Considering a third child

[happytobemrsg]

DH & I have 2 DS - nearly 5 & nearly 2. Im 33 in a couple of months & DH is 42. To get a similar age gap for #3 I’d need to be pg by January so it’s playing on my mind quite a lot recently!

We are financially ok though I’m the main breadwinner at the moment. I have silent labours & would most likely need another CS to avoid me giving birth without warning (this very nearly happened with DS1!).

Life is good! Am I crazy to be considering another baby?? People will assume it’s because I want a girl but I’d be perfectly happy growing my boy gang too. I’m just getting broody!!

If you can afford it, and have the space and energy, then why not?
We have 3 (6, 4 and 2). I'd say initially the move to 3 felt so much easier than from 1 to 2, but now they're older it's pretty full on. School/nursery activities, friends, work etc feels a bit epic sometimes, and it's harder to split our time evenly between them all, but it's a work in progress.
I love it though. Its great to see them in their little gang and they're really self sufficient when it comes to play etc and resolving arguments.

No advice but I'm feeling exactly the same, I'm also 33 and dc are 5 and 3. I know I still have a bit of time but I wouldn't want the age gap to be much bigger so feel like I need to come to a decision soon. In all honesty I think we will stick at 2. Life has become so much easier and we live very comfortably. We could afford another but we certainly wouldn't be able to give 3 what we can give 2 in terms of clubs and days out when they're small and I know they will only get more expensive as they get older. It is very difficult to make a head over heart decision though. I am incredibly broody at the moment and love the idea of 3 children, it's what I always wanted. DH is happy with 2, he would have another if I really wanted but I feel like that's a lot of responsibility for me to make the decision. Hopefully some others will be along to share their experience of life with 3, or sticking at 2 and whether they regret that or not further down the line.

We've got three and just so so glad that we went for it. I agree with PP that 2-3 felt initially v easy as you worry less, know what you're doing with a baby and have some perspective on how quickly you move through the newborn phase etc.

Now that they're older it is more complicated because they have hobbies, clubs, different schools and friends and the logistics would be much easier with 2. But, while I see how much neater and tidier families of 4 are, I feel very happy with my gang and grateful I get to do things 3 times over and each stage is not all over in a rush. My 3 definitely see themselves as a pack and play together loads, and really look out for each other. I love thinking that may continue as they get older.

If you have the money, energy, time, space - and your partner is up for it, then sure.

I’d love a 3rd in theory but in reality, not sure I could it all again to be honest. My eldest is almost 4 & she’s at a MUCH easier age now. Will entertain herself happily for periods of time, actually sits & watches a movie, follows instructions on the whole & is pretty well behaved when we are out. My youngest is 14 months & exhausting! She’s far more physical than DD1 & my god. I miss sitting down 😂 she was a really easy baby & then decided to walk at 10 months and has been far too busy & suicidal ever since!

Maybe I’ll change my mind if she becomes an easier toddler eventually but the thought of her reaching a similar stage to her sister & then doing the baby stage/tantruming toddler stage again - no thank you!

DH is definitely on board & he’s the one doing the lions share of the childcare while I work in London 4 days a week. We have a 4 bed home (although the 4th bedroom is a box room). MIL comes 2x a week to look after DC/clean for us so we have a great support network (both families live within 10 minutes drive). I’m just nervous as everyone I know stopped at 2!

@happytobemrsg

Did you end up having number 3?

3 generations all having 8 kids, 8 x 8 x 8 = 512 great grand kids.