Stopping sickness in daycare

[JKDcot]

Hi all

Random advice needed please. My little one is 10 months and I’ve started to think about daycare. This seems such a selfish comment but I have very bad emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and I’ve started to worry that he’ll bring home loads of sickness bugs. He’s not interacted with many other people obviously due to Covid lockdown. But how often on average are your little ones getting sickness bugs? And do you as parents always pick them up too? Other than hand washing what can I do to avoid it?!
Any advice is much appreciated. And please don’t judge that I’m worried about my own health. I know it’s only a sickness bug but I’d rather avoid it if I can.

Thanks

My DC has been to nursery for 6 months now and not had a single sickness bug. We have had loads of colds but nothing else.

1 sickness bug in over 2 years of childcare - had many many colds, conjunctivitis and Covid though...

Hmm, 2 kids, 4 years of so of nursery / school, probably 3-4 sickness bugs between them, I've probably had 3 but not sure they were all linked to their cases (I work in a school).

Thank you for your thoughts. Actually doesn’t sound too bad?!

My DD started nursery at 9 months, she had two vomiting bugs within the first 9 months and has not had any since (she's nearly 3). She has had absolutely LOADS of cold-like infections though which continues frequently (coughs, snotty nose, sore throats etc).

I have emetephobia as well & two children going through nursery. It’s actually helped me ‘let go’ to some extent I think. I cannot let my phobia hold them back. Plus I need to work so I need nursery. I genuinely don’t worry about it on a day to day basis but I do admit, I reach Saturday each week & have a small sigh of relief we’ve not gone one (they attend Mon-Wed).

Don’t get me wrong, when they’ve happened (rarely), I’ve struggled. Thankfully my OH is brilliant and takes over completely for me.

Kids have to mix & even if you avoided nursery, they have to go to school!

I think sickness bugs have come down in common-ness quite a bit since they introduced the rotavirus vaccine for babies in 2008 👍🏻

I also have a fear of vomiting so think about this a lot. In 2.5 years at nursery DD has never caught one. They have had a sign up advising of a vomiting bug 2 or 3 times during that time but she somehow didn't catch it. She's only had one vomiting bug so far which she caught at Center Parcs when she was 7 months old. I did catch it too (shudder) but she was still breastfeeding at the time and threw up all over me so hoping it would be easier to avoid now she is older.

As a PP said I think the vaccine really helps, even when she caught it DD only vomited twice, so nothing like the horror stories i used to hear with my older nephews where they'd vomit 15+ times in one night!

My kids have (touchwood) never caught D&V from childcare or school. They're 6 and 8. You will get horrible, nasty colds that your kids recover from in a day and put you on your knees for weeks. But no vomiting.

I obviously can't speak for every school or nursery but DC school have been big on tne hand washing and kids not mixing since covid. Which obviously helps for other viruses and illness too.

I too suffer with emetephobia.

I am also a trained and qualified Nursery Nurse / former Nursery Manager.

Illness is unfortunately part and parcel of sending your child to Nursery and they do get unwell whilst building up Immunity.

However... a few things that's REALLY important on your part:

Always ensure thorough handwashing when your child gets out of Nursery and comes home. This is where the majority of virus' are transmitted- fingers to mouth route.
Sounds over the top to others but being an Emetephobe , I would shower my two when they got home from Nursery. I found it a win win; they'd be clean and ready for bed, as well as the germs and yuk from Nursery had gone.
Thankfully, my two children never once picked up a sickness bug from Nursery in the times they were there.

Also, observe and read the Nursery policies and procedures and don't be afraid to ask questions . All staff in Nurseries should be strictly adhering to hand washing/ cleaning routines. Both for the children and for themselves. For example, washing hands properly before eating food/ coming in from outside etc
Especially with Covid one would hope these measures are ramped up significantly.

Ask about the illness exclusion policy. Is it adhered to when the children are unwell with sickness and diarrhoea? Many settings will say, oh yes, absolutely it is followed, when the reality is that they do allow the children back into Nursery before the 48 hour exclusion period for sickness and diarrhoea is over. Not all settings I may add, but definitely some.
This can be for many reasons; often it's that the Manager is not very strong in their leadership and doesn't follow it through fully or it could be for financial reasons as well. In my experience, I have often found it is actually down to the parents too as because they are often paying for the service, there will be a few who will lie over their child being unwell.

You need to be prepared for this as sadly this can happen a lot. Many parents do indeed tell lies and now I work on the other side of the fence ( and visit many Nursery and School settings for part of my job) it is indeed commonplace.

