understands but won't speak

[chicca]

We live in Spain and DS1 (3 y-o) goes to a local nursery. Very few expats in our area so everything in Spanish. At home we talk English and have English language television. I am relaxed about his language learning and am excited about the opportunity he has to learn 2 languages at the same time. However, he appears to understand everything that is said to him in Spanish but will not speak back in Spanish. It's getting tricky because he wants to make friend with children we meet out and about but will not speak to them in their language - they all think he is mad! Should I just not worry about it - has anyone else had a similar experience? I probably wouldn't worry about it but for this socialisng problem he is encountering.

I have exactly the same thing with my 3yo DD. We live in Italy, and she has been at italian nursery and preschool since 18 months. I'm pretty confident she will make it eventually, I think she's a bit of a perfectionist and hardly said anything in english either til gone 2yo, then suddenly you couldn't shut her up Have the feeling it'll be the same with italian when she "clicks".

Since she started preschool 2 months ago she's started speaking some italian when playing alone at home, so maybe we are nearly there. We've also had DVDs in italian instead of english and she repeats phrases from them so that seems to help too

It will come.#Just let him do it in his own time.
(If it helps I am a bilingual salt.)

Relax, it will happen. We live in Austria and same as you only speak English at home and have English & German TV. DS went to a childminder 3 mornings a week from 18 months and then started Kindergarten (in German) at 3. At 3 he understood everything the teacher said but did not speak much German at all. Not helped in that there were a couple of other English speaking children in the class. By the end of his first year in Kindergarten he was chatting away and now age 5 he is truely bilingual with no help at all from us (useless at German). He now tends to play in German rather than English with his English speaking friends, even at home.

...and talks German to himself if playing alone at home....

do not worry

ds talks a little german
im really bad

it will come in time

Chicca, could it be a confidence thing? I know I can understand a lot more Italian than I would ever dare to speak.

how long has he been in the nursery?
Like the others said, It will happen. He is probably just absorbing still and waiting for everyone to stop waiting for his first words! My DS (4) has been in bosnian nursery for over 10 months now and has only started talking and singing int he language in september. Patience.

HIJACK
Hi Moondog! Shw'mae? Edrych yn cylchgrawn Golwg wythnos yma... rwy'n enwog.

waves to lapsedrunner in vienna

PGL...ffantastig! Roedd copi gen i yn y ty ac ers i syth ato i'w darllen (dwi'n ffrindiau da efo un o bobl sydd yn sgwennu i Golwg.)

Ladies,just delighted to read an article in a Welsh medium magazine about PrincessGoodLife and her trilingual son.
I can also tell you that there are numerous photos and they are all lovely.

We speak italian at home and DD did not speak any english till now 2.4 although she's been going to an english childminder since she was 11m. I think it is confidence. You'll be surprised, all of a sudden he'll be fluent. I wouldn't puch it at all and pretend it's not an issue. You live in spain so sooner or later he'll def speak spanish, I'm more worries of the time when DD will refuse to speak italian tbh.

When we first arrived in Sweden DS1 (then 5), spoke no Swedish at all at his Swedish nursery, for about a year. It seemed to us that he was taking his time understanding it all then decided he would speak and appeared to be more or less fluent a few months after that.

DS2 (3) doesnät speak much Swedish at all but understands perfectly. We are just waiting to see what happens. I really think you should wait and see too.

Hello chicca,
I am catalan/spanish living in London, and my DD1 had the same problem, but she would not speak catalan even thought she could understand everything. She spends the summers with my family in Spain, and until she was 4 she will not speak any catalan at all. Suddenly she started speaking, when she realized that the other kids couldn't understand her very well, and now, even though she speaks to me english, I do speak to her in catalan alomost all the time, she can change to catalan if my family phones, and even spanish, as she said this summer she was teaching herself spanish.
My DD2 speaks more in catalan, to me and everybody else, the CM, the nursery teacher etc..

Moondog - Diolch! Penderfynnais i mis diwethaf fy mod i'n ffansio dechrau sgwennu am ein profiadau a roedd diddordeb gyda Golwg. Cam bach cyntaf o leia!

Would reiterate everything everyone has said - DON'T WORRY! DS started French maternelle at 2, didn't speak once in the first year, although like yours he appeared to understand instructions etc, second year started to speak odd words, year 3 bit more, now this is his 4th year (OMG where has it gone?!) and his French is indistinguishable from his classmates. There is a new teacher at school this year, who didn't realize he wasn't French, all children learn to speak their Mother tongue at different rates, one day you will overhear him speaking and be amazed how much he can speak!

Ok, I'm worried again!
DS1 now nearly 4. Was born here in Spain, has been at nursery since he was 18months, has been at a tiny village school for a couple of months and still very few words of Spanish. He can count to ten quite proudly and say his please and thank yous but that's it. He still seems to understand people, more or less but what worries me more is that he occasionaly comes out with some utter rubbish that sounds like he is trying to speak Spanish. Is it possible that he doesn't know how to speak it after all this time?

Hi chicca,
I wouldn't worry, maybe he doesn't realize that they are two different languages. My eldest used to get very mad with my mum, because she couldn't understand why my mum couldn't understand her talking when she could understand my mum, and of course I could understand her whatever language she was speaking. I think that he will realize that the kids speak another language. May be when he tries to make friends, you could help him reminding him that he has to speak spanish to them and translating into spanish whatever your DS wants to tell the other boys. I used to do it with my DD1 when she wanted to speak to either my mum or any other kid, and explained to the other kids that she did speak english as we lived in England.