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Original poster

About to give up potty training on day 4. Help!

24 replies

Eachpeachpears · 05/04/2021 11:29

I have no idea what to do.

Ds is 2.5 yrs (30 months) and has been showing signs of being ready. The classic telling us when he has gone, wanting a wet nappy changed etc.

Decided that having so much time at home and unable to go anywhere was a good time to start potty training.
Days 1 and 2 went great. Naked from waist down. Was going on his own accord to the potty, really proud of himself etc. 1 accident in the whole 2 days. Day 3 came and we introduced pants. Just pants, not trousers too. He's been telling us he needs to go but doesn't like the process of pants being pulled down.

Tried a few short trips and he tells us he needs to go, won't go outside and successfully held it in until we've got home. On paper it sounds like it's going well but he's just getting stressed out with the pants coming down.

We've just asked if he wants a nappy on to which he said yes. So we put a nappy back on then he decided against in and asked to go to the potty and did a successful wee.

Do we just need to be more patient? How can we get passed this barrier? Or do we go back to pull ups for a bit? It just feels so wrong to have told him potty time now then go back on it.

Help. Please!

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longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter · 05/04/2021 11:33

Personally I wouldn't go back to nappies or pull ups, he tells you when he needs to go and has been going..
I would say from what you've said it's actually going really well.
Like anything change is going to take time to get used to, he's used to the feel of his nappy for 2.5 years, pants will feel strange but he will get used to it. Maybe stop the pants until he's a bit more comfortable with going and used to it, and just use loose light bottoms instead?
I would persevere now you've started and he's doing so well. Lots of praise, stickers, treats etc
Good luck!

MrTumbleTumble · 05/04/2021 11:36

I'd leave the pants for a bit longer, to be honest. Keep him naked from the waist down at home and put loose trousers on with no pants when out. My DS was at a similar age when he potty trained and really struggled to get used to the feeling of wearing pants for a good month or so.

Original poster

Eachpeachpears · 05/04/2021 11:47

Thank you both. Sometimes I think it's just needing that reassurance.
Having been at home with him since Friday doing all the encouraging I have, it's easy to only see what's wrong rather than right!

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longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter · 05/04/2021 11:59

I know what you mean it's difficult to know what's normal and whether how you're proceeding is doing any good! I think he's done really well.
I had a few friends who tried for a week but their children just weren't getting it so that had to postpone for a few weeks and try again.

Di11y · 05/04/2021 12:00

I'd suggest going back to no pants for a whole longer. My DD was in baggy leggings no pants for. few weeks out and nothing on bottom at home

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/04/2021 12:01

4 days? It takes weeks, you have to persevere, there will be plenty of accidents in the early days, just grit your teeth and get the carpet cleaned afterwards.

PurpleSplodge · 05/04/2021 12:08

My youngest took ages to go from bare bum to trousers. It was like as soon as there was something covering her it was fair game to piss in them.

Original poster

Eachpeachpears · 05/04/2021 12:12

The only reason we are a bit nervous about the time scale is because he is back at nursery on Thursday and I don't know how attentive they will be able to be to him. He literally says "wee's coming" or "poo coming" and it's potty and pants down in time. He'll also only sit backwards on the potty so everything has to come off his bottom half!
I just don't want him to go to nursery and him get disheartened that he's having accidents. He's so proud when he does them!

OP posts:

Redcrayons · 05/04/2021 12:13

That’s massive progress for 3 days. Mine took forever to get the hang of it.

Maybe buy some undies with his favourite character on in a bigger size so they don’t feel so tight?

Merename · 05/04/2021 12:22

I agree, don’t go back. Sounds like he’s doing great. I agree with pp that a phase of going commando is helpful before introducing pants. They feel too much like a nappy, and the body responds as such. Just tell nursery that’s what you want to do, and that when he needs he has to go quick, they’ll have dealt with it before. I understand you not wanting him to have to deal with accidents, but it’s part of the process and how he learns how long he can hold (or not) for.

Chickenlickeninthepot · 05/04/2021 12:42

Sounds like he's doing well. I'd do trousers with no pants for a bit.

DeeSeeMee · 05/04/2021 12:47

Keep going - some days every pee was a failure - nut keep going. If dc can communicate they can be potty trained. Mine talked early and were out of nappies asap.

