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3 Year Old avoids going to the toilet!

2 replies

RhiPJ · 07/04/2021 20:54

So my 3 year old son has been "potty trained" for a quite a while now, maybe a year. He's had mishaps all along, as expected, nothing very significant, usually just a small dribble in his pants - I've heard this is fairly normal.
Then last summer he seemed to have a diarrhea problem, we changed from cows milk to oat milk, and over night it seems to solve the problem..however the problem resurfaced a month or so later. I was trying to lower his fibre intake, especially fruit, but it got to the point where we were constantly saying no to all the foods he likes.
I want to get a doctors appointment to see if there's anything going on medically, but they're so busy after the bank holiday I can't get one yet.
The other thought is, we have an 8 month old daughter. Is there truth in kids reverting to soiling themselves when they see dirty nappies?
We also got fed up to the back teeth of encouraging him (which usually turned into discipline or an argument) to go for a wee, that we've decided to let him decide when he goes, but he will just hold it for HOURS on end, so much so, his belly will hurt, or he'll wet himself before going.

So several points all relating to avoiding the toilet which we can't get to the bottom of.

Yes, we've tried discipline (rightly or wrongly).
And we've done reward charts.
Neither work 😑

OP posts:
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squeezylizzy · 08/04/2021 16:57

sorry that sounds hard. our three year old is totally potty trained except that he refuses to poop in the toilet or when out. so he'll only poop in his nappies. with him it started when he had a couple of accidents in the nursery and he was so embarassed he didnt poop for three days straight and generally tried to hold it in. this week i am back to telling him he needs to poop in his potty as he is a big boy and it seems to be getting through. so maybe its psychological? our DC is getting over it slowly so i dont think it will be a problem for much longer

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 08/04/2021 20:57

I'm a bit unclear from your OP as to whether there's a problem with poos as well or just wees at the moment? Also, are you saying this has been happening since last summer, or just recently?

Either way, I would lay off any discipline. It's really inappropriate to discipline young children for toilet stuff and may be what has caused the problem. He now associates the toilet with being told off, so no wonder he tries to avoid it.

I would try letting him use a potty in a different room. If you have a garden, let him wee out there and aim at a target (flower or stone or something) - boys love that. If the garden is private, get his dad to do it too. Then masses of praise when he goes, and kind reassurance if he doesn't.

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