Three year old suddenly a nightmare!

[Toastedsesame]

My son is 3y3m. He still takes a nap during the day of 1h between 1.30-2.30. He has always been a sleepy baby sleeping 7-7 with a 2h nap during the day. He's always been what other people call an 'easy baby' and he's well behaved.

But recently he's turned into a complete nightmare! Moody, crying at everything, breaking things, hitting the dog, arguing about anything and everything. I don't even want to take him anywhere at the moment because of his tantrums over nothing.

When we put him down at 7 he calls us back up numerous times for random ailments and things like:
tuck teddy in
my finger/toe/ foot hurts
i want my light on / i want my light off
my sock is wonky

He's staying awake til 9ish calling us. We have tried cutting out the daytime nap, or doing every other day but he is still a complete nightmare all day and you don't even get an hour let up to sit down and collect your thoughts. I am also 11weeks pregnant and struggling with fatigue so I feel truly at the end of my tether with him.

Any ideas / advice v much welcome.

bump :(

Hi!

Sorry I don’t have much advice. I actually posted about my little girl who is 3 in July and I am starting to struggle as we get to age two. Mostly with taking her anywhere!

DD can sometimes be quite challenging at bed time but if she’s in one of those moods we just stop answering her and don’t engage. I tend to just say it’s bedtime now sweetheart and just ignore where possible. We sit with her but that’s it.

We also do bedtime about 8 now as she still needs her nap but it’s a nightmare if she goes down too early and takes forever!

Drop the nap! The only way at 3 is to drop the nap. That'll make bedtime issues much easier. They don't really need a daytime nap at 3yrs.

You may find for a week or two after dropping nap they will be tired in afternoon but they get used to no nap really quickly.

As for the tantrums it's probably just the normal 3yr tantrums. Pushing boundaries etc. With mine I was just really firm and started doing the naughty spot/time outs if they weren't behaving well. Or keeping them busy and occupied when they start playing up. Also giving them choices sometimes where possible so they feel in control sometimes a bit themselves. Eg. Give them choice of two different trousers or choice of which of two seats to sit on or choice of what plate to have breakfast on etc. But they have to not complain when we make other non negotiable choices for them. Eg. Having to wear a sun hat etc
Hope this helps!

Both my daughters suddenly started to resist bedtime around 3yrs and a 7pm bedtime was turning into 9pm. But literally stopped nap and few days later they literally dropped off the minute they were in bed!

@Toastedsesame exactly the same here. Ours was also always an easy baby and amazing sleeper, we didn't really get the terrible twos, then he turned three and it's hit us like a ton of bricks.

I think for us it's a lot due to sleep regression. He is waking up crazy early, 5am or sometimes 4. I do think he probably needs to transition to no nap but we haven't tried it yet.

With the behaviour, after a couple of weeks of being consistent, not engaging/ignoring bad behaviour I feel like it is getting a bit better.

I'm also pregnant so this setback is making me feel so anxious and disheartened at times. I don't even dare tell him he's having a sibling for now in case it unsettles him even more... good luck!

Thanks everyone. I did wonder if some of it was normal and to be expected for a three year old. I think we have kind of been spoiled up until this point, as he's always been so good.

He came home from nursery on Friday an absolute wreck, he was so knackered (he never naps there) we put him to bed at 6.45 and he spent the next two hours calling us in for various ailments. He woke up 3 times during the night crying uncontrollably. It was so horrible. We think it was wind because everytime we went in and held him he would blow off after a few mins and then lay back down ready to sleep. Yesterday he was up at 6.45am and grumpy straight away. We decided to give him a big nap to try and "reset" him 🤷‍♀️ he slept for 2h between 1-3pm and then we took him for a long walk after - which he was really good for. We waited til 8pm to put him to bed and he went straight down, no problem and no wake ups. He's just got up.

What a whirlwind.

I'm sorry, I know it's not funny for you but those requests such as a wonky sock made me laugh. I'm glad you had a better night last night, hopefully this will be restart you were looking for!

It might be the pregnancy? He doesn't have to know the fact of your pregnancy to notice that you're tired, have less energy to play, possibly have a secret with DP you not letting him in on? They can be really sensitive to changes. If tell him about it as soon as you feel able so he doesn't get unnerved by changes he doesn't understand.

If also drop or at least limit the nap, out out him to bed later. You're lucky with the 7-7, my 4yo rarely sleeps past 6! Imho older siblings often drop their nap when a baby comes anyway, major fomo and they don't want to let the baby have all your attention while they're upstairs on their own.

@MaMaD1990 he is ridiculous honestly! I can see the funny side, just not at the time!

@Crowsaregreat Did wonder if it had anything to do with it. He knows about the baby and sometimes is happy about it ("I'll share my yoghurts with the baby") and sometimes not so much ("I just want it to be me and mummy and daddy") so it is a lot for him to take in, I accept that.

He has been much better today, like a breath of fresh air and he went straight down at 7pm. No nap because we were out all day. Plan of action is on nap days we'll put him down at 8, no nap days will be 7.

I’ve just written a similar post OP.
Mine only naps when he’s with the childminder 4 days a week and it doesn’t seem to affect his sleep either way. He sleeps all night for his dad but for me he’s a nightmare !!