Struggling with 6 month old

[Nic198621]

Hi,

I've have read lots about people struggling with their babies and I still want to burst into tears. My dd has always been a little challenging (although I'm a first time mum so maybe she's just doing what a baby does). She really is hard work in the day. Moans alot and nothing seems to interest her for more than a few minutes. I'm constantly trying to keep her entertained. I get anxious going to people's houses or groups as she gets moany easily and I then end up comparing her to other babies who seem so chilled and content. My partner works away alot so I am on my own when he is away. I've read articles about 'high needs babies' but one thing is she does tend to sleep OK so not even sure is she is high needs or not. I'm sorry for the long post just really struggling lately and any reassurance would be lovely. Ps I do follow the wonder weeks app and I think she is going through a leap and possibly teething but shes always been moany since very early on.

Hi OP, sorry you're feeling down. I just want to say its really common for you to feel this way. My DD and a few friends children all had a really fussy stage at 6 months when they just seemed really unsettled and unhappy - lots of whinging, didn't want to be put down, nothing would make them happy and content. We were convinced it's something to do with their age. Your baby is developing so much in the first year and they'll have their ups and downs. It's good that she's sleeping well and hopefully that gives you some down time away from her. I can sit here and tell you not to compare your baby to others until the cows come home, but I know everyone does this, even if they don't want to. I found getting off Google and apps did me the world of good (after all, we were raised without Google and we turned out alright!) and stopped me putting so much pressure on myself and my baby to live up to others expectations. I can also say, noone in these baby groups will judge you or your baby if she's moaning and groaning, they all will have had to go through the same at some point, even if it doesn't look like it! Have you got any mum friends that you can meet up with in the day? Fresh air always seemed to placate my DD and she enjoyed looking at all things nature so I'd set out a picnic blanket and let her hold flowers, grass and just play with toys outside. Things will get better, I found at about the 1yr mark where they're generally crawling and having lots more independence. Good luck, you're doing a grand job even if you don't think you are x

It is definitely true that some babies are harder work than others. DS was like your DD, a good sleeper but constantly wanting to be entertained. DD was super chilled.

It does get better gradually, as they get more independent.

It's harder if you can't get out of the house and socialize. I always took DS somewhere every day, otherwise he climbed the walls (more or less literally).

DS is 5 now and still wants to be constantly entertained but 1) he's at preschool so mostly it's not my problem any more, (2) he can be reasoned and bargained with to some extent and (3) there's always the iPad 🤣

My DS was exactly like this - he is 8 months old now. There is a huge developmental leap at 6 months and if your little one is anything like mine the teeth will be causing lots of discomfort.

The first 4-5 months of his life it seemed like I was constantly trying to keep tears and screaming at bay, often unsuccessfully; and then it was a constant battle of trying to keep him entertained. Sometimes I thought he hated me, nothing I did seemed to make him happy.

He is so much better now, I think it's a combination of being able to sit up properly and engage with the world (he is very late at physical development), more solid food/less milk, and longer quality sleep at night.

Mine liked lying on his back and having lots of things to look at/play with. I also took him with me from room to room in the house doing chores, I think the constant change in scenery and watching me doing things kept him somewhat entertained.

It's so, so hard and you have all my sympathies. You will get through it, it helps to talk about it x

It's really hard and I totally sympathise. Although it can be daunting, I personally find it easier to get out and about with baby as much as I can as it is much easier to keep her entertained. I now hate having days just sitting inside and find them much more challenging. No one at baby groups would ever judge you for having a whinging or crying baby, if anything it would be the best place to go because everyone completely understands. When you go out you only see a snap shot of other babies and I'm sure the babies that seem chilled and content have their awful moments too!

Hi @Nic198621 I totally understand where you’re coming from, my lo suffered with reflux from around 1 month old until he was 5 months old during this time he hardly slept and would just cry, it does have a big impact on your own well-being as you’re sleep deprived and physically mentally drained. My advise would be reach out to any family or friends and make a support bubble. Tell them you’re finding it a bit challenging as you’re so tired and need a break, ask them to come to you and during this time try and get some sleep 💤 have a bath etc, invisibly this has to be someone you trust. This will refuel you and make you feel ready to take on the battles of parenting again. I found that a jumperoo occupied mine very well he absolutely loved it and would jump for ages. Finally when you go out go for long walks with baby in buggy turn buggy outwards to allow baby to see the world and this could be quite calming for baby especially if there’s nice greenery around also the fresh air does wonders. When out go and grab a coffee on your own with baby to get them used to being in that type of environment. Do not avoid meeting up with people, babies are not to be compared and if someone does make you feel like you’re being judged then ditch them. Babies are their own little people and we cannot control their feelings. Sending a big hug and lots of strength, you can do this! Ps. If you need to let it all out and cry then do that it doesn’t make you a bad mum and it can help you let go of the build up. Good luck and stay strong

Babies are all different. I’ve had an easy and a not so easy one.
It’s bloody hard work so don’t be hard on yourself for finding it difficult. This phase will pass, ask for help from others and try and gets some ‘me time’.

My baby is exactly the same, she's 6.5 months old. She's doesn't sleep well though, still wakes up every 2 hours at night, although we seem to be able to stick to the suggested wake windows and naps in the day. She pretty much always fights sleep too, usually crying while I rock her. I spent most of the day in tears earlier this week because I feel like I must be doing something wrong. It seems impossible that she will ever sleep for even 8 hours let alone 12 that some babies do.
She seems to whinge and cry so easily and always has done, some days are worse, but it doesn't seem to be linked to a leap. I am constantly changing activities to keep her entertained and my back is always aching from rocking her. We go outside lots and do at least one walk a day which she is usually okay for and helps to keep me sane.
I love her so much but I feel so broken. We have 2 days of leap 5 left and I'm hoping she might miraculously improve after that, but I suspect it won't

@Nic198621 did your LO improve? Stumbled across your post as I am going through the same thing with my 6MO. At the end of my tether tonight. For large bouts of the day, he isn't happy. It can be not long after hes napped, even if I've offered boob, clean nappy etc.. feel like a shit mum 😢

Hi, she is now 2 years old and a lovely little girl. It slowly got better and I saw massive a improvement when she could do more for herself such as crawling and then onto walking. I know it is such a hard time but it really does get better. I never thought it would but it does. You are doing an amazing job x