Baby sleeping on me

[1990fran]

Hi all
Need help i have a 1 month old baby who will only sleep on me, i have a pregnancy pillow around me with him on his back I have to stay awake with this which is making me ill because im so tired, my OH will then take over and let me sleep for some time, hes back to work soon though so I will be on my own, he wont sleep in his next to me crib wont sleep on his sleepy head, we looked up sqfe co sleeping and he doesnt like it, i dont think he likes being laid completely flat?! We have put a blanket rolled up in cot with my scent and tried hot water bottle trick, nothing works! I am so scared of sids i don't know what else to do, we both need to sleep but cant have hin sleeping on me constantly, anyone else had this issue or can advise?! Thank you x

Also tried a dummy, doesn't like it nor swaddling -__-

I think eventually you just end up making it as safe as possible and baby sleeps on you regardless. It's safer than falling asleep in an armchair with them.

We tag-teamed even when DH was back at work- I was in bed by 7/8, DH had baby until midnight/1 and then I took over, so we both got some uninterrupted sleep.

Some prams are safe for overnight sleeping (icandy peach), have you got one like that and does baby like it?

We had similar issues but co sleeping did work for us. Does baby wake as soon as you put him down? Have you tried white noise, or some of the swaddle sleeping bags where they can have their arms up but not startle themselves awake?

Sorry if you've tried these just trying to remember other things that we tried. DD didn't like swaddling but after about a minute of being unhappy she couldn't wriggle her arms out she would conk out. She was born in July though and it was too hot to swaddle so didn't do it much.

Keep persisting with the safe 7 cosleeping. With DD2 she liked it when I had my forehead pressed onto hers.

You need to persevere with Him in his cot. A few days and he will adjust

An older midwife when I was in hospital who saw me sleeping with my baby on me “ said don’t do that, you’ll never be able to break the habit” and so I put her in her cot to sleep from then on.

You need to break the habit. Not persevere with it and make yourself ill.

Have you tried a cocoonababy? It is a mattress made to feel like baby is sleeping on mum and they are "cocooned" in.

@Bluntness100

You need to persevere with Him in his cot. A few days and he will adjust

An older midwife when I was in hospital who saw me sleeping with my baby on me “ said don’t do that, you’ll never be able to break the habit” and so I put her in her cot to sleep from then on.

You need to break the habit. Not persevere with it and make yourself ill.

Sorry but I think this is rubbish and such an old fashioned and damaging view to have. This is normal for a 4 week old baby and leaving it to cry in its cot until it is too exhausted to continue is not a better option for mother or baby. Cuddling is not a habit to break, it's needed and if OP can make co sleeping safe then they're both going to sleep a lot more soundly. Don't feel like you have to leave your baby to cry in it's cot, do what you have to do to survive and have a relaxed happy baby. Trust your instincts r.e safe sleep

Don't worry about making bad habits, just do what you need to do to keep everyone as happy as possible, which includes you and baby getting some sleep.

My lo liked Cosleeping where she'd fall asleep with my arm under her head so she was tilted a bit. Once she was in deep sleep, 8mins, I could remove it gently and lay her flat.

Does your next to me have the option of tilting one side slightly? That also helped. As someone else mentioned, they can sometimes dislike swaddling at first but then sort of give up and sleep regardless so worth persevering for a moment or 2.

You've probably already tried this, so sorry if it's a bit stating the obvious, but can you move your baby once she's asleep? I used to have to wait 20 minutes after mine fell asleep on me and then I'd be able to transfer her into a crib.

Once he's asleep, sorry!

I look back at letting both my DD sleep on my chest (on their front) because that was the only way we'd get any sleep in the early hours and it does scare me to think I could of put them both at risk. However when your so sleep deprived you will do anything and I think consciously your never in a deep deep sleep. Parenting a newborn is hard work and the lack of sleep doesn't help, try and nap as much as you can in the day helps a little more during those darkest times at night.

My second baby is 17 weeks. Most babies like to sleep in arms tbh but it’s not ideal for a few reasons. What I’ve done with her in the early weeks was aim for her to spend some part of the night in the next to me crib and not in my arms but I also made the bed as safe as possible for having her in with me. The thing with sids is that the very nature of parenting a newborn is a risk factor for sids. They say you shouldn’t co sleep if you’re tired but what new parent isn’t? You just have to minimise risk where you can. Eventually my dd started spending longer stretches in her cosleeper crib. What really helped is using the sleepyhead ( not recommended obviously but what works for us) as an insert and a love to dream arms up swaddle ( wouldn’t entertain the normal swaddling). I have a breathing monitor which helps with my anxiety over SIDS. Bar four nights last week when she randomly woke at 3am, she’s been sleeping in her crib 7/8pm until 6 am since 10 weeks

I ended up just letting baby sleep on me and made it as safe as possible. I also used a foot monitor which gave some reassurance.

In the beginning, my husband would stay awake whilst I slept with baby on me and then I would stay awake but after three weeks we were exhausted.

He is now a healthy 11 month old. Babies don’t always want to do what the guidelines tell them to.

I forgot to add, I did put him in the Moses basket for 2 hours a night also. But the rest of the time was on me.

I remember this dilemma too, DD wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me. I did it for a couple of months semi propped up with her on my chest and eventually we got a bed guard and did co sleeping. I probably agonised and worried over it way more than needed. I think it is a case of just doing whatever works on a night by night basis.

Have you tried a sling in the day time. My caboo was a game changer, while they are so little. Especially useful for skin to skin too.

Have you got a Sleepyhead? Worked a bit for us in these early difficult days and safer than sleeping on you

My lo liked Cosleeping where she'd fall asleep with my arm under her head so she was tilted a bit. Once she was in deep sleep, 8mins, I could remove it gently and lay her flat.

Same worked for me