6 YO son upset as he doesn’t want to get old and die

[BeachyPeaches]

So last night after putting my DS age
6 to be, he comes back downstairs in floods of tears. When asked what the matter is he said “I don’t want to get old and die.” I was heartbroken (didn’t show it), but myself and DH gave loads of hugs and explained that being old is a long way off in the future and we just have to be as healthy as can be to continue to be healthy as we get older. Told him we know it’s a worry and he is sad, but he doesn’t need to worry.

I feel we handled this in the right way given the time, but I also think this will come back up.

Would you have done anything differently? Any tips for future conversations?

Thanks.

Oh bless him. He sounds very mature for his age in his worries, but doesn't yet have the maturity and knowledge to be able to put them into context (which is normal, as he is six!)

DD1 was like this about a lot of things when she was five, and we worked through this marvellous book with her from cover to cover. It really helped. Helped me as well!

My son is 5 and suddenly started thinking about this. He’s normally very cheerful but is obviously working through the implications about death. He’s worried lately about the sun going out - hard to reassure him this is a long way off! And about people dying, including me. I wonder if Covid is a factor, not that we go on about it, and we don’t watch news in front of him.

I worry I haven’t sugar coated things around death enough. Like talking more about heaven. It’s hard.

My eldest DD was the same at this age. She is a sensitive child and a deep thinker. Was always as she was going to sleep that she would get upset about things.

My response was the same as yours and she was able to process the emotions.

I think your response was fine there is nothing else you can say really. Lots of reassurance. As he gets older he will be able to manage it better.

My DD is 12 now and finds the ideas of re incarnation comforting. I think the idea of death hits some kids like this huge scary reality and for other kids it just kinda goes over their head ( Im thinking of DD 2 here!)

We talked a lot about Yoda - how he was very old and tired and ready to go. We explained to them that young children can't imagine how it feels to be really old.

Thanks for your suggestions. That book looks interesting, I’ll have a look.