Getting my 13 month old back into his own bed

[doireallyneedaname]

So my son isn’t the worst sleeper in the world, but I’d like to help him (and us) sleep better.

I’ve done the sleep courses, read the help available online, and we’ve ended up here.

The current routine is up to our bed, he falls asleep on our bed next to me and I transfer him to his cot once asleep. He then wakes around 10 and comes in with us where he’ll sleep through until 6.

If I try and put him down in his own bed he won’t settle, and if on the rare occasion he does we usually have several wake ups and crying episodes until we eventually give up and go to bed so he can come with us.

I have thought that maybe I could put his mattress on his bedroom floor and put him to sleep there as I lay next to him, so he gets used to falling asleep on his own bed in his own room, but then I have the issue of getting the mattress back in to his cot, and I don’t want to create another problem.

I’ve tried lying next to his cot, sitting next to it, he just gets more and more worked up.

Is there anything else I could try? I’m not up for letting him cry it out!

You could take one side off the cot and butt it up to the side of your bed. This is called a sidecar cot. Gets him used to sleeping and staying in his cot, but with you right next to him.

I would do this by bringing his cot into your room initially. Then as he's used to staying in his cot you put the side back on but keep it next to your bed. Then move the cot away from your bed. Then to other side of your room. Then finally, when he's used to staying in his cot all night, then move to own room.

You can also do all of this with a single bed in baby's room. But this is less ideal imo for withdrawing to independent sleep.

@FATEdestiny Thanks for the reply!

His cot was actually in our bedroom up until last month, and it was directly next to my bed. I’d often have my arm through the bars so he knew I was there but he would just stand up or cry until we brought him in to our bed.

We were considering putting our mattress on the floor and just having his on the floor next to us but that just means prolonging the cosleeping I suppose!

Could you put him on a double mattress in his room, and you sleep in there to get him used to sleeping in his room?

Does he wake up during the night when in your bed and need resetting?

@withsexypantsandasausagedog that’s along the lines of what I was thinking, I’m just worried that by staying in there with him or using a mattress that isn’t his own, I’d be creating another issue.

He rarely wakes in the night once he’s in our bed. Sometimes he does wake around 4/5 when he’s got himself into an uncomfortable position, but usually he’ll sleep through from 10 to 6/7!

The problem is that he’s a bed hog and his dad is now on a mattress on the floor next to our bed. Our baby literally works his way up to his dads pillow and complaints until he moves out of the way.

I wonder whether he might sleep through in his room by himself if you lay with him until he fell asleep on a mattress on the floor, then crept away once he fell asleep? I wonder if you could then over time get him used to settling in his room once he is used to it?

I remember reading something about putting babies down where you want them to sleep as if you woke up somewhere different to where you fell asleep you would wake up properly and think where am I?! I remember that because it made sense!

Good luck!

Let him sleep with you. It's what he needs.

We did a double mattress on the floor, and then after around 6 months transitioned to a low level Montessori style wooden bed. Worked great

Following as my similar age baby does this too. I secretly don’t mind but husband less keen 🤣

@Conditionconditioncondition What age did you transition to the bed?