Just how hard is it getting out with a 2yr old and newborn?

[vannah]

Because although I will soon know (due in couple of weeks time) Im having a jolly good panic about it. I imagine myself housebound all day with frantic 2 yr ds and newborn...

I bought a v v light pram for ds when he was little, and he still uses it today, dont think he will want to share it (even with buggy board). I found it hard to push him around in it during this pregnancy, so cant really imagine pushing around a double buggy(anyone know of a v light one?)

And I always was hopeless with the babybjorn, so cant imagine combining that with the pushchair.

Is it physically really exhausting? I am desperately trying to find an affordable home help person to take ds out everyday, but not coming up with much...

any advice? thankyou

Hmm I think you might have to start the mantra 'gosh I bet you don't want to go in the buggy since you are such a big boy now'

Seriously, my SiL did this and she said they were as bad at any age TBH, two children is still manic (she has three now, the fool!)

Can I suggest you look into a baby backpack though for your DS? I have one and DD (25 pounds of her) is surprisingly easy to carry in it and she feels all high up and special (instead of being a itty witty baby in the pram - try this argument, it has a chance with your son).

I did find it hard - overwhelming so - in the first weeks and months. The good news is that you WILL get used to it, and it will become second nature to get them sorted and out of the house.

Can you find some good local mums and tots groups you can go to, where your DS can run around and you can sit with the baby? Have a look on MN local, there might be some recomendations.

You will probably be pleasantly surprised with how much better you feel once baby is out - I was more physically tired towards the end of my second pregnancy than I Wwas once ds was born. Even despite the sleepless nights, at least you can move your body around more easily and feel like yourself, rather than yourself plus enormous parasite!

HTH

BTW I mean a big hulking rucksack type backpack, not your namby pamby mothercare nonsense.

I have to admit I found it all right (22 month age gap). We have a P&T pushchair it was very good for us.

I found that getting out and about with two was a lot easier than getting out about with one when DS was born - DD just seemed to fit in with whatever we were doing.

I think it is mindset and not putting too much pressure on yourself if you dont get out. Ds was 2.2yrs when I had dd1 then 12mths later I had dd2 so had 3.2yr old,12mth old and newborn. Like anything first few times it seems daunting and a nightmare, however bonus is newborns sleep so much etc they are happy to be in the pram or in the house. Also find with second you bounce back quicker mainly because oyu have to.

I found it pretty hard. I had a double buggy. Physically demanding but it did keep me trim and fit. It can be awful at times but you get used to it. And some people even like it.

there is 15 months between my two and I think that if we had not got out each day I would have gone mad.

It was not easy, but it was woth it. we bought the phil and teds and it is a breese to push and both the boys were great in it untill DS2 was six months.

Mums and toddlers was a god send for me, as people looked after DS2 while I had quality time with DS1.

Now DS1 often pushes his buggy and baby (both pink) whilst I push DS2.

It is hard, but you get used to it

I thought it was OK - but then the idea of being stuck in all day was enough to get me out I also think it is MUCH harder being pg with a toddler than it is having a toddler and a newborn.

At the risk of getting a slap, I'd think about trying the sling again - I had 2y1mth between mine, and chucking dd in the sling & ds in the buggy was defn the easiest way to go. Could you try some different slings?

P&T (bought that when dd was 3/4 mths) is wonderful...

I've got almost exactly 2 years between ds1 and ds2. I've got a mclaren rally twin buggy which is easy to push, lightweight and lies flat for ds2 (3 months). I go to playgroups every weekday morning and it's a lifesaver! - the odd day I miss one it's definitely harder on ds1. Nemo is right, it's definitely mindset - I always have a backpack ready with nappies, wipes etc, just pop the boys in the buggy and go (ds1 is happy to walk but it's too far for him just yet). Ds1 loves the playgroup, I have made friends, and the mornings pass in a flash

Your HV should be able to tell you where/when local playgroups are held.

