Hi Everyone,
I am a brand new member and first time Mum. I got unexpectedly pregnant when I was 21 last year but have had the most incredible daughter who has changed my life. The father and I had a short term thing and we were on/off when I found out. He was not pleased that I went through with the pregnancy and went completely off the rails and pretty much off my radar throughout. Problems with drugs, alcohol and violence amongst friends. He got fired from his job and was absolutely awful to me for the duration which included constantly getting my hopes up and then ghosting me multiple times. I did the birth on my own and at the time he was barely interested/talking to me. I persevered with trying to forge some sort of relationship every time there was a chance because I believe my daughter should have a father. There was a glimmer of hope a few weeks later when he promised to turn up to the registry office, but on the day he left me and the baby hanging again and didn't speak to me for weeks afterwards. I am currently the only parent on the BC. Eventually I lost my patience and realised we were better off without him but despite all his behaviour throughout, he has been religiously paying me child support each month. Even when his father pushed him to get me to do a DNA test for the baby which was so insulting and upsetting. In the last few weeks he has had a bit of a break down, done a 180 and is very apologetic for his actions. He now really wants to be involved in the baby's life and is asking to be put on the BC. I want to honour that in theory so we have an appointment next week. On top of this, the father (who asked me to do a DNA test) is now pushing to do a religious ceremony for the baby which does not align with my beliefs at all and in fact counteracts them. When I objected, they told me that is wasn't fair for me to be doing a traditional christening either which is something I have been planning all along with my daughter when none of these people were interested or around. It's also something that is very important to me and my beliefs. I never want to withhold a baby from their father, and I won't do that, but I am now really overwhelmed and worried about having to make these kind of big decisions with him and his family when he hasn't been around the whole time and have caused me a huge amount of upset. I don't feel like I know him or them well enough. I am also really worried about putting him on the BC, but if I don't, that will also cause huge drama. If I do put him on, I don't really understand what rights he will have, or I will have or what will change. I have had sole custody up until this point. Can anyone help me with some advice? I don't know what to do :(