Panicking school holidays!

[Hamster555]

Panicking about the school hols, there are about 13 wks of holidays in a year plus the inset days, I honestly thought there were about 10 wks not 13! 🤦‍♀️. We both work FTime but even with 10 wks combined leave it's still not a lot of time to cover and then it's the illnesses with stomach and other bugs. We lost my mum and Dad recently and have no other family help. We plan to use holiday clubs & wrap around clubs to manage this as well as our leave. Just feels already like it could be an abs nightmare, I'm sure it actually is and I'm now thinking working part time won't help either surely it would kind of make it harder with less leave! So then I started thinking not working at all seems like the best option! But we can't afford to do that either, crikey how does everyone balance it in the position I'm in? Feel so stupid for feeling like this but i just don't know how this is going to pan out and think I just know it's going to be a bit of a pita! I suppose my question is if you were us how would you do it??

@HastingsIsSuckingDiesel yes I thought as much, perhaps why she hasn't been so supportive prob realised when I got a child! Could be wrong but def had a bumpy ride and been loaded up to sometimes ridiculous proportions that much had to take it further as it was becoming beyond unfair!

@bubbledilema she's in full
Time nursery atm and going to continue with it as long as possible. Just a bit daunting not knowing how or if it'll all work out! I remember my sister being ill so much with bad colds, flu etc as a kid my mum didn't work luckily so it worked but I don't know how on Earth I'd do that and manager full time work without any family support around. I was hardly ill and so far touch wood Lo is doing ok but it's the unknown!

I understand op,I have three and wonder what we'll actually do when I go back to work. If we'd had two MIL would have helped or we could send one to MIL and one to my Mom but three feels too many and then childcare and clubs for three will be so expensive.

So you qualify for help with childcare costs? Does that cover holiday periods too?

"convincing Oh on a CM he's really against it"

Remind him that there are children the world over just like his PFB who go to childminders. It's hardly unusual.

He can deal with the childcare issues and you go to work as normal since he's the one being ridiculous and precious about it.

Working part time can really help if you are able to switch days occassionally, i.e. If your child is ill one day you can then work on your non working day to make up the time.

Personally I think a childminder would be better for you then holiday clubs, as holiday clubs are full on and might be difficult for a young one - a childminder is a more relaxing and homely environment.

Find clubs they will enjoy if you can?
I give mine a choice of clubs so they feel they look forward to them - things like drama, art, tennis etc

[quote Hamster555]@Aurorie11 I need to check my policy I'm in a pickle with this one as I don't think I'd qualify until after I've been there for a year. I had to take a new job and only been there 7 months and sure this is only available once been there a year, I will check the policy though again but sure I didn't qualify but we could be ok if that's right as that's kick in when I need it, if they will agree also thohhh that is, thanks for the tip def worth considering this one! 🙏[/quote]
What about your DH, has he been at his job more than a year?

Take a deep breath. It is doable even without any family help. The best advice I had was to think a couple of holidays in advance but not to try to plan out the next 10 years or you will tie yourself in knots.

So, if DC starts school in September are there any holiday clubs for October half term, would you/DH normally take time off over Christmas, do you have any friends locally that might 'swap' a couple of days of childcare? Parental leave could be a good option for an extra couple of, albeit unpaid, weeks in the summer and saves you some time for Inset days.

Keep an eye on local Facebook groups for details of local clubs/activities. Are there any sports that DC is involved in as they often do things in the holidays. Speak to local childminders as they may have gaps over the holidays if they normally look after teachers' DC. Depending on your employer could you work a few weekends over the year and 'bank' a couple of days to use?

Bizarrely, once we got into a routine, primary school was relatively easy. The harder bit was Y6/7/8 when DC were too old for the holiday clubs but not really old enough to stay at home all day on their own for weeks at a time.

OP obviously childcare is just one aspect of part time (finances/ career progression etc) but actually being PT makes your leave go further. Say you work 3 days and your husband works FT & get 5 weeks leave each, you use yours to cover 5 weeks of hols. All straightforward.However when it's your H's turn to look after the children, he only needs to use 3 days to cover a week as you're there on the other 2 days. His 25 days therefore covers more than 8 weeks (8 × 3 days = 24 days) if that makes sense.

Also do remember your husband is equally responsible for arranging - or doing- the holiday childcare.

I work in HR and it infuriates me that it's always the women saying they need time off for the children- never the men. When what they ask for is not possible and I say 'we can do x for you, what can your husbands work do?' I get a blank look or 'oh they're not flexible at all, he could never ask for that..' I've no issues with giving time off and flexibility when needed but it needs to be for both parents.

Rant over- it's my absolute bugbear!!!