it's not hard. Just make sure you have your nappies, spare clothes, food etc packed. But it's not at all difficult.

we have 2yrs 3mo between our number 2 and 3 (yes i am insane )
we had a tandem buggy for DSes 1&2, more a personality thing than anything cos no1 was not the 'sharing' type, would have nicked anything the baby had etc even though three yrs between. i just had this mum-hunch, y'know the thing?!
anyway back to the other two cos it is more your age gap.
found it surprisingly easy (tho not easy per se) cos the baby just knew she was number three and made no fuss anywhere for any reason. older child gets to ride in the front of the tandem pram, velcro'd a steering wheel that made nee-naaaw noises to the front of it, never heard a peep out of him either too busy driving the train / bus / whatever it was that day.

a bugger to go round other towns with cos you have to go to dropped kerbs, no way can i get the front to lift with DS2 in it, but great round familiar towns (shopping centres!!) and even the walk to school, just happens the crossings are well-placed.

i would rather push two than carry any - but that is personal choice

Okay, first off, this is just end-of-pregnancy-panic setting in. You're about to enter the great unknown and you are, naturally worried about it. So take a deep breath annnnnnnnnnd r-e-l-a-x.

It's NOT going to be as bad as you think, it isn't, I promise. I've done it twice and have survived!

I would say your first plan should be to get a double buggy. This one is lightweight, narrow (for a side by side)comes with everything you need and won't break the bank. Maclaren do one very similar but about £100 more expensive.

Don't forget being pg is very different to being postnatal, especially after the first few weeks so it won't be as much of a physical struggle as it is at the moment. (this is where you tell me you're having an elective cs, isn't it!)

If you don't get on with the Baby Bjorn your options are to try a different type of carrier such as an Ergo or Coorie or just abandon that idea and know it's not an option.

The main things you have to remember when going out is to keep the changing bag stocked and ready so you can get out of the house quickly and to go when baby has just fed as it's more likely to fall asleep in the buggy.

Spend the next couple of weeks finding some short walks you can do just for a bit of fresh air and so ds can run off a bit of energy, even if it's just to the shop or park, or even a circular walk round the streets. Then when you get a bit more confident you can go further and for longer.

I found our local shopping centre a godsend when ds2 was born - he was a winter baby - if the weather was terrible we would wander round it and i could bribe ds1 and dd to be good by promising a play in the ELC!

Have you got any friends with similar age children who could take ds1 out for a while, to give you a break and entertain him?

Also, soft play places, especially during the school day are great because the older one can play and you can feed, etc lo as you need to.

It's taken me ages to type this so i expect I've x-posted with lots of other people but hope soem of it's useful and good luck - you'll be fine .

having a good laugh at some of these replies! Certainly feels like an enormous parasite!

ok am convinced to look into buggies - p+t - expensive?
thanks for the reassurance everyone, lots of sense (of which i have none at moment)

Remember when you're getting a double buggy that light in term of weight does not necessarily equate to easy to push. My Twin Everest (like a Mountain Buggy) was a doddle to push because of the large wheels and single bar. When they're constructed well, it doesn't matter that you have a heavy toddler on one side and a tiny newborn on the other. I found something like a mclaren side-by-side a nightmare to push.

My 2 boys are exactly 2 years apart, and I agree with funnypeculiar that the thought of staying in with a 2 year old was enough to get me out of the house! And I felt it was really important for the older one to feel that aspects of his life that were important to him and he was familiar with (playgroups, visiting friends, walks in the park etc) hadn't changed because of his new brother. It's a really tough time for the older sibling, so my tip is to keep as much as possible "normal" for him.

Good luck, yourself into a positive mindset, and go for it. It'll be great!

It is part of the job to worry over these things

with a bit of luck you will have exhausted all of the 'worst-case scenarios' and the reality will be a complete breeze

good luck with the imminent bump landing!

