Baby waking at night - please help

[cannotcope887]

My baby has slept through since 6 months old. He’s now 11 months and has suddenly started waking once in the night. The time varies - it can be 2am or 5am.

I’ve tried going into his room and putting a hand on his chest or stroking his head, but it doesn’t work - he keeps crying. I’ve then picked him up and cuddled him for ages before putting him back down and stroking his head again until he falls asleep.

This morning I tried these techniques for 45 minutes and he was still crying on and off, but really started up again when I tried to leave the room. Eventually DH suggested giving him some milk so is doing that now.

I’m just worried that I’m creating bad habits by doing all this stuff - which is frustrating as he’s been such a good sleeper until now. On the other hand I don’t want to leave him to cry! Does anyone have any advice?

It's just a phase and will probably pass in a week or so. Personally I never have milk in the night to settle at that age as I thought it would encourage them to want it again but it's personal preference.

Mine was the same. We gave him milk to soothe his crying and he would then fall asleep by himself.

Perhaps because of the changing of the season, his room/sleep gear/ sleeping bag could be too hot or too cold for now? Mine had that issue last summer (the airconditioning was too cold for him) and we solved it by dressing him a bit warmer for bed and setting the temperature a bit higher.

I’m no expert - I’ve got an 8mo - but if he is still crying when you are holding him, I would have thought he was hungry? Is he getting more active? He may be burning more calories. Maybe you could try a dream feed again and see if that helps?

Since 5am is now 6am, I wouldn't bother trying to resettle him at that time, I would just get up (ugh!) Take it in turns. It's quite common for toddlers to wake up early in the morning and he is approaching that age.

It might be he is hungry if feeding is helping so it might be a good idea to do a dream feed before you go to bed or give him something like porridge before bed to try and see him through?

I think there's a sleep regression around 11 months so it could be that. Also with the weather changing I'd check the temp and lightness of the room. It's a phase (a tiring phase!) but it will pass. I would look into a bit of sleep training if it doesn't get any better too. He shouldn't need any milk when he wakes if he's been sleeping through with no wake ups for 5 months so I would do away with that or it will end up becoming a bad habit. With the clocks going forward his wake up time in the morning may get a bit skewed too.

but if he is still crying when you are holding him, I would have thought he was hungry?

He doesn’t cry when held - only when put back down.

The milk didn’t help - he’s still refusing to settle.

I really hope it’s just a phase - I’m back at work now and it’s exhausting!

I should add that this has been going on for about 4 weeks on and off.

Yeah it may be a regression, they tend to last up to around 6 weeks. Absolutely exhausting but it will end! Would you sleep train in a few weeks if things don't change? There are lots of gentle ways to do it, it doesn't have to be hard-core and scary!

Would you sleep train in a few weeks if things don't change?

I just didn’t think he needed training as he’s been such a good sleeper and good at self-settling until now. I’m confused!

They're constantly changing the goal posts, it's a total riot! If it were me, I'd give it a couple more weeks to see if it all switches back to normal and if not, look at ways to sleep train. I used the super nanny method of leaving the room and letting DD cry for 2 minutes, go back in to lay her down again and then leave for 4 minutes, doubling the time each time you leave (so 2, 4, 8, 16 etc). She would scream murder for the first 2 mins each time but never went past the 16 minute mark and just gave up and went to sleep. If he's previously been a good sleeper and can self settle, a bit of sleep training will just remind him how to do it for himself.

With my eldest poor sleep usually occured at the same time as a development leap - so when he started crawling and then walking, we were up multiple times every night. Once he learnt his new skill, he started sleeping through again. Anything like that going on?

It's hellish, especially if you've been getting a decent night sleep and it changes for no apparent reason.