Pulled elbow mum guilt

[mishmash13]

DS (2 years) had a pulled elbow today and had to get it popped back in at A&E. I've never heard of it before and didn't realise it was quite common. Everything is fine now but I just can't stop feeling so guilty.
Firstly, because it was my fault as I was swinging him around and obviously too roughly and secondly because I am just terrible in a crisis.
It was awful to see him in pain and his arm at a weird angle. I just panicked and was really upset and not calm when I should have been to keep him calm. I just fall to pieces when something medical goes wrong like this and just go into some kind of hyper panic mode.
Anyone else useless in a crisis or just me? Looking for reassurance I guess as just feel like a rubbish mum at the moment tbh.

Poor you and your poor DS, I hope he's feeling better soon. Try not to feel guilty, loads of parents swing their DC round like that as no one realises this can happen. I only know about it because the same thing as you've described happened to the DD of a lady I used to chat to at playgroups.
I'm sure you handled it just fine, you probably felt more panicked than you came across. Anyone would be really upset seeing their DC in pain, it's completely normal. It must have been very traumatic but I'm sure you'll feel a bit better in a day or two, as will your DS. Hopefully in a few months you won't even be able to remember which arm it was!

Oh heavens I remember the first time our eldest did this, it's very painful for them but incredibly short lived once it's popped back in. He did it a few times afterwards too (and he was by no means boisterous) between the ages of 2 and 3 but after that it never happened again.

Don't worry yourself too much about it, if they're prone to it, it's surprisingly easy and you didn't know. I had never ever heard of it when we got to a&e but the doctors were so calm it was like he'd had too short a hair cut!! Extra tea/wine for you tonight and a big hug for him

Thank you @RandomUsernameHere for your kind words. That's nice of you and it really does make me feel a bit better. DS is totally back to normal and laughing and smiling as if nothing has happened but I'm still shaken. You're right though hopefully won't remember the arm soon. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Thanks @Neighneigh. Yeh the doctor was so cool about it. She had popped back in about a second after we'd sat down. It was amazing honestly. I had no idea that this was even a thing. It was a horrible shock. Thanks for the kind words

I’ve done it twice to my eldest dd. You wasnt even aware it could happen op, don’t feel bad. I had two more children after her and NEVER picked them up by their arms, I actually cringe when I see other parents do it to their children.

Done it twice with youngest dd it is horrible but very common!

Ha! That happened to mine when she was at Tumble Tots. I was registering her on arrival and she tried to pull away to get to the equipment. Fortunately the hall was only a mile or two from the hospital, and it was popped back easily. She was totally unbothered once it was back.

This can happen so easily when they're little and things haven't fused yet, but it's something people only seem to know about if it's happened to them or someone they know. When I see parents swinging their kids, I want to say something, but would sound very interfering.

It's so very very hard seeing our kids in pain, isn't it?

Thank you for the replies. It seems like it's quite common. At least I won't be swinging him around like that again!

This happened with Dd about 4 years ago. She was holding hands with me in a shop then just dropped herself to the floor and my instinct was to keep hold of her bit is dislocated her elbow.

She couldn’t talk at that age and I didn’t realise immediately that she was injured. I spent 10 minutes thinking she was fussing then dashed to the MIU. Felt terrible.

Also happened about 25 years ago when I was babysitting. Holding a toddlers hand while we walked down some steps and he slipped. I didn’t let go and he dislocated his elbow.

Both times I was told it was very common and that you need to go against your instinct and to let go to avoid injury.... easier said than done!

Yep us too. My DH did it when swinging DD in the garden one afternoon. The worst bit was that we didn't take her to the dr until the next day 😬

She's behind in her speech and also very dramatic when it comes to injuries and it's not unusual for her to hold her finger/arm/toe for a long time after she hurts herself for a small injury. Even a small cut will take a week of savlon and plasters before she forgets about it.

I contacted our GP who was able to do it for us & she was fine by the time we left the room holding her teddy with her sore arm.

My DH was upset for a long time afterwards,

It's horrible when they're hurt but you did the right thing and got it sorted quickly!

Me too Op. It really is very common. My daughter was about 20 months and I was holding her hand. She tripped and I didn't let go.
It only happened the once for us and she's now a teenager, has no recollection and no issues with her elbow.

It's awful to see them in pain though isn't it.

Its called nurse maids elbow. I've had it myself as an adult and luckily my gp popped it back in for me to save me a trip to a n e.

I’ve genuinely lost count of the number of pulled elbows I’ve seen whilst working in A&E - they are so common and so easy to happen, really don’t worry about it!

DD1 gave DD2 a pulled elbow “helping” her up off the floor, they were about 5 and 3. DD2 then had a second one about age 6 when falling awkwardly in a park & DH grabbing her hand to stop her. A&E did an x ray because she was a bit old for a pulled elbow, but we knew that’s what it was.

It doesn’t need to be rough, some kids are just predisposed to it if the arm is pulled on at the right angle. I cringe now every time I see parents swinging their kids!

You need to get over the panic. It makes any situation ten times worse for the injured person. You don’t see paramedics panicking!

Another one here. My DP was swinging our DD around when she was 2, she was laughing one minute then crying, I had never heard her cry like that before. We calmed her down but then she wouldn't lift her arm to eat her snack so we knew something was wrong, DP panicked that it was a broken arm but a trip to A&E and they popped it back it, said it was really common. Also 'fixed' her cuddly Iggle Piggle's elbow for her. She was fine and doesn't even remember it now age 4. DP still feels guilty though, but I really wouldn't worry.

Happened to DD1, not on the arm I was holding but on the one that was stroking the cat. DD2 managed it twice. 2nd time the nurse showed me how to replace it myself - never happened again.

A friend's DD used to be able to do it at will, very hypermobile.

Feels terrible when it happens but the pain is gone the instant it's back.