Concerns about the 17 month old

[sophiathefirst1]

My little girl is 17 months on the 25th - let's say from day 1 she hasn't been the easiest.

Screamed solidly until she was around 6 months but put this down to CMPA & silent reflux.

I just feel in my heart that there is something not quite right. For example..

She hates everyone apart from me and dh (and she's only just started to become fond of dh, he couldn't even hold her until 2months ago) screams if anyone enters the house or looks at her, she screamed the entire bus journey the other day? I have no idea why.

Hates the pushchair/car seat - always has since birth.

Hates noise - hairdryer, drilling, Hoover, microwave, motorbikes, the noise of the shower - screams till blue in the face and I am unable to calm her down.

Doesn't speak - says mum, daa and baa.

Only eats plain food and eats the same thing everyday. Plain toast, plain pasta, plain rice etc.

Screams when I take my top off? (Quite offended by that one)

Screams when we enter any shops.

You get the idea...

I mentioned to the Heath visitor today who said she may be slightly on the autistic spectrum?

Anyone have similar issues? Familiar with anything I just mentioned? Tell me your stories please?

It sounds like she has some sensory issues. I would not be too worried about the lack of speech at her age providing she is communicating in other ways. How is her joint attention? Does she point or show things to you? How is her understanding? I would try doing the mchat with her and if she does not pass take it to your GP to push for a referral. www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child.
My 10 year old was similar at her age and does have a diagnosis of autism but he did not have any speech or babbling at all at her age.

I have a 20mo DS and have had similar concerns as you. Much of the same issues as you for example he had awful silent reflux,lack of communication, wants the same plain foods (won’t eat any carbs !) which seems to be a texture thing. He is very set in routine and even going for a walk wants to go the same way every time. I’ve spent quite a long time worrying something is wrong and being convinced he ‘isn’t normal’. I’ve raised it with doctors (he had another health issue) and HV. Everything thinks he is fine but certainly too early to tell. These things could be indicators but also are entirely within the realms of normal for a toddler too.

Anyway the point I was going to make was it’s too early to get a proper diagnosis even though I agree you should voice your concerns and ask for help. But don’t spend all this time worrying something is wrong. I just adapt- want to eat the same foods that’s fine. Does your DS point to things and look for your attention? Do you understand what she wants without her speaking ? As a PP said shared/joint attention is something to look at here. My son hasn’t been around people and I know what he wants so hasn’t needed to speak really !

Im trying to stop worrying about thing being wrong. I’ll use his 2 year check to see how things are going and will see how things are as time goes on.

I have no idea what to suggest but it seems from what you've said that the bloody pandemic will have been no help. Things like leaving the house, the car seat, going in shops, only settling for you or your dh do seem like they could be down to the restrictions and her not being used to these things.
I don't know how you would address these though, I guess gentle introduction?
All she's known will be lockdown, masks, space etc.
Good luck with it. It sounds really hard and I'm sure you're doing really well with her.

Thanks all.

No she doesn't point and like PP mentioned - she just cries but I just hand her what I think so yeah she probably doesn't feel the need to do these things.

Lockdown definitely hasn't helped!

The health visitor has suggested nursery for her maybe 2x a week. I'm starting to think this is a good idea as we are both just stuck in this rut, me and her day and night and has been this way for her whole life. I think it may be good for her.

What do you think?

I think nursery is a good idea especially if it gives you a break so you feel more refreshed in the time you spend with her.

My son never pointed, we introduced pecs (picture exchange) quite early which helps with communication and any frustration. If she is imitating you could try signing but that never worked for us. A good nursery should be able to help with this.

Some of this is familiar from my son, who has been referred for potentially having ASD. He would scream if we went in certain shops, scream in his buggy/the bus and react strongly to noises. We don’t have a diagnosis yet though. Now that he is at school he will come home and say things like “School was too noisy today Mummy”. I guess shops and buses when he was little became overwhelming for him, all the people and noise must have been very stressful, and so he reacted by crying.

I know you are worried but my tricky toddler has now turned into an affectionate and loving little boy. He has anxiety and difficulty with some things, but I wouldn’t want to change him. Your daughter won’t be like this forever. She will mature and develop, life will become easier x

@sophiathefirst1 my DS starts nursery in 3 weeks, 2 days a week. Hoping it’ll help with his development. His consultant thought it would be helpful and if there is anything that needs more attention in his behaviour, I’m sure the nursery will pick up on it. You could try some baby groups as they re open if not ?

Nursery has been brilliant for my ds. Granted, he has gone since he was 9 months so it's all he knows but we swapped his nursery when he turned 2 for various reasons and his new nursery has bought him on loads. He speaks in full sentences, tells us about his day, counts from 1-10, and is really comfortable around other people, but still wary of stranger which I think is good. They'll also be able to pick up on things and have experience in identifying behaviours in children which we might not notice. Likewise, they may be able to help with behaviours you have noticed.
I wish you all the best op, look after yourself in all this. Being a parent is hard, we sometimes need someone to remind us to look after ourselves too

Have you got to the bottom of all her allergies? CMPA a can often come hand and hand with allergies to other foods.