dd is 13 and just told me she has a bf 🙄

[Rosebela]

My dd just turned 13. Today she told me she’s in love with her best friend and he asked her out. She said yes so now they are “ dating”. They catch the same bus everyday and she told me they hold hands and he puts his arms around her shoulder when they sit together on the bus. Personally, I think she’s too young for a boyfriend and with GCSEs just around the corner , I worry it might interfere with her education. Apparently his parents have no idea and he wants to keep the “information” from them . I’m pleased she felt comfortable to tell me but I just don’t know how to deal with it because the boy sometimes comes over to play video games ( ps4 is located in our living room) so I don’t know how to react/treat him from now on . His parents invited dd over for tea but she said she feels awkward because the bf hasn’t mentioned they are “ together “ and somewhat I’m happy that he hasn’t tbh. I wish they just stayed as best friends, it was so much simpler 🤣.
Any advice on how I should handle it , setting the boundaries without closing the line of communication , will be highly highly appreciated!

I think it’s pretty normal. Your dd is growing up. Don’t show her your cynicism, as it’s vital to keep lines of communication open as she gets older and starts to negotiate relationships.

I wouldn’t treat him any differently than you did when they were “just best friends”. 13 is a completely normal age for a first boyfriend, and it sounds like they’ve known each other for a long time and you liked him prior to finding out about their relationship. Things could be a lot worse.

She's 13 so GCSEs aren't just around the corner, odds on this boy will not be her boyfriend by the time they are. 14 is a perfectly normal.ahe for a holding hands boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Dont make this more than it is and for God sake no try to stop them, we all now the forbidden fruit tastes even sweeter.

Sorry for the many typos

Perfectly normal and good that he is a good friend first and boyfriend second. If all they are doing is holding hands and arms round each other they are behind most couples that age. Treat him as you usually would, whilst silently trying not to freak out!

Thank you for your replies, I do think I need to chill and not to freak out! Hubby isn’t happy with the idea and now wants to stop the boy from coming over

I got my first ‘boyfriend’ at around 13/14. He ended up actually being my on off boyfriend until I was around 18. Lots of my friends also had the first boyfriends at this age. Didn’t adversely impact my education in any way. Actually I think it was quite good as it gave me an insight and understanding of what a relationship is like, think it’s just a normal part of growing up? My parents didn’t let him stay over mind but he did used to be allowed to come round for tea. We used to watch antiques roadshow together 😂 and it was all quite innocent

Let the boy come over and play video games or accept that they'll go elsewhere (where they'll have more privacy and fewer distractions from each other).

I had my first boyfriend at 13. I think you’re daughter sounds very mature and it’s great she feels she can be open with you. I don’t think you have anything to worry about

I think your husband needs not to overreact here. Your DD is going to have boyfriends. This is all pretty innocent.
Talk to your DD about consent/boundaries etc

This sounds like petty normal teenage behaviour to be honest. It’s good that she’s told you, but she’s growing up and things like this are to be expected. Holding hands on the bus sounds innocent enough.

GCSEs aren't "just around the corner" and there's no reason why he should stop being allowed round.

Talk to her, be glad she's told you and let her know you're there for her. Set out ground rules, make sure she knows her boundaries and how to enforce them and let her get on with it.

Just be grateful she told you.
Have serious words about physical boundaries with a bf and hope for the best.

I'd be cautious as she's only just turned 13. But apart from that, I'd treat it like the friendship it should be at this age. No bedrooms, no hanging out together unsupervised. Apart from that, I'd probably be ok.