Original poster

Eachpeachpears · 05/04/2021 13:37

Thanks for the advice and encouragement from you all. Its Really helpful. We will keep going and like you say nursery will be used to it.

OP posts:

Cutesbabasmummy · 05/04/2021 20:44

I kept my son at home for a week (took annual leave and didn't send him.to nursery) amd he was naked on the bottom half all week. Then we went to very loose trousers and nursery was very on board. Muscle memory is strong and pants feel too much like a nappy. He us doing well just give him.more time.

Hufflepuffsunite · 05/04/2021 20:50

Make sure his trousers and pants are easy to get off and on - size up, loose joggers, no zips or stiff material. Nursery could be a great help here - my now 4yo was adamant he needed to strip entirely naked to sit on the potty when he first trained and we could not persuade him otherwise! He went back to nursery a few days later and came home saying "mummy! I can leave my shirt on and pull down my pants!" Like...yes....I know! That's what I've been saying 🤣🤦‍♀️

Bumblebee1980a · 05/04/2021 21:15

In answer to some posters no it doesn't take weeks to toilet train. When they're ready, they're ready. I let my DS lead it and it took a few days.

Personally I think two and a half is too young. I get it's ok for some but still very young. My DS was 3 and a bit and I trained him straight to the toilet and missed the potty.

Caterina99 · 05/04/2021 23:19

If he’s doing so well naked then I’d probably keep going. My DD needed a good few weeks in loose trousers, no underwear to be reliable and there were a few accidents along the way, but at home half naked she did great.

It’s a long time til Thursday in potty training time. And nursery should be supportive. See how it’s going by Wednesday evening and decide then. No shame using pull ups for trips out, or just taking a break and going back to nappies for a bit, but in my opinion it definitely does prolong the process

DramaAlpaca · 05/04/2021 23:23

Day 4? Keep going, he's doing really well. He's the ideal age to do this, so carry on as you are.

Hardbackwriter · 05/04/2021 23:26

It sounds like maybe he feels a bit 'trapped' in clothes and it makes him panicky - have you physically shown him how to pull his pants and trousers down and practiced it with him? It took me a while to realise I needed to do this with DS - I guess I thought he'd just know how, but he definitely didn't! (But he got it within about 20 minutes when I actually showed him and talked to him about how to pull them down)

SlB09 · 05/04/2021 23:28

We had the same thing (son was abit older) and I read somewhere to just leave pants off for a few weeks, just putting trousers on Al pa commando - and it worked a treat! Just long enough to break the association between that 'something around my bum means I can wee' thing.
Also tip shared to me by my sister - jump on the nightimes too if he's doing really well after a few weeks or they get back into nightime nappies and it takes forever to break that once re-established...we did and have a dry 3year old and her dd who's a few months older still uses pull-ups at night. Good luck!

Notthissticky · 05/04/2021 23:35

Agree with everything others have said, stick with it!! Although it might feel kinder, if you start using nappies again, even part time (apart from overnight) it will just confuse him. Accidents are part of the process, it helps them learn. It's understandable you don't want him to be upset, but could you focus instead on turning it into a learning opportunity? Don't want to sound twee, but something like "Well done, you went to the potty when you did a pee! Next time we're going to go sooner so the pee goes in the potty!". I got Sarah Ockwell-Smith's gentle potty training book, which I found really good for the tips on praise etc

NoliteTeBastardesCarborundorum · 06/04/2021 16:55

I also started with a 30month old on Monday and gave up within 5 minutes as he was crying and asking for a nappy as soon as he was naked, despite weeks of talking it up and going shopping for pants etc. Sounds like you're doing really well.

riddles26 · 06/04/2021 17:02

Sounds like he's doing brilliantly, agree not to go back at all.

Agree with PP to drop the pants but put loose trousers/tracksuit bottoms instead for now. We did this for a while before introducing underwear.

Also don't worry about nursery - from experience, they start by taking them often so they do not get to the stage where they have an accident and then increase the interval gradually. They also settle into their own rhythm there with the other children

AegonT · 06/04/2021 20:34

We went from nothing on to loose shorts/trousers only as pants feel a bit like a nappy as they fit closely. I think we put pants on her after a couple of weeks. It still took a few weeks for her to be accident free (she was 2.4) but it was worth it to be done with nappies (well day nappies - took a little longer till she was dry at night).

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