Losing friends!

[Emily920]

When I fell pregnant, multiple people told me I would very quickly find out who my real friends were. Never did I believe them until today.

I noticed my sister in law/best friend of 10 years has been very distant with me since I give birth 3 years ago. I used to be heavily involved in her children’s life every day and when I give birth to my daughter, it wasn’t that easy. I found parenting really hard for the 1st 3-4 months, to the point I thought I was going to have a breakdown and not one person checked in on me or my daughter. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it and I just put it down to the fact everyone was as busy as I now was so I didn’t blame them. Today, I spoke to my sister in law/best friend for the 1st time in the last 12 months and we aired our differences. She admitted to me that she pulled herself away from me because my parenting grated on her. She said I am very over protective of my daughter and wrap her in cotton wool and no one can say anything to her or do anything because I’m protective and will say something. What she is actually referring to is when she used to call my daughter “that kid” all the time and there was one occasion on My daughters 1st Christmas when she told me to tell my 9 month old daughter to play with her own toys and not play with anyone else’s so I picked up my daughter and walked out of my family’s home on Christmas Day because she was just rude and not considerate at all. She continued to tell me that I’m a stuck up parent and I think the sun shines out of my daughters a**!

I am protective of my daughter!! She is the most precious thing in my life! My daughter suffers with asthma and has been hospitalised more times than I can remember! I have seen her being resuscitated because she couldn’t breathe so if I’m protective of her, I have every reason to be! I might wrap her up in cotton wool but that’s just because she is precious and I would never want any harm to come her way!

My sister in law/best friend is a very laid back parent, doesn’t really discipline her children and has on multiple occasions been so laid back that it’s brought harm to her children.

We are just two very different parents! However before I had my daughter, we were the best of friends!!

How does this happen? I feel very sad today and I hate the thought of people hating on my daughter!! Do I stay civil or do I cut complete ties?

Thank you 😊

Sorry you are going through this. Personally but this app a probably just me, I would keep my distance and just smile sweetly at family occasions to keep the peace and not have awkwardness.
What da she do though to put her kids in danger?!

She has 3 kids with my brother, her youngest is 1 and when she was about 10 months old my sister in law didn’t think to get stair gates. My niece climbed to the top of the stairs and fell all the way down. My niece was apparently screaming for hours and she didn’t think to take her to hospital until 2 days later to find out that my Niece had broken her arm! A week after my niece’s cast come off, my niece opened the oven and touched the grill, her hand blistered straight away and again, she didn’t take her to hospital. If that was me, on both occasions I’d be frantically trying to find my car keys to go hospital! We try to tell her, but we are too “judgemental” apparently!

It’s easy for me to stay away from her because she’s actually not with my brother anymore, but because she was a best friend of mine as well, I decided it was time to find out what was going on and now I wish I hadn’t because it’s made me think about my type of parenting and I’ve started to question wether I’m normal or just obsessed! X

That’s dreadful!!!! You’re not seriously taking parenting advice from this person...!
Thing is if you fall out, will it affect your relationship with your brothers kids?
If not, for me she could do one!
After all you have been through with your little one how dare she judge you given her parenting skills!!!
You sound like a lovely loving mum. Take no notice of her, she’s clearly not a good friend. Suppose it reminds me of what I say to my kids, friends are meant to make you happy, we are meant to make them happy - she is doing neither!!!
Forget her x