Sleep training help

[Lolarosemama]

So we’ve had a successful week of sleep training in the night. He’s sleeping for much longer and falling asleep quicker and quicker.

The naps are a whole different story!! We’ve had to give up twice because anything past an hour of crying feels so so cruel (it already feels awful full stop). Is it essential to sleep train naps? Will it make it more difficult at night if we don’t? Please share your experience!

I never sleep trained naps. I used the Ferber method for night-time but the naps just came in their own time. My daughter is now 22 months and puts herself to sleep happily in her cot at bedtime (for 11-12 hours) and at nap time (2-3 hours).

You don't mention your baby's age but some things just come with time. An hour of crying sounds very stressful for everyone. It's really hard I know but in the early days you just need to go with the flow a bit.

Thanks @drowsy !
Hubby is insisting we continue training for naps but I don’t see the point when it’s causing ds stress, stopping him get sleep, and breaking my heart!! Especially as it’s working in the night time - that’s the goal really isn’t it!

Oh he’s six months

At six months I was either feeding my daughter to sleep and letting her sleep on me, or she would sleep in the sling. Everything I read said sleep training was much harder for naps and the couple of times I tried it was too upsetting. I found it all very frustrating as I felt I had no freedom at all. She wouldn't sleep in her buggy like all the other babies! But over time it got easier.

That's great the nights are going well. He is young so don't worry the cot naps will come. Perhaps set a limit on what you are comfortable trying for a cot nap and then if he is still unsettled then scrap it and take him for a pram walk/drive/pop in bouncer etc. to encourage sleep. What gap are you leaving between wake up and nap one?

He normally doesn’t last longer than 2.5-3 hrs before nap one!

Six months seems a bit young to me to be sleep training whatever that is. Surely they just go to sleep when they are ready and want to be near mum and dad all the time?

^ 6 months is fine for sleep training. If parents waited only until their babies were ready some of them would go insane. Often the babies are ready but for whatever reason can’t go down in the cot without a nudge.

@Plumtree391 are you a parent? I only ask because I’m pretty sure you would have heard of it if so. It’s perfectly fine, I’m not a monster and I love my baby to the moon 🤣

Also thanks everyone for your advice! We’ve decided not to train for naps after what you’ve said as I’d rather he was happy and well rested! Especially as nights are going well

[quote Lolarosemama]@Plumtree391 are you a parent? I only ask because I’m pretty sure you would have heard of it if so. It’s perfectly fine, I’m not a monster and I love my baby to the moon 🤣[/quote]
Yes I am a parent but the baby stage was long ago. I may have heard of sleep training but wouldn't have known how it was done. It sounds as though it's a case of what works for your baby.

Lolarosemama, excellent!

@Plumtree391 that’s fair enough!! Thanks 😄

Good luck!

I had the same problem sleep training for naps i ditched the cot and took DS for a walk in his pram at nap time. I did this for about a week then when he was use to x time being nap time i tried again with the cot. We still did ferber but he went down much better.

Oh that’s really interesting, very helpful @Clementine8 thank you! I think we’ll try the same. He went down in 10 mins tonight after sleeping on me in the day, so I’m glad it didn’t undo any work!

I think an hour is too long for a child to cry. Leaving babies to cry without a response can cause brain damage. If she’s that distressed for that long I would stop doing it.

@OolieMacdoolie

I think an hour is too long for a child to cry. Leaving babies to cry without a response can cause brain damage. If she’s that distressed for that long I would stop doing it.

I can't imagine leaving a child to cry for an hour but has anyone on here suggested that?

@Plumtree391 isn’t that what OP meant by ‘We’ve had to give up twice because anything past an hour of crying feels so so cruel’?

Sorry if I’ve misunderstood.

I don't think you've misunderstood but I would have thought 'anything past an hour of crying seems so cruel', means that 'an hour' is OK, which in my opinion is too long.

Yes, that’s what I was saying too. An hour is too long for a child to cry.

Which if you read was also my point 🙃 we didn’t leave him once and we’re constantly shushing and stroking him, but thank you mumsnet for delivering on the judgeyness

*we were

For those of you that were actually helpful - he sleeps through the night now, goes down happily. Nap times are still with me so I get the best of both worlds - snuggles in the day and a bit more sleep at night.