.

100% if I saw the paperwork for her being able to donate to the bank etc then I would as this would then be certified safe milk and best for baby x

Nope, I would go with formula.

I wouldn’t have any issues with using her milk but at 5 months, your baby has had most of the key benefits they are going to get from breast milk, so I would switch to formula and make everyone’s life easier

Personally, no, I would give formula.

If your baby’s getting a bit of yours as well as some formula then stick with that, yours is tailor made for him. Am really pro donated milk and have donated litres upon litres but it’s not necessary here.

I've never heard of a milk bank rejecting milk because of steam residue. Sounds a bit fishy to me. HOW well do you know her? HOW much do you trust her? If implicitly then absolutely I'd use donor milk but of not no I wouldn't.

No. I'd switch to formula.

@GappyValley

I wouldn’t have any issues with using her milk but at 5 months, your baby has had most of the key benefits they are going to get from breast milk, so I would switch to formula and make everyone’s life easier

Still lots of benefits to be had, especially regarding building the immune system.

If you don’t want to carry on mixing feeding as you are currently doing then I’d switch outright to the safe alternative that your baby is already having: the formula. Someone’s else breast milk isn’t worth the risk especially given that it’s been rejected by a milk bank. I don’t know much about donated milk but I’d be highly sceptical she’s been banned from donating due to a bit of steam.

They didn't accept her milk second time around because there was some water left in the bottle after it was sterilised, they should be 100% dry and hers wasn't, not because there was something wrong with the milk itself. She just said the process is very long and not worth the money in the end. She did not want any money from me either, she said she would have to throw it out otherwise as her freezer is just too full.
I thought it would be good for the baby to get some antibodies etc which I might not give him?

@LakeShoreD

If you don’t want to carry on mixing feeding as you are currently doing then I’d switch outright to the safe alternative that your baby is already having: the formula. Someone’s else breast milk isn’t worth the risk especially given that it’s been rejected by a milk bank. I don’t know much about donated milk but I’d be highly sceptical she’s been banned from donating due to a bit of steam.

This sounded odd to me - you have to donate the milk frozen it’s collected by courier Plus milk contains water would they be able to differentiate steam from water in milk that has been frozen ?

As I said I’d want to see all the paperwork and test results before going ahead

@Missworry92

They didn't accept her milk second time around because there was some water left in the bottle after it was sterilised, they should be 100% dry and hers wasn't, not because there was something wrong with the milk itself. She just said the process is very long and not worth the money in the end. She did not want any money from me either, she said she would have to throw it out otherwise as her freezer is just too full. I thought it would be good for the baby to get some antibodies etc which I might not give him?

Is she donating to an nhs or similar bank or to bestmilk?

I'm not that risk averse, but I wouldn't use this tbh. I'd top up with formula or switch to formula completely. I fed my tongue tied baby expressed milk for almost a year and looking back, I don't know why the hell I did it! It was a slog. I'd do it again, but only for a few months tbh.

I know a friend used to give her friend milk though and that was fine. They knew each other well etc. Think the HV was not thrilled about it though.

My own expressed milk I should say! I didn't use donor milk.

No I wouldn't.

There isn't any need, I'd just go with formula.

I would go with formula personally

“Not worth the money”? Do you get paid for breastmilk? I thought it was a donation (like blood), so that sounds a bit dodgy if she was being paid for it?

No, I wouldn’t. I think the steam story sounds odd - there’s water in breast milk and so I don’t know how they’d tell that it was water from stream, and I wonder if they’re that descriptive anyway, or if the milk is just rejected and she’s guessed at why?

But at 5 months, your baby will be fine with your milk and formula. I wouldn’t be introducing someone else’s milk. To be honest, they’d be fine with just formula too. Breast milk is great, but if you’ve done all you can, formula is also fine. Please don’t beat yourself up.

I would; it’s not more complicated than using formula. It’s still donated just from the correct mammal.

I was looking into it for next time to donate some and they are very specific on storage and things like that because it’s usually given to preemie/NICU babies that need lots of fatty milk. At 5m I’m assuming your DC doesn’t come into that category?

No, I’d take it from the donated milk bank but you’ve only known this woman a few months so how can you trust her 100%. It just wouldn’t be something I’d be comfortable doing.

I wouldn't have it from her. Her story doesn't add up (coming from someone who has donated lots of milk).

No way- something sounds fishy with her excuses/ reasons. Formula is fine!

I wouldn’t in those circumstances. Your baby is relatively old and her story sounds... odd. You might miss out on some of the benefits of breast milk, but at least formula is 100% safe.

I would happily give my baby the donated milk and would prefer it over more formula. What has this woman (who clearly has her own child) got to gain by giving you anything other than genuine surplus milk? I'm not really sure why everyone is so against it-she's not a complete stranger and isn't forcing you to take it-just kindly offering. I pumped in the early days only to discover my daughter wouldn't take a bottle-if I could of donated it I would because the thought of it going to waste is heartbreaking.

The steam story sounds implausible. How would they tell?

Just mix feed your baby.