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Parenting

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Feel like I can’t cope with my 3 year old

2 replies

Mumma1799 · 28/03/2021 20:56

Hi everyone, I’m posting as I’m desperate for some advice & help.

I have a 3 year old who will turn 4 next month & I honestly feel like the worst mum in the world. I’m a single parent & have been for 2 years. My daughters behaviour is out of control & I just can’t cope with it anymore, everything is a battle and ends in tears. Brushing teeth, brushing hair, washing hair, getting dressed, leaving the house, bedtime.. all the day to day things I absolutely dread because I know it’ll end in tears or an argument, she’ll scream, squeal and cry until she gets what she wants. I’m at my whits end with it all. She sees her dad twice a week & she’ll stay over at his on her birthday & Christmas. As much as I hate to ask him as I don’t want him to know I can’t cope, I’ve asked her dad to have her over night more often but that will only be once every other month (if that) I’ve noticed her behaviour change dramatically since lockdown as she’s started biting, pinching, hitting, kicking, not listening & just being a complete nightmare. She even grabbed my cheeks and dug her nails into my face while screaming at me. I don’t know where I’ve gone wrong & have no idea where she’s picked these outbursts up from. I can’t bare to take her on a walk or to the park because it just ends in a tantrum & screaming fit when it’s time to leave.
I recently brought a house so I’m living on my own with new neighbours & I’m constantly worried incase I annoy them with my daughter crying & screaming. I just don’t know what to do anymore and it’s really getting me down. When she’s finally asleep, I’ll spend the night in tears over it all, I look forward to the days she’s are nursery and dread when she’s not because I know she’s with me all day or when I’m at work because I know I don’t have to deal with it & that hurts me so much. She used to be such a chilled, happy baby and I’m petrified She’s going to grow into a angry, unhappy & aggressive child. She’s good as gold for everyone else but not for me & I’m starting to loose my patience with it all. I struggled a lot with PND when she was born and now I’m beginning to wonder if that has effected her. I want nothing more than to enjoy her company, for her to be happy & to create lovely memories in our new house but it’s been nothing more than tantrums and tears day in day out. I don’t know how much more I can take. It makes me miss my old life so so much, I look back at old pictures and just wish I could go back to the happy care free 19 year old.
Sorry for the long post I just want to be a good mum to her.

OP posts:
littleHen84 · 30/03/2021 10:18

The fact you feel so guilty and worried signals you are a good Mum wanting the best for her. As Mums we beat ourselves up tirelessly about anything and everything often made bigger in our own minds. Its really hard going at that age and i can relate to what you are saying especially about the noise and worrying about neighbours. I don't know what the answer is to stop the worry and the guilt, but really try to go easy on yourself. The things i felt guilty or rubbish about when mine where small now i look back and think it was all ok and its been replaced with another worry, its a big cycle.

Topjoe19 · 30/03/2021 17:52

Sounds like my 3 year old at times! I think mine gets easily frustrated. I try to turn a lot of things into games to get her to do what I want... how quickly can you get dressed? Bet i can beat you into the bathroom to brush teeth/bath etc. How quickly can you run & get shoes to go out. Also she sometimes kicks off leaving somewhere so I try to plan something nice for when we get home (play playdoh/watch movie etc). Its really hard, I feel for you. What are the consequences for her behaviour like the physical stuff (hitting etc?

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