Evening! In need of a bit of advice here. My son’s grandmother (not with baby’s dad so not a MIL) sees my son once a week, every week for a few hours in the park. She meets up with my mum who provides childcare and they have a socially distanced walk as she isn’t in our bubble. As restrictions lift she will see him more as she has to supervise his father’s contact with him.
She said to my 18 month old today that she will see him at the weekend to give him his Easter chocolate. She hasn’t asked me if she can come round, rather told my child she will see him at the weekend. I agreed to her giving him a chocolate bunny and she was asking questions about whether I was off over Easter. But not once did she ask if she could come and visit (not the first time).
We haven’t had the easiest relationship. She’s very controlling and manipulative and has been known to just invite her parents or partner (pre-Covid) around when she visits, without asking me. She doesn’t respect me as a parent and complains frequently she doesn’t get enough videos or photos (passively aggressively telling my son she doesn’t get many or doesn’t see him very often, rather than directly). I do send her some photos but I refuse to send her every photo or video I take.
My issue is this, do I wait for her to ask and do I let her see him at Easter? It’s Tuesday now and she hasn’t asked me directly and I’ve made plans to see a friend on the Monday. What’s upsetting me is the fact it’s just expected and she uses my son by telling him she’s going to see him.
We had the worst year last year because of the things her son did and she’s been absolutely awful to me in the past. I’ve never stopped her seeing him but I just don’t know what to do. She sees him every week and some grandparents don’t see their grandkids at all at the moment, it’s just nothing is good enough for her. She’s possessive and manipulative and undermines me at every turn.
Please be gentle with any replies, I’ve had a terrible last year and I don’t want to keep him from her but the control and expectation has to stop somewhere and I feel like the more I give, the more she will take.
TIA