Going Back to Work

[CSMummyx]

I am just looking for a bit of reassurance really.. I have no choice as financially we are on our knees but I have been offered a full time job starting in May (date tbc) and my little boy will just be 5 months old.

Has anyone else done this and it's been alright? I am just so gutted that I am going to be mainly not there for the weaning process and just generally going to miss him every day.

Is he too young to be put to nursery/grandparents 5 days a week?

Be nice please.. I am really struggling with this but I just don't have any other option.

No hes not too young
I was born in 1990 my mum had 6 weeks off then had to return to her full time placement for her medical degree- she then qualified as a dr and worked 3 nights which meant days sleeping so may aswell have been full time. I was cared for by grandparents and a childminder and I am fine

My own dd went to nursery 2 days from 9 months so just a little older than yours and grandparents 3 days

If i had another i would plan to return to work sooner

Ultimately whats the alternatives? Surely a stable home and income is better than years of unmanageable debt? Loosing the house? Stress and worry?

@Capital76

No hes not too young I was born in 1990 my mum had 6 weeks off then had to return to her full time placement for her medical degree- she then qualified as a dr and worked 3 nights which meant days sleeping so may aswell have been full time. I was cared for by grandparents and a childminder and I am fine

My own dd went to nursery 2 days from 9 months so just a little older than yours and grandparents 3 days

If i had another i would plan to return to work sooner

Ultimately whats the alternatives? Surely a stable home and income is better than years of unmanageable debt? Loosing the house? Stress and worry?

Fair play to your mum that must have been incredibly difficult! Do you have a good bond with your mum?

So we would be looking at 3 days nursery and 2 days grandparents so much and such the same. How did you feel about it at the time?

Just out of curiosity why would you choose to return to work sooner if you had another?

My sensible head says the same as you but I am ultimately more concerned that it will affect him. I'm really glad to know that you didn't feel abandoned though x

Yes me and my mum have a brilliant relationship and now she has my daughter while i work and does school pic ups a few days and she works part time now

Personally for me it would be because my career is important to me and i wouldny want to slip down from my current role and from seeing how resilient kids are and adaptable I wouldnt have any issues going back sooner

Are you a single mum? I do have a partner who worked full time too they never felt any guilt about going back to work after a few weeks and they have a fantastic relationship with dd

Probably make me sound like my career is my life- its not but I do love it- I had no issues going back full time because I started to see colleagues mostly men who were not up to the job being scoped for promotion and my competitive nature thought no way I can do this job

And thanks to support network aka my mum mil nursery and Dp I could do that.

Lots of people dont have that support so i know i was lucky

But ultimately mine was a personal choice i didnt need to go back full time i wanted to

Sounds like you dont want to but need to financially so that must be a battle

I went back when my daughter was 5 months, she's 7 months now.
She goes to the childminder 3.5 days a week and family one day a week.

I am so glad to be back at work, I struggled being off, but I'm getting a bit fed up of the well meaning 'I can't believe you're back full time!' Comments.

It might be worth looking for a child minder rather than nursery if you're worried? Ours is great, a home from home environment and they're so flexible with her routine (or lack of) and just fit in with whatever she feels like doing/sleeping/eating

I went back to work when dd was 11 months, and at the same time another team member returned after just under 6 months off. Her dd settled into nursery much much quicker than mine, and is walking and talking more than mine too. So starting nursery young hasn't hindered her at all. My dd also loves going but just took her longer to settle there.

I have a ten month old and went back to work when she was six months.
I enjoy my job and the pay is worth my while. I was sick of maternity and lockdown by the end.
The childminder is amazing and I feel she gives her situations with the other kids that she will learn from etc that I could never give her. Pros and cons for sure but I have a happy baby and a happy mummy!

I went back to work after 6m with both my girls, so taking into account a week or 2 pre birth thru would have both been in the 5m's, 5 days with my first and 4 days with my second.
DD2 was a bottle refuser and with HV's advice we weaned early so she was having some pureed food before she started.
Nursery were great, making sure we led in terms of introducing new food and would only offer what we had already given at home for the first months or so.
I would suggest writing out a weaning plan to give both nursery and grandparents for when you are ready to wean, so you can control how it happens and the speed.

I would say for both mine being at nursery so young has meant they are quite comfortable and confident with new people and in groups of mainly adults as they were used to forming those relationships with the different people at nursery.
One big benefit was not having the understanding at a younger age of being 'left' by mum, I know a number of children/parents that found it tough once over the age of 1 starting nursery if they had really only ever been with either parent.

I hope it all goes well for you and just remember you are doing what best for your family now and longer term

I only had oml (26 weeks) when had my first child, as late I went back to work when he was 5 months old... Childminder 3 days, grandparents 2....he was fine, I was but found it hard work...
My second child I went back at 9 months and that was much harder.... Mainly because he was so much more interesting by then....I'd enjoyed mat leave and quite got into the Grove...

@Capital76

Yes me and my mum have a brilliant relationship and now she has my daughter while i work and does school pic ups a few days and she works part time now

Personally for me it would be because my career is important to me and i wouldny want to slip down from my current role and from seeing how resilient kids are and adaptable I wouldnt have any issues going back sooner

Are you a single mum? I do have a partner who worked full time too they never felt any guilt about going back to work after a few weeks and they have a fantastic relationship with dd

Ahh brilliant this is good to hear.

