Talking to child about cognitive assessment

[Flakeymcwakey]

I separated from my children's father at the end of last year and have sought parenting support because I wanted to support the children through the separation - their Dad has been a bit crap.

Our main support worker, who is a family and children's specialist, has suggested and managed to get my DS10 booked for a cognitive assessment because she suspects ND.

This does not feel surprising, DS has always had quirky ways of managing stress and has some other qualities sometimes associated with ND. However, he is highly articulate/ intelligent and sensitive and I am wondering about what is the best way to frame this process with him.

He is due for a session on Weds and I have had an initial screening. His Dad and I will go for a session with the assessor on Thursday. Ex will likely be a bit clumsy around it but will sometimes take on board my suggestions so I would like to get really clear so that the process isn't dIstressing. Has anyone had experience of this and how would you handle it?

Not been in that situation as a parent but I was diagnosed at your son's age, I would go with being honest as they ll likely be suspect they are different in some way anyway without anyone having said to them ( I had lost of my dad in the months before the assessment so perhaps that's why it felt less of an issue to me when mum told me I was seeing someone to talk about my brain and the things I found difficult)

Thanks, that's really helpful. What if he's not diagnosed, though? Would that have a negative effect? Like, oh they thought I was ND but it was just my personality - I can see that feeling uncomfortable

Is he aware of his difficulties or emotional stress? If so just say the person will talk to him and play games to try to help him.

He knows we are having family therapy because I felt I needed parenting support. He had had a 121 with our main family support, but this is going to be with someone else. He is I think okay, he and his dad have issues, and he has always managed stress by going off to flap about. But there isn't anything particularly around him iyswim

Both my daughter's have been through the diagnosis process for ASC, and we framed it as finding out more about how their brain works. Although we also made it very clear that was just through games and questions, not literal neurosurgery! They were fine with that.

Something like 'to see if this person can help us understand you better' perhaps?

Thanks, this is all really helpful. I will go with something like how it's part of working out how we can all work well together and how sometimes people's minds work in different ways and this is about getting some information about what kinds of things might support him