Third hand smoke around baby

[1990fran]

First time mum here and a ball of anxiousness - my baby is 2 mnths and I have only found out about third hand smoke being such an issue, I don't drink or smoke myself my mum does smoke, she will be looking after my boy when he is 6 mnths so I can resume work. She smoked throughout 3 pregnancies and once they were born, not around them etc but yeah she tried to give up, didnt work. I read about it being an issue, I have asked her to wash hands and changing before holding him which I dont think she does every time and just says to me "oh don't be silly I have done fine with all of you" meaning me and siblings.. i feel like I am over reacting because this is all new to me and that she doesnt understand that.. she is the only person I have around me to help, crazy because thinking about it i have seen people smoking next to the pram when out and about etc... she also said what happens if you had childcare nursery etc the staff smoke csnt stop them and so on, can someone give advise or tell me to stop being an idiot.. i dont really want horror stories my anxiety is high anyway x

I’d be ok with her being a smoker and providing childcare so long as she never smokes in the house (not just when she has DS but in general), doesn’t ever smoke around him and washes hands/changes clothes before picking him up. Realistically that will probably mean she can only smoke in the garden whilst he’s down for a nap. Which is comparable to nursery staff who will own smoke outside the nursery on breaks. That said, you can’t dictate what she does/doesn’t do in her own house so if she won’t alter her behaviour and aren’t comfortable with it then you need to find alternative childcare e.g. nursery or childminder.

I would find alternative childcare OP. It sounds like she isn't even taking your concerns seriously.

I think you need to decide how trustworthy your mum is about her smoking. Do you trust her not to smoke in her house and only when your baby isn't around? If not then the only choice you have is to send him to a nursery or have someone smoking around him. You cannot control what she does, only what you do.

She should either wear a jacket or change her clothes.

If she isn't willing to do small things for the sake of her grandchild find other childcare.

It's more dangerous than people think.

Washing hands and changing clothes doesn't actually make your baby safe unless she washes her hair as well. I won't let any smoke touch DD. And before anyone mentions nursery staff, she goes to a non-smoking childminder.

Sorry no I wouldn't have her as childcare.