Sleeping problems

[StarDanced]

I have a lovely ds who is just over 2 weeks old. He is breastfed and gaining weight well but I am having problems with his sleep. He will sleep really well when either lying on me or my dh, but he will not sleep independently in his moses basket or next to me crib. I know this is typical of the fourth trimester but I really need him to sleep a little independently.
At the moment I split the night with dh but this will need to be reduced when dh goes back to work. I'm not concerned about broken sleep but I am very worried I will fall asleep with ds on me and it will lead to sids which is why I want to put him down.
So far I have tried warming the cot with a hot water bottle prior to putting ds down, and swaddling ds. He doesn't seem to like the swaddle, but is ok of he has his arms out. I leave him for 5mins when in his cot but he just continues to cry. I can't leave him longer as I am concerned he will wake up older ds and neighbours. Any advice on what to try, or when this particular phase ends, would be greatly appreciated.

Try a Love to Dream swaddle suit. It worked a treat for us with a baby who hated having arms pinned but really needed swaddling. And a dummy?

Assuming to you've been through this before, you know it's just a phase and they change very quickly. Keep trying the cot and things that didn't work the first time round. I personally found 8 weeks a real turning point in terms of baby tolerating being put down.

Thank you. I will try that swaddle. It has been about 4years since I last did the newborn phase and it is all a bit of a blur. 8 weeks as a turning point sounds manageable. I am loving the newborn cuddles, I just want to ensure ds is safe if I get super tired.

I ended up bed sharing for the first 7 months- the lullaby trust has lots of information how to do this safely. He now sleep independently in his own room, needs feeding 1/2 in the night still and my DS is now 17 months.

Thanks. I am nervous about bed sharing but it is probably safer than falling asleep with him. I tried ds in his cot twice last night and he loudly objected. He did spend 20mins awake and fairly happy in it this morning, but he did not fall asleep. Waiting on the arrival of the love to dream swaddle in the hope that it may help.

Good luck with the Love to Dream @StarDanced It really did work for us at around the 6/7 week mark when I would have tried anything to get some sleep! Before that we just had to take it in turns to hold her and walk around with her in a sling to get her back to sleep after feeds. I also would have co-slept, but that didn't work unless I had her lying on my chest which isn't safe.

I used to let the baby fall asleep in my arms then lay the swaddle open on the bed and quickly put her down, zip her up and hold her again in one swift move! The things we do!

Hi. I'm still struggling. My ds likes the new swaddle but he still won't go down. I have also tried safe co-sleeping in a bid to get some rest. It seems that lying on his back is the problem as he screams when I try this too. I'm even more at a loss of how to fix this. My back is getting so sore from lying propped up so he can sleep on my chest and I am getting more exhausted. I can currently nap in the day as DH is on paternity leave but I'm not sure what I will do when he is back to work next week.

If he wont lie on his back at all and cries it could be a bit of silent reflux, my dd2 was the same and ended up on gaviscon for a few weeks which helped a lot. Maybe have a look if he has any other signs? You can also put the crib on a slant so he is propped up more rather than being flat which might make him more comfy on his back.

I worried SO much about SIDS with my first but its so, so rare when you breastfeed unless you fall asleep on a chair or couch. Bedsharing when you bf and don't drink or smoke is just as safe as putting them down in a cot - I find if DD3 won't settle then lying next to me with my heart as close as possible to her ear and me curled around her stroking her and shushing her works almost as well as her sleeping on my chest.

Not everyone loves the idea of it but I used a sleepyhead with my DD in her bed. If he likes feeling cosy he may like the sleepyhead because it cuddles round them and he space doesn't feel so big and scary. Worked a charm on my DD.

Yes, I also had a sleepyhead in the next to me beside my bed. A rolled up towel under the fitted sheet would the same job.

Thanks for all the suggestions. Last night a combination of the love to dream swaddle and a dummy meant he tolerate lying in his crib for two one hour stints. I didn't get to sleep as he needed me shushing and putting my hand on him, but it feels like massive progress.