Help me feel better mums!

[nocluemummy]

Ok so I have DS(4) and DD (12m) and im currently a SAHM.

When i was pregnant with my first and working, i couldnt wait to go on maternity and leave this "stressful" work and thought i'll spend relaxing months with the baby.
Boy was i wrong! 🙄😳😳

Now 2 kids later, i am SURE that any stressful job is better than this 😂 i mean i love my kids but god my brain is slowly poaching just spending all day everytime with them.. forget sleeps. DH and i forgot the last time we relaxed without one or other jumping to our laps lol.

My SIL is in a bubble with us so lives with us for couple months and adore my kids. She WFH and as soon as she finishes she plays with them and tells me "aaargh I would give anything to spend time with them all day than my work its so stressful, i hate work, kids are do much fun" blah blah you get it..

So am I right or is she?

I don't think there is right or wrong here. Some people thrive being SAHM, and others need work to keep them sane. It's what suits you best.
There is always a touch of 'grass is greener' too.

There is little in life more exhausting than a full day with preschoolers, it is endless, once they drop the nap you have c13hrs to fill- minus 2 hrs for meals, 1-2hrs of telly- day 9hrs to fill. Then add that the attention span for any activity is c. 20mins max and tell me wtf?!!!!

OP, I think some mums get exhausted, stressed and bored with babies and toddlers, but love having older kids who are more interesting and less dependent.
Others adore the squidgy baby stage but don’t cope well with stroppy teens.
We are all different, and I think you would benefit from getting back to work, either full or part time, to give you a break and some adult company.
I adored my DC, but I found my days at work were essential to my wellbeing!
I was widowed with two babies, and the endless grind of nappies, feeds and sleep deprivation, plus trying to entertain them all day at toddler level of intellect and vocabulary, was soul destroying when I was only working one day a week. I gradually increased to full time (as a hospital doctor), which gave me the company and intellectual stimulation I craved.

Tbh I think my 2 year old enjoys nursery more than a. Day with me. I work 2 days a week so he only goes 2 days . I am considering increasing my hours as he is so delighted to be around other children and really thrives in this environment . I find it mind numbing filling between 7 am and 5 pm when partner gets home . It's so boring .

And hard work! I love my son but it's relentless

@Mc3209 i did think "grass is greener" theory!

But my SIL doesnt have kids. Shes just assuming that i must having very awesome stress free time being with kids all day

Having been both myself(FT work no kids and later SAHP) i do think i'll now see FT work as better option than this

I am applying for jobs and will grab whatever i get 😆

I think working FT and being a SAHP to pre-schoolers are equally tiring but in different ways.

I prefer the tiredness of a full on day at work (I get a real buzz from it!) than a full on day of maternity leave but understand that it isn't for everyone!

@Babdoc it is hard and so sorry you had to deal with all alone

I suppose women are different, I've been seen as a fun aunt who never gets tired of playing their level but its not the sane when its my own kids! The tiredness add up! I go around with a cup of coffee that i microwave 3-4 times in between and finally finishing it by lunch time (if anyone can relate )

I think i rather deal with an grumpy boss lol

Before kids, me and DH do something around the house and by dinner time we think "where did the time go? Why dont we have time?"

Now im thinking wtf was "our past" doing all the time laying about?

I use to spend ages sorting dinner(after coming from work) and then go to bed at 11. Now its super speed dinner in one hour or less, kids bath bed etc and then we try to squeeze in a movie but end up sleeping on the couch..

I may be very extreme when i think this.. now im dreaming of a quiet "old age"

I have two the same ages as yours. They need things non stop all day. Just when I think I might be able to sit down and relax for a moment one of them falls over and starts crying or does a poo or a fight breaks out over a toy! I work part time and find my working days far more peaceful. I long for them to be old enough to happily sit and do crafts or play a board game.

Do you not plan to go back to work, nocluemummy?

I found that going to work part time was extremely therapeutic.

I am not cut out to be a SAHM. I am currently working full time, I have a 2.5yo and am pregnant. I was going to drop to 4 days a week after maternity leave 2, but now I think I'll stay on full time. Lockdown with a toddler has definitely ruined my enjoyment of spending time with him (hubby worked 90hr weeks out of the home so I was on my own).

My dad always said he liked ages 10+ better, I am hoping I am the same.

I love the title of this thread, nocluemummy.

Seriously, make a plan to return to work.

I have a plan, definitely going back to work!

Today my second born discovered she can climb the sofa and jump

My coffee is still not finished lol.

@nocluemummy

I have a plan, definitely going back to work!

Today my second born discovered she can climb the sofa and jump

My coffee is still not finished lol.

Excellent (your first sentence)!

You will be a New Woman in no time.