How to help my toddler interact with other kids

[Mamabear04]

My 17mo is becoming more and more interactive and when I take her to the park she seems interested in other kids which is great. The problem is that she is not saying very many words and instead when she wants to say something says very loudly 'ahhh' in a frustrated way and today I noticed that it seemed to upset the other kids at the play park. I really think she wants to join in and play rather than her wanting to have their toys/take their go on trampoline etc but the kids are mistaking her for being upset or angry at them.

I'm finding it hard to know what to do because covid has made it so hard to interact with strangers. I try to encourage my LO to use words as much as possible and say things like "quiet" and "gentle voice" when she does it at home but I don't think she is old enough to grasp it yet. How do I help her to interact better with other kids? I just don't see any of the other toddlers at the playpark behaving like her - I don't think she has any additional needs or anything like that I think she is just loud and frustrated about not being able to do things yet if that makes sense. I feel so sorry for her as well because I want her to be liked and make friends. Any advice?

Toddlers are all weirdos in their own way.

You are stressing about yours going ahh, another mum is probably stressing that all their toddler does is cling to their legs, someone else is lying in bed worrying that their toddler was too rough and another wondering if their child is going to get picked on because they can already recognise and name all the less common dinosaurs.

You don't need to do anything.

I think 17m is very young to play with other children. Children that age may play near other children but playing with is a bit older. My daughter just turned 2 and she can’t play with other kids yet really, beyond handing a ball to each other or taking turns to kick it with a lot of parental interaction.

My daughter also points and makes noises at other children in the park, but I think that’s because she thinks it’s her park and doesn’t want to share it 😂 whenever she does that I just say ‘everyone can use the park, let’s take turns’ or similar and if the other child looks unsure I’ll say ‘it’s fine, please ignore her’ or ‘it’s ok, you can go up too’ similar (assuming they’re old enough that they’re not supervised immediately by an adult - if they are we tend to just have a laugh about how ridiculous toddlers are).

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry. Sounds very normal.

DD is 16 months and nursery list her interests as 'other children'. They report she interacts well and is learn in turn taking and sharing resources. They also say she babbles away as though talking to them.

When we see another child out and about she either stares at them without smiling like she's staring into their soul or she shouts at them. (A bit like your aaaah). The other children mostly stare back, point or yell baby (she is only just walking so usually in her push chair).

I'm just saying that despite that behaviour she is still marked as having great interactive skills, so don't have high expectations of what good interactions look like.

At 17 months she might be just starting to observe other children but she won’t be wanting to play with them. Children start to play alongside each other but not actively with each other at around 2. They don’t fully play together until closer to 4. What you’ve described all sounds very normal. As long as you make sure she doesn’t snatch toys and takes turns on the slide etc then it’s fine! You don’t need to do anything. If you’re interested then I’d suggest reading up on the 6 Stages of Play.