Social development in youngsters

[Heartofstrings]

Morning!

I have some concerns about my eldest boy. He's always been tricky and slightly behind in meeting his milestones. He's not horrifically behind with milestones but things like his emotional and social areas were flagged as behind at his 12m and 24m checks.

Both children went back to preschool in Feb. I don't really count autumn term as they were in a preschool which didn't suit him and pretty much spent it 50% at home. So basically been home for a year.

We are very fortunate (and tired) that me and dh arranged our work to be opposite shifts so the boys always had a parent.

In a nut shell, preschool have said (not in these exact words) that he always plays on his own and he terrorises the girls.

It muddies the waters for me. He's 4y4m. So his formative socialising learning time was stuck at home, when he was already behind.

Is this even recoverable? I feel this has caused irreparable damage. 2-4 years is such an important time for social development

Playing on his own is okay. I have one child who did prefer to play on his own.

Why is he terrorising the girls though?

Don't panic OP, of course this is recoverable. The early years are important for sure, but lots of 4 year olds struggle socially and learn to fit into the group as they get older. He's still only little!

What else did pre school say? Have they given you ideas for how to support his social and emotional development?

Google parallel play - it’s normal in nursery aged children.

@ChaBishkoot it's complex. Try as we might his behaviour is shocking. He's pretty good at preschool. Unfortunately my use of the word good isn't quite the same as I would use for my younger angel child. There's a potential he might have asd or something else.

He will chase them around with action figure toys. Will stop when reminded but then seems to forget.

I think I spent too much time talking and not enough time listening in the meeting because I had so much to tell them.

I really worry that covid has caused irreparable damage in such formative years when he really did need all the help he could get

I would focus on that. Did you ask for support for his behaviour? The school and you can refer to the GP who will refer onwards.

I have a child with CP and for the most part our appointments have continued (physio, OT from whom we got discharged and SLT) right through COVID. I am aware that’s not the case everywhere and there are delays (our ENT referral is very delayed) but the system is chugging along though. So if you ask for help there are some avenues available.

We are sort of stuck in the avenues, to be honest. Right at the very beginning and just waiting for everything. Professionals are expressing concern now he is 4 but now we are in limbo.

I guess this wasn't the point of my thread. I was hoping others kids were playing catch up because of lack of social practice but it's taken a different turn- probably more relevant

He has a physio and we haven't seen her in maybe 6 months

Oh we had a physio appointment yesterday and another one in 3 months’ time. (Also for the 4 year old). A 6 month break doesn’t sound good.