Ask too about staff turnover, as this a good sign that things are well run.

Good luck with your choices but please do not be afraid to ask questions.

Op I understand and have been where you are. I'm emetophobic also and have 4 year old twins. I was in a real state about them starting nursery, but in all honesty all they have had is ear infections and colds/cough and a particularly nasty case of hand foot and mouth. We have had some sickness with the ear infections and my DH was at work so my mum was called in to help luckily but she did encourage my to cuddle said sick child as all they want is mummy when they're poorly. Touch wood, now they've started school and are a little older, I'm hoping my constant hand washing & reminders are enough to help prevent them bringing D&V home although I know chances are it will happen at some point. The only time they have had an actual sickness bug was when they were 18m and it followed us having been out for lunch the previous day and my mother in law plonked them on the floor in a Toby Carvery to play for a few minutes whilst I went to the loo. I was horrified to see them on the floor and spent the next few days on red alert and within 24/36 hours it started. One first then the other then myself (just D, typical for my well trained body!) and my DH. In all honestly school and nursery especially in these Covid times have been very thorough and strict with frequent hand washing which has reassured me. Thankfully my DH is 100% supportive and will take over and deal with the ill child whilst I do the practical stuff like fetching and carrying/ putting the washer on etc. Do you have support at home OP to help if needed? Having said that, I would say my phobia is less of an issue than it once was, exposure will help to desensitise eventually and I find that I can usually dig deep and find the strength to deal with the situation happening whereas once upon a time I would literally flee the scene!

My daughter started at nursery when she was 9 months, then on to school. She's 6 now and has had 2 bouts of vomiting bugs in her life. She did get a few cold like viruses from nursery that resulted in temperatures and grouchiness but there were very few sickness bugs.

Just out of interest have any of the Emetophobes on here tried hypnotherapy for their fear of vomiting? And did it help?

@UKhun I haven't but would definitely be interested in hearing if it has helped anyone!

I'm also emetophobic although by the time I'd had DD I'd had noro twice in the space of 5 years and having survived that I was able to rationalise a bit that l know I can make it through it.

Like BadMudda does, I also bath DD every nursery night as soon as she gets home.

In DD's first 6 months of nursery she caught every lurgy going which did include 2 sickness bugs and I did catch them despite being fastidious with cleaning etc. I seem to be extremely susceptible to sickness bugs though. Some people aren't, and hopefully you're one of them OP!

I'm a single parent so have no choice but to get on and look after DD when she's ill. I always wondered how I'd cope when she got sick and I've been amazed to find how I've just got on and dealt with it and cared for her when she pukes.

Since Covid started she's had other viruses but no vomiting bugs. I do think Covid has done us emetophobes a huge favour as people's hand hygiene has improved.

My top tip would be to keep a pile of old towels to hand. When DD has been sick I put her in my bed surrounded by towels and sit next to her with a small washing up bowl I bought for the purpose.

Thank you so much for everyone’s kind advice and support. I didn’t realise there were so many other emetophobes so i feel less embarrassed. I think I could handle cleaning up vomit and being 100% there for my son if he was ill. I just want to do all I can to avoid catching it. I hate to sound selfish but I get panic attacks if I think I am going to be sick and not sure I could cope with it. I had quite bad morning sickness in my first trimester which floored me. I cried for weeks just feeling rotten. No idea how I could have a second ?!? No way I could look after my son and be sick / pregnant for that long??

I did try the Thrive programme for emetophobia but for me it didn’t work unfortunately. I just have some medicines that I had during morning sickness I keep in my handbag in case I feel ill...

I could have written your post a few years ago (even down to the morning sickness drugs which I still keep to hand!). It’s an awful phobia to have when you have small children. Mine are 8 and 10 now and they’ve had 2 sick incidents each their whole life due to my insane covert hygiene practises. I never got sick myself partly I think because I’m v good at stopping myself, like a lot of emetophobes, and partly because if I hear there’s a bug going round I take extreme steps to protect myself (eg not kissing the kids on the mouth & eating v lightly. I know thus is not mentally very healthy or clever but I know fellow sufferers won’t judge. You just have to make it through without having major panic attacks and fleeing the house!).

My son is 3.5yrs old and has been in his nursery since 14 months old and has never had D&V. He has had a load of colds and snot though, especially in that first winter.

One episode of vomiting in over two years of nursery. I say episode as it was just 3 or 4 vomits over a few hours.