First of all, try not to stress about it too much. Lots of people are in a similar situation. We don't have any family locally who can help out, and we also both work full-time. We manage it by using holiday clubs, and have a spreadsheet so we can keep track of who is off when. We try to have two weeks off as a family in the summer, and one of the half terms too. Then we stagger leave between us. We always work out what dates holiday clubs are running and plan leave around that - for example during the Xmas holiday there is no holiday club so we have to make sure we book time off then. Similarly for inset days, and holidays which aren't full weeks (ie if schools go back on a wed, we have to take leave on the Mon and Tues). We would have to use holiday club less if we had no time off together, but I think it's important to have family time. Our 7-year old loves holiday club, do don't feel guilty about it!

It will work out. I have done nursery, childminder and holiday clubs. Mine both loved the childminders ( they retired unfortunately or we would still use them) the youngest likes holiday club the eldest tolerates it but could be left alone now. I think mine are at the opposite end now, youngest is 9 and a bit too old for the holiday club we have found ( he is not hugely sporty so sports clubs are largely out) but is too young to be left with his sister (she’s about to turn 13 and happy to be left to her own devices rather than dragged to holiday club) We have struggled a bit this year as a lot of after school/holiday clubs aren’t back yet, hopefully will be better for the summer!

It's all fine.

Holiday clubs, plan your leave, and swap playdates with her friends parents.

No need to panic.

Preschool my DC was in full time nursery X5 days a week. That was easy. Once into reception we used an after school club that wasn't attached to the school. During holidays they did whole day cover from 7.45 - 6.00 . The more general activity clubs didn't have the hours - so football club would start at 10.00 and finish at 3.00 . So pretty useless really. We used the after school club successfully until into year 7 when DC no longer wanted to attend (not cool apparently!) . They would have taken DC until 16 though if we'd wanted. I also went down to 4 days a week. And negotiated that for inset days I would have them as unpaid leave. I had wanted a childminder pick up /drop off/ school holiday cover but I left it too late to find one. And DC settled into the after school club and they covered our needs so was easier for her to stay with them. Secondary is trickier as you don't want them trailing round the streets or just sat in their rooms all day... So it's more a negotiation with friends and the shorter clubs. Depends on temperament of DC though!

Your oh seems to not be keen about childminders and other parents etc. So what is his suggestion? Why do you need to convince him? What other options is he putting on the table?

I actually haven’t found school holidays difficult to manage at all. The short days are tricky. But holidays have been fine.

I get 28 days plus bank holidays and two additional weeks when my employer closes at Christmas and Easter. Dh is self employed so technically has no annual leave but can take off as needed, though it’s unpaid.

I generally worked compressed hours so had Friday off. We used holiday club Tuesday to Thursday and then one of us would take the Monday off, depending on who was most busy.

It’s really been no trouble and most years there’s a mad scramble to use up AL or carry it over at the end of the year, so I’ve never run out.

@Shouldbedoing

You can often do a Salary Sacrifice scheme for a tax break on registered childcare.

That closed in 2018.

It’s tax free childcare now which is done outside of payroll direct with HMRC.

@mindutopia

I actually haven’t found school holidays difficult to manage at all. The short days are tricky. But holidays have been fine.

I get 28 days plus bank holidays and two additional weeks when my employer closes at Christmas and Easter. Dh is self employed so technically has no annual leave but can take off as needed, though it’s unpaid.

I generally worked compressed hours so had Friday off. We used holiday club Tuesday to Thursday and then one of us would take the Monday off, depending on who was most busy.

It’s really been no trouble and most years there’s a mad scramble to use up AL or carry it over at the end of the year, so I’ve never run out.

You’re getting 8 days more than basic holidays plus another 2 weeks. That’s why you don’t struggle!

For someone getting 20 days paid + bank holidays it’s much harder.

DS used to have to go to holiday club/ day care/ crèche (we live abroad and I'm not sure what to call it) two days a week during the summer holidays and he loved it. He did different things, ate different food, played with other children, and got spoiled rotten by the staff who used to practise their English with him.
Why is your DP so against a CM? Lots of children love it!

DD goes to holiday club and absolutely loves it so I never feel guilty. They do so many fun things and she has friends there - she says it’s more fun than being home all week.

I work 3 days p/w so tend to book her in for those and then enjoy the other days together.

We don’t use it at Christmas as DH and I usually take a big chunk of leave then and enjoy lots of family time and visits to extended family.

I’m a lone parent so it can be tricky, the key is being organised and planning as soon as you can.

I have my annual leave, I then either use unpaid parental leave or I buy additional holiday. Parental leave has to be taken in week long blocks, where as additional holiday doesn’t have that stipulation. I also work four short days a week, and I have the luxury of working from home, so I can do some work in the holidays if I’m organised. This year we are going to trial him doing a few 2/3 night stays with Grandma and the odd day with his uncle.

You can both take parental leave after 12 months of employment, you can also both ask for flexible working, working compressed hours over fewer days reduces the need for childcare in the holidays. You could also see if you could afford for you both to go part time, e.g four standard days meaning you only need childcare three shorter days a week.