Whilst I'm not overly focussed on a career as such, I've always earned well and I enjoy a work/life balance. I was furloughed last year for 6 months then let go towards the end of my pregnancy so feel my 'maternity leave' has been marred. I love the days with my little boy but I miss using my brain too.

No not a single mum. My partner works full time so can't use him as an option either. He dotes on our son too and our son just giggles all the time with him so I suppose that's proof he's happy with daddy too even though he's away all day!

@Capital76

Probably make me sound like my career is my life- its not but I do love it- I had no issues going back full time because I started to see colleagues mostly men who were not up to the job being scoped for promotion and my competitive nature thought no way I can do this job

And thanks to support network aka my mum mil nursery and Dp I could do that.

Lots of people dont have that support so i know i was lucky

But ultimately mine was a personal choice i didnt need to go back full time i wanted to

Sounds like you dont want to but need to financially so that must be a battle

Haha yeah I see where you are coming from!

Yeah we do have both grandmas happy to take him once a week so we have that extra support too.

Thank you.. personally I've always worked my butt off and paid my bills but £21.05 child benefit weekly just doesn't cut it I'm afraid. Don't get me started on entitlements because that's another post

@Dgall

I went back when my daughter was 5 months, she's 7 months now. She goes to the childminder 3.5 days a week and family one day a week.

I am so glad to be back at work, I struggled being off, but I'm getting a bit fed up of the well meaning 'I can't believe you're back full time!' Comments.

It might be worth looking for a child minder rather than nursery if you're worried? Ours is great, a home from home environment and they're so flexible with her routine (or lack of) and just fit in with whatever she feels like doing/sleeping/eating

Glad to know I'm not the only one. How have you dealt with weaning?

@Sweetpea1989

I have a ten month old and went back to work when she was six months. I enjoy my job and the pay is worth my while. I was sick of maternity and lockdown by the end. The childminder is amazing and I feel she gives her situations with the other kids that she will learn from etc that I could never give her. Pros and cons for sure but I have a happy baby and a happy mummy!

Thanks for your message x

Do you feel like you're missing out on anything? Or are you even more happy to see your little one now that you are away through the day?

@Rugbymumof2

I went back to work after 6m with both my girls, so taking into account a week or 2 pre birth thru would have both been in the 5m's, 5 days with my first and 4 days with my second. DD2 was a bottle refuser and with HV's advice we weaned early so she was having some pureed food before she started. Nursery were great, making sure we led in terms of introducing new food and would only offer what we had already given at home for the first months or so. I would suggest writing out a weaning plan to give both nursery and grandparents for when you are ready to wean, so you can control how it happens and the speed.

I would say for both mine being at nursery so young has meant they are quite comfortable and confident with new people and in groups of mainly adults as they were used to forming those relationships with the different people at nursery.
One big benefit was not having the understanding at a younger age of being 'left' by mum, I know a number of children/parents that found it tough once over the age of 1 starting nursery if they had really only ever been with either parent.

I hope it all goes well for you and just remember you are doing what best for your family now and longer term

Thanks for your message. Great to know they really helped with weaning.

That's exactly what I want for my son, to be confident and happy in the presence of others. Selfishly I want him to be a tiny bit clingy to me but at the same time I'd be glad to see him not break his heart any time I had to leave him!

Sorry on the late reply. I don’t feel as if I’m missing out on anything and it’s a totally different environment to home, she gets showered with kisses here and 1-1 attention where at the childminders she’s in a group and learning from the other kids, it feels right to me.
Good luck :)

I went back at 7 months due to financial reasons and wasn't happy about it but really it was no problem for my daughter or our bond (she's 6 now). She settled well and thrived with her childminder. I'm pregnant again and can probably afford over a year off this time and I'm worried it will be harder to settle a 1 year old into childcare.

Start weaning on a weekend so you can be there for the first few meals. It's not much fun after that! It will be lovely that your baby will get all that time with her grandparents.

Honestly- don't sweat it, she'll be fine. I think its lovely she will be able to build a bond with her grandparents too! Great ideas in your other replies, I guess the only thing I'd add is with other people looking after her just be consistent as you can between you and don't let any guilt about being at work let you change your behaviour management
I've always felt being at work made me appreciate being a mum more so made me better at it tbh. I work full time and feel like we have a really good balance now, we all get quality time together.

Older 2 were just a bit older than yours when they went to full time nursery, second went to mixture of childminder and nursery which suited us all much better. Nothing ever phased them.my 10 month old is still settling into childminder, it'll come. Worrying about income and other feelings I had that came with not working made me emotionally unavailable when I was with them, so on balance and looking back, always the right thing for us all.

Any teachers on here that have decided to leave after having a baby?
I had a very good teaching job that I had to leave due to not having part time hours being accepted. After having a baby during lockdown, I felt this was really important to our family. I found another job that accepted 4 days for a year. Starting a new job with a baby that wakes on average 3 times a night is killing me. I’ve felt incredibly stressed the whole time I’ve been back at work.
I am coming towards the decision of leaving, which i feel awful about. I’m not sure I’m making the right decision. Am I just able to pick back up when he goes to school?