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Parenting

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Son asking ‘what’s the point of life?’

20 replies

Catbell82 · 22/04/2021 21:22

My 10 year old son has asked twice over the last couple of days ‘what’s the point in living if we’re going to die?’. First he asked his Dad who dodged the question, than he asked me & I really didn’t know what to say. I told him that no one can really answer the question of what’s the point of life and we should make the most of it while we can. I think that was actually a rubbish response & he looked disappointed with my answer but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It’s not the first time he’s said something like this. In the past he has said he ‘doesn’t want to die’ and ‘why do we have to die?’. I asked him if he has these thoughts often & he said ‘sometimes’. I’m quite worried that he seems to think there is no point to life. Has anyone experienced anything similar with their children? Or have any words of wisdom of how best to deal with this or what to say to him? I’m very concerned by it.

OP posts:
beginningoftheend · 22/04/2021 21:35

I think all intelligent people think these things at some point.

What is the point of life? It is a massive question. Why do we have to die? I don't want to die either so I think he is right there!

I think these are not questions to be scared of, he is just thinking about the same things philosophers have wondered about since the dawn of time. You could get him an age-appropriate philosophy book if you are not sure where to start or don;t feel comfortable discussing it.

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/04/2021 21:55

My gran said the point of life was to have so much fun it energised the universe. I loved that.

Aliceandthemarchhare · 22/04/2021 21:56

Does he like Harry Potter?

I’ve always liked that line about going to bed after a very long day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

CrazyNeighbour · 22/04/2021 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHateCoronavirus · 22/04/2021 22:09

I remember getting very thoughtful/worried about death as a child. It is quite an abstract thing to work out especially as death is very much hidden in our society. Bless your DS I feel for him. He is fortunate to be able to speak to you about it though. Keep listening to help him process it.
Would it help him to think of his life as having some sort of purpose/potential? A difference that only he can make which will make the world a better place for all that know him?

beginningoftheend · 24/04/2021 07:03

@GrumpyHoonMain

My gran said the point of life was to have so much fun it energised the universe. I loved that.
I like this Smile
WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 24/04/2021 07:18

The point of life is to find a point in life. Ironically that is what makes it all worthwhile.

We always tell the kids that people die to make room for the new people. And it's the normal cycle that as people leave, other people come into our lives.

It's a HUGE thing to get your head around but worth chatting through with him rather than avoiding.

OverTheRainbow88 · 24/04/2021 07:23

I would say the point of life is to learn, to have fun, have great friends and family, try new experiences, make fun memories and to help others.

As a religious person also the point of life is to worship god and gain eternal life in heaven ( but if you aren’t religious I wouldn’t mention that...!)

DinosaurDiana · 24/04/2021 07:29

I’ve nursed many elderly people, and I would say that none of us want to die, but many of them get to a place where they accept their fate and no longer want to go on living. Living becomes a chore, and they just want eternal sleep.
I would say to him that, as he matures and grows older, he will see the point of living and not be scared of dying.

LeonardLikesThisPost · 24/04/2021 07:36

He's clearly a bright and thoughtful boy. I'd just say that this is something countless people have wondered about ever since humans have existed. It might bring him comfort to know he's far from alone in his wonderings.

Some think it's to experience joy and beauty. Some think it's to try and make life better, either in small ways, by treating people and the world well and having compassion, or by inventing things for the greater good.

Some find comfort in the idea that we aren't here "for" anything, it's just an amazing, random happenstance, so make the most of it...

There is room for a great discussion here I think.

Ducksurprise · 24/04/2021 07:47

Some good answers above so I won't answer your op but share what I learnt on here as your son is the age now where you are going to be asked increasingly difficult questions.

Tell your son he can always ask you anything but that sometimes a question requires a bit of time to be thought about before being able to get the right answer but that you will always come back and answer the question. This approach has saved me loads, stopped me fudging an answer and given me time to find the right words (or ask on here!)

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 24/04/2021 07:49

Good question from a curious, enquiring and reflective young mind. Encourage him.
Across the world, cultures, traditions and religions, this question has been asked for millenia. He's in good company. And it is worth drawing his attention to the fact that 'answers' and perceptions vary wildly. Many extrinsically imposed as ideological 'the point of life is...', fewer arrived at through exploration of authentic, personal lived experience. "Burn all bridges but the truth", I think Martha Beck might have said, pointing toward how we begin to peel away what isn't our purpose, in order to start to see what will really fulfil us (or "energise the universe" -loved that, Grumpy).

Silverfly · 24/04/2021 07:52

I agree with posters who have suggested turning this into an interesting philosophical discussion rather than swerving or downplaying the question.

How about getting him the Children's Book of Philosophy (aimed at children aged 9-12):
www.amazon.co.uk/Childrens-Book-Philosophy-Introduction-Greatest/dp/1409372049/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=childrens+book+of+philosophy&sprefix=childrens+book+of+&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1619247048&sr=8-1

Jossse · 24/04/2021 07:54

Sounds like he needs to find something he's interested in so that he can grow and develop and become hungry for more information and life experiences...

Catbell82 · 24/04/2021 09:10

Thank you so much everyone. These are all really helpful suggestions & I feel so much more capable of talking to him about this now x

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 24/04/2021 09:13

My gran said the point of life was to have so much fun it energised the universe. I loved that.

I really love that too Star

Moomin12345 · 25/04/2021 17:21

Objectively, there's no point other than the biological drive to pass on one's genes. So it's gotta be about enjoyment and finding one's own purpose.

NavigatingAdolescence · 25/04/2021 17:24

My 10.5 year old is obsessed with this too. But more from a “humans are destroying everything” perspective. Having experienced the death of many relatives she is well aware that they can live on as memories and in our DNA.

MiaMc · 25/04/2021 17:28

Next question: how does having fun energise the universe ? Grin

MillicentMargaretAmanda · 26/04/2021 13:29

You've had some great answers to the question but I wouldn't be too worried about him asking it. I distinctly remember having existential angst at that age (couldn't of course name it!) I used to stand in front of the bathroom mirror and wonder why we were here, what living really meant, and what the point of it all was. Not in a depressed way. It was a bit scary, having those thoughts, but I grew out of the navel gazing with time :-D

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