2 under 3 - how do you manage?

[pawpatrolwife]

Has anyone got or had 2 children under 3? I would love to know if it's as stressful as I'm thinking it will be. Just found out I'm pregnant (not planned) DS will be 25 months when baby arrives. DS will be still going to nursery 3 days a week as he does now. DH off weekends so I'd only have 2 of them 2 days a week and on them days we would probably chill at home or go to the park, nothing too crazy as I worry I wouldn't be able to manage 2 on my own. Would also like to go back to work after 9 months and do 4 half days meaning I would finish in time for pre school pick up. Thinking Ds will also get 30 free hours by the time I'm due back so would only be paying for baby. Sorry I know I'm babbling but my head is going 1000 mph. I would love to hear some positive experiences xx

It’s the most usual age gap around here. It’s really hard but you get though.
I did it twice. Smaller gaps get it over and done with!

It’s a pretty usual age gap. You have to be pretty organised. First year is the worst bit. I did have a bigger gap between 2 & 3 and that had its benefits and drawbacks too. Good luck!

No direct experience as a 3yr age gap.
Most important thing I think from what I’ve read is ensure your eldest is in a good sleep routine- maybe do any sleep training now! Savour naps, get organised- oh and stop ironing if you still do ;)

I had two under 18 months, that was....testing! Two under three is pretty usual. I don't think any age gap is perfect to be honest, they all come with their different issues and challenges.

I found it easy. I like small children though Andrew really enjoyed that stage.

Andrew!! . “And”

@4PawsGood

It’s the most usual age gap around here. It’s really hard but you get though. I did it twice. Smaller gaps get it over and done with!

I'd say the same, pretty normal age gap ime too. What are you worried about in particular?

We had number 4 when the eldest was 4.
Routine routine routine !
And CBeebies

Dd was 3 in Sept.. Other dd was 2 that Dec and ds arrived the November in between..
Bedroom routines are your friend!

I had 2 under 3. It was challenging at first as my oldest still wasn't a great sleeper, my partner and I ended up just dealing with one each for wake-ups. Other than that it was ok.

They get on quite well now so I definitely think the smaller age gap is good longer term.

I know it's not loved on here but I found this book really useful

I have the same gap and it’s fine. My first was a very demanding baby and my second felt easy in comparison.

Few tips,
Get bedtime routine for oldest set and shortish. Ie you don’t want to be rocking them to sleep or sitting by their bed with another one needing feeding/changing. And make sure dad can do it as well so you can swap between the 2 children when needed.

Have nappy bag packed each night so you can grab and go when needed. I also did lunchboxes (even if we weren’t go anywhere) the night before so if I was having a bad day I could just pull it out and plonk on plate.

Lower standards and find a cupboard/box where you can scoop all toys in at the end of the day and it is quick to feel tidy

Sling/carrier. That way you can runaround the park helping with climbing frame etc

Wellies. My 2 year old could put his own wellies on which was great when heavily pregnant. That and climbing in the car seat on his own.

Backpack reins. Just that reassurance that you had him if he slipped you hand whilst punching the pram down the road.

^Pushing

I've got three under 2.5. It's hard hard work and frankly I just 'survive'. My twins are 1.4 and my toddler is 2.3.
I go out a lot, I sign up to every baby/toddler group under the sun. I also have gone back to work at weekends (care assistant), and I have massively lowered my household standards.

When I just had the one child, I used to iron everything, even Muslins. I now iron nothing since lockdown, nothing at all.
I used to hover whole house daily, mop daily, bathrooms 1/2 days, skirting boards and polishing weekly.
I now put the hoover round once a week, and hoover and mop downstairs 1/2 days. Polishing and skirting boards and windows probably once every six weeks.

I have a 2.5yr old and a 12 week old. Ds goes to nursery 3 days a week, dh works part time too so has a day off in the week so I only have 1 day on my own with them.
I won't lie, at the end of that day I'm knackered! But the days just me and the baby feel a breeze in comparison.

In all honesty, in my experience you need a strong relationship in which parenting is equally split and appreciated.

It helps if you are walking distance to parks etc but obviously if you're not then there's not a lot you can do!
Teach your eldest to put shoes and coat on themselves. Make sure the change bag is always packed, including snacks, so you can grab and go. A sling/ baby carrier is essential. Cbeebies and Disney plus are your friends.

If in doubt, I stick my eldest in the bath

Thank you for all the above advice! I deffo need to lower my standards and jus embrace the mess for a few years I think. DH will have to step up slightly and help with washing etc but he's pretty good now, my DS is a mummy's boy which is the only struggle. He was in a really good bed time routine but he's going through something at the moment. At least I have 9 months to get back to routine. I know it's going to be really tough especially that first year. I just hope it's worth it when they are best friends later in life! Would you suggest potty training Ds before baby arrives?

My eldest was 23 months when my youngest was born. Like you eldest continued in childcare 3 days a week. On my 2 days with both of them we mainly played at home to be honest. I highly recommend a sling for baby to go in so you can still play easily with toddler and I found it easier using the sling and having both hands free when going out.
We went out for walks, to the library and met up with friends at their houses but I found it difficult finding playgroups in my area suitable for both. I went back to work when my youngest was 9 months but only 3 days so had 2 days with both of them until school started. We liked going to soft play too, again using the sling when youngest was tiny.

I’ll add it’s a lovely age gap, mine are 9&7 and the age is tiny in finding activities suitable for both.
Potty training we did when baby was 3 months old and it was fine, once toddler is at an age where they get it it’s easy enough and we cracked it in a week.

Might be hard to potty train on the cusp of 24months, see how ready he is closer to the time (dry through naps, can pull up own trousers and can speak enough to say toilet etc).
We got our little one excited for her new sister by talking about her, when we went to the park etc “oh shall we bring baby sister here when she comes” and “oh your picture is amazing, baby sister is going to love your pictures”- bit ott no way of knowing if it made a difference but we have no jealousy issues here- if possible have your husband do bath routines etc before the baby comes so you don’t disappear due to the baby as such.

I had 2 under 2 and 3 under 5! 2 under 3 is pretty normal around here.

I found having a newborn baby and a 2 year old a much easier gap than a newborn baby and a 1 year old. The 2 year old had a much greater understanding of what was going on, was able to occupy himself more and could talk. It's quite a straightforward gap I think and I also had a 4 year old at the time.

Soon to have 3 under 4. I don't think 2 are too hard?! You have a lot more help to hand than I ever did, only 2 days alone? I think thinking about it is more scary than actually just getting on with it! For toilet training, get a potty out so he can get use to it, let him see you and DH on toilet, explain, make it fun. We started with no2 as knew when it was happening so would put on potty. We did have a regression after 2nd baby but we had a difficult time in the lead up and he was back in nappies due to having different people helping with him] while I was in hospital, it didn't last too long and then he was fine, we had a 2.5 age gap, this time it will be 2.2 and potty training (peeing all over the place) is in full swing!

Thank you, feeling much more positive now! Keep the advice coming...

Wish I'd had a smaller gap. Four years, here.

Decent double buggy. Even second hand.
And some walking shoes /decent trainers... A bit of practice both can nap at the same time... Glorious..

Our 2nd & 3rd have a 16.5mth gap, eldest is 5 years older than 2nd. It can be tiring but you muddle through. We had twins before the 3rd was 3 too, routines were very helpful. You adjust to function pretty well on very little sleep after a while and it gets easier as they get older.
Our twins are 6 now and 21+3wk pregnant with baby number 6.