It is alot easier than it sounds. My oldest has just turned 19 months. Our first 'expedition' to the local shop took an hour to get out of the house . I got everything in the wrong order so just when I thought I was ready I would discover dd had taken her shoes off / had started playing again / had hidden under the bed ...
Now I get baby ready, put her near the doorway so she doesn't get too hot, then get dd ready and out. So long as baby has been recently fed and the (distraction) fruit box is well stocked everything works OK.

I had the same gap with mine and used a wrap sling for the first months (but then it was one I had used with my first so I was pretty confident about getting it on etc.) I needed to get out mainly because I just think it's easier when toddler is entertained by surroundings andother toddlers and you don't have to be 'on' all the time if that makes sense.
TBH though, it completely depends on birth as to how knackered, after all you might get it easy and be jumping around, baking and making craft all while bf!!!

Oooo maybe xpost, invite friends over with toddler of similar age maybe, so long as you don't stress about mess I am clearly lazy so actually prefer to go out than reveal to others how slovenly I can be...

Do you know, I found the first child much more exhausting than the second. With the second, you just get on with what the first child does in terms of daily routine. With a bit of luck, your newborn will sleep a lot for the first few weeks.

It does take longer to get out of the house. And yes, they both poop just before we're due to leave but as long as you remember to factor in 60 mins departure prep time as opposed to 30 mins for one child, you'll be fine.

What I think is that I just did it because I had to and DD (now 7 months) just slotted in with our existing lives.

Phil and Ted's is great by the way. The little one lies flat under the older child at first and so they sleep and sleep and sleep. Circa £360. Good deal on kiddicare just now.

www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplayA_75_10751_-1_14051_77

And forgot to say, the extra work of another child hasn't put me off having number 3 sometime and maybe even number 4. It can't be that bad then seeing as I'm quite a lazy old goat!

Hi i have just bought a Jane power twin it was expensive but it is very light easy on and off busses and folds fairly flat i think its great ive not used mine yet but friend has same one i have used for her 2 and its fantastic

I had a baby sling for ds2 while ds1 was in the Maclaren Volo (very lightweight). I wouldn't give up on slings if I were you as I found mine very useful when taking both dss out (the same age gap as your dcs).

I also had a double buggy - a front and back Cosatto one. It was pretty heavy and as I am only 5ft I found the handle was a tad too high. Loads of people round here have the Phil and Ted double buggy which does look very comfy and manageable.

The sling is not great for very cold/wet weather so I would definitely consider a double buggy - I couldn't have managed without it as I remember at age 2 ds1 would not have been able to walk very far.

I was given a Jane powertwin, and I have found it to be really good, although I personally could use a bigger basket underneath. It transports the two littlest twits to and from school and around town and the supermarket...... so gets alot of use.

I have not read all the responses but wanted to reassure you that it does get better.

I had a 20 month gap between my two. Things that helped were:

1. getting a P&T - a real life saver; that bugy is wonderful. I cannot recommend it enough. I struggled for a while with a Baby bjorn & a Maclaren but it was hard.

1. trying to get stuff ready the night before -clothes, nappies, food to minimise running around whilst they are waiting.

1. keeping duplicates of virtually everything on each floor.

The first 3 months are the hardest but it does get easier.

I'm in the same position as you (but 3 weeks to go). My dd will be 2.7 when this next one comes. I am very nervous and have been debating for ages what to do re buggies etc. I have decided to try the Mclaren plus sling option to start with (though I also had little success with the Baby Bjorn with my dd, I have bought a Babasling to try instead). And if that doesn't work I have a Jane plus buggy board. And if THAT doesn't work I will think about getting a P&T - but they are expensive so I hope to do without. One thing's for sure I don't want to be stuck in the house this winter with a 2 year old and a new born baby!!!

Oh, and I had an emergency c-secton with my dd and a terrible recovery. Am trying for VBAC this time but if I end up with another c-section that'll complicate things too.

So you have my sympathy from the panic point of view - but people do seem to manage to I guess we'll be fine!

Good luck!