20 month old still has a dummy

[Stressedinlockdown]

So just wanted to ask some opinions. Our DD, 20 months, still uses a dummy. She has it for naps and at night and sometimes the witching hour before bed if she’s not had a nap that day and is getting grumpy.

She didn’t cut her first tooth until she was 13 months and didn’t really use them much at all before that. But since she’s started teething and also since she’s learnt how to ask for it, she’s used them.

I’d prefer she didn’t use them but I’m not sure how to take them away either. When I pick her up from nursery and they’ve given her it (usually because she’s so tired as she never naps in nursery) I’ve noticed she’s the only child that has one. I feel like I should tackle it but also feel a bit bad because she is still teething and it brings her comfort.

Did your children use a dummy? What age/how did you wean them off it?

Thanks!

My 5 year old had a dummy till he was almost 3. He used it for sleeps and if he was really upset.
One day I just stopped giving him it at first it was a struggle and he kept asking for it but I just told him they had to get sent away because a baby needed them as he was no longer a baby. Took a few days till he didn't ask for it and has slept better since.

One of mine I took her dummy away and she stuck her thumb instead 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Having gone through the trauma of getting one to give up sucking her thumb I let her have the dummy back but it was only ever for in bed and lived under the pillow.

Thanks for your reply. I feel like it might be better to wait until she’s a bit older too and explain they’ve had to go to other babies or maybe at Christmas say the elves took them or some rubbish

I do feel like she would sleep better without them. We’ve had to start using a strap now because she was throwing the dummies out of the cot knowing we’d have to come back in and give it back to her.

I know it’d be a short term pain long term gain kind of thing too but easier said than done as well!

Start with just making at nap time, tell nursery it won't be coming anymore.

My son is 2 (26 months) and no intention to make him stop until he’s closer to 3.

I work in a nursery, not in the U.K., and most kids here have stopped between 2 and 3. Although I’m not sure I’d have been happy with my son being given his dummy in nursery if he didn’t need it.

We went cold turkey with DS at 19 months - he needed to be cuddled to sleep for a week or so and was quite grumpy, but got over it quickly. DS was waking for his in the night though so we really wanted it gone as it was disrupting his sleep (and he did start sleeping through afterwards). I think he forgot it much more quickly at 19 months than he would now, at 2.5.

We told told DD that on your 3rd birthday you become a big girl, and the dummy fairy comes and takes your dummy to a little baby. She woke up to a letter and present from the dummy fairy. She did ask for her dummy for a few days after, but then it sunk in the dummy was gone and she was fine.

Mine had hers until she was 3, for a couple of weeks before her birthday we’d repeatedly explained that she’d be a big girl and no more dummy and after a little grumbling that first bedtime without it she was fine about it, even though her little brother has one still (he’s 15 months, if he’ll give it up earlier than her I’ll be happy, but he seems to be a late teether so maybe he won’t)

My daughter told her 2 year old they would leave his dummies out for Father Christmas and in return he would gets presents. Worked like a dream which I was surprised about as he used to have one in his mouth one in his hand and one for rubbing in his hair 😂😂. He only asked about them a couple of times.

My ds is 21months and has his dummy for lunch nap only. Gradually reduced the amount he has it to that. If he's teething or particularly grumpy then he has it, but trying to phase it out. Hoping dummy phase will be done when he drops his nap.

DD1 was over 4 when we finally got rid. She had them hidden all over the house so when we did take them away she'd pop up with another. She ran out eventually then gave in. Other people I know have had the dummy fairy come take them away and give a reward.
I swore off dummies and then got 3 thumb suckers and 1 that didn't need anything. Thumb suckers are the worst, 1 has pretty much stopped at 6 year old which is great. Other 6 year old still needs reminding constantly and her teeth are a funny shape because of it. Our 10 year old (who we're having assessed for autism) has been really hard work to get off it, I've tried all sorts and the dentist thinks he may end up needing surgery to correct the damage. Will be allowing current baby (due Aug) to have dummies but try to wean her off them quite early so we don't get a repeat of the eldest.

Dd2 had a dummy for sleep only till she was 3.
Left them for the dummy fairy and she was fine about it.
Nearly a year later she found one at the bottom of her toybox she was bloody thrilled it was a nightmare trying to get it off her 😂😂

Ours has one, she's nearly 3. Not sure when we will get rid. I think by 3.5ish at the latest. It's been very strictly only for sleep since she's been about 18m old. I'm not in a hurry to remove it because she's a good sleeper, her speech is fine, her teeth are fine, and occasionally when she's been v tired but not in bed she has sucked her thumb. So I'm terrified of taking it away too soon and her replacing it with a thumb sucking habit which would be far more harmful for her teeth.

@Chelyanne I'm there with you!!

By default they will stop sucking a dummy around 7 because they are just too small and you can restrict it for sleeping only.

A persistent thumb sucking is just an issue on a whole other level 🤦🏼‍♀️

Once DC was on board we did socks taped over hands. What was horrid was that as well as not being able to suck her thumb she couldn't stroke her soft toy comfort either 😭😭😭😭 doubly hard.

My 2.8 year old had one for bed only and his front 2 teeth looked to be slightly moved, we kept saying you don't need a Dummy your a big boy and then one night he said I don't need a Dummy I'm a big boy and hasn't had once since. He does have a Comforter still.

Aw she's still young I wouldn't take it away just yet. Think most have it till about 3.

My first DD absolutely loved her dummy she's cld rarely be parted from it. I hated when she used to try and talk with it in. By time she was 2 I was desperate for her to get rid. I thought it wld be so so so hard. One night she never asked for it after her bath so I didn't give her it. As soon as she got in bed she asked for it and I just said no she was a big girl now and another baby needed it. It took about an hour to get her to sleep and I felt so guilty her wee mouth was going with nothing in it. The next night was a bit harder but after that there was no looking back! Cldnt believe how easy I got her off it. She was 2yrs 4 months.

2nd DD is only 16 months and really not a great sleeper so I can see her having it longer and she seems to be getting more addicted but it's her comfort thing. She's still so young so no plans to take it away any time soon.

Thanks a lot for all the replies, so interesting hearing everyone’s different experiences.

It’s a tricky one. We’re about to go through a pretty big change, she’ll be going from 2 days to 5 days a week in nursery so don’t want to upset her further. I feel like either I do it now or leave it until she’s a bit older.

My eldest had one until two and a half. The others didn't want a dummy. I said that the dummy fairy was taking it away and he put it